Photo by Shereen M
By Mary Jaksch
The season of giving is upon us. We know about the benefits of giving to the one who receives. They feel appreciated, loved, understood and so on.
But what about the benefits of giving to the one who gives?
The other day, I had an interesting experience at the supermarket. An elderly man stepped towards me, offered me a twenty cent piece and said, “I’m Greg. Would you like twenty cents towards buying food for the local Foodbank?” It turned out that he’s a Rotary member and was trying to encourage people to buy food for those who live in poverty.
I immediately dropped my own grocery plans and decided to shop for the Foodbank instead. I bought pasta, tomato sauce, cans of beans, a couple of packs of cereal, a Christmas pudding and some other bits and pieces. I imagined how a family in need would feel when they enjoyed my Christmas pudding, or how a mother would be happy to put breakfast in front of hungry kids. When I handed over my shopping bags to Greg, his face split in a big grin. Tears gathered in my eyes. Afterward I wondered why giving touches the heart.
Giving moves us because it frees us
For a moment we are released from thoughts about how we are, how we were, how we will be, how people see us, how we could be, how we should be, and so on. It’s what my teacher Robert Aitken calls the ‘Me-tape’, the tape that keeps on playing in our mind.
When we give with an open heart, we remember that we are not alone
You may want to say to me, “What? Of course I know I’m not alone!”
True. But let’s try an experiment. In order for this experiment to work, you need to be stressed. You’re not? Congratulations, you’re obviously a saint and can stop reading now. The experiment is for the rest of us who hurtle towards Christmas. We try to complete work, buy Christmas presents, attend work functions, organise the holidays, plan celebrations, contact family and friends, clean the home, and do many other things - even though time seems to accelerate.
Ok, so you and I are stressed, right? My question to you is:
When stressed, what percentage of waking time do you spend thinking about your own life?
Include thoughts about your work, planning thoughts, thoughts about the past, thoughts about pressing tasks, and thoughts about your relationship with others.
Well, what’s the percentage? It’s high, isn’t it?
The higher the stress, the more we become wrapped up in our own life
And when we’re wrapped up in our own life, we become oblivious to the fact that there are others ‘out there’, and that they have problems and needs too. That’s where the miracle of giving comes in. When we give with an open heart, we suddenly wake up from the ‘Me-tape’ and feel connected to others.
That’s why the Buddhist tradition places Dana, the path of generosity, as the first of the ten Perfections. Dana means freely giving of one’s material goods, time or wisdom to others. Dana is the first of the ten Perfections because generosity is a fundamental aspiration from which all spirituality flows. For example, generosity is the basis of kindness and compassion.
When we give with a pure heart, we feel joyful
What is a pure heart? It’s giving with no thought of return. In reality, our motives for giving are often tinged with ‘impure’ motives: maybe we are shamed or intimidated into giving; or we give to receive a favour; or we give in order to feel good about ourselves. Is ‘impure’ giving worthless? I don’t think so. Every action is in some way ‘impure’ because we are human beings, and not saints.
At the core of each one of us, there is a goodness yearning to find expression
Each act of giving emerges from that core of goodness, even though layers of mixed motivation may cloud our natural aspiration of generosity. Whenever we touch that core of goodness, we feel moved. This is natural giving.
Give freely, and enjoy how your core of goodness is touched
What’s your experience of giving? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
Talking of giving, there is something I would like to give to you. I plan to offer virtual retreats on Natural Spirituality (check out my next Goodlife ZEN article on Natural Spirituality!). Virtual retreats are ten day periods in which you are guided to focus on a particular aspect of spirituality, while still continuing in your everyday life. The first virtual retreat, Awareness: The Miracle of Now, will run from 22 February to 1 March, 2009. This virtual retreat is going to be by donation so that no-one is excluded because of financial hardship. Read more about the retreat and register your interest here.
Check out my personal story of giving and getting: Why Leo Babauta of Zen Habits Gave Me His Blog
Enjoy this related post: What is the Most Precious Gift?
Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything
译文:
消失的给予艺术
照片由 Shereen M提供。
由Mary Jaksch提供
给予的季节正一步步向我们走来。我们知道给予可以带给人们很多好处，受惠者会觉得很感激，感受人与人的爱，相互理解以及其他等等。
但是，给予者从施舍中得到了什么好处呢？
前几天我在超市经历了一场有趣的经历。一位老人走向我，给了我20美分一张纸币，然后对我说：“我叫Greg，你能用这20美分向当地的粮食银行购买食物吗？”显然他是一名扶轮社员，正试图鼓励人们为生活在贫困地区的人购买食物。
于是，我马上放弃了自己的购物计划，取而代之的是决定在食物银行购买东西。我买了意大利面食、番茄酱、豆制品罐头、两包谷类食品、一个圣诞布丁以及其他一些东西。我可以想象到：那些急需帮助的家庭吃着我的圣诞布丁时的感受，或者当一位母亲把早餐放在饥饿的孩子们面前，她将何等开心。当我把购物袋交给Greg的时候，他欣慰的咧嘴笑着。当时，我的眼里充满了泪水。之后我惊叹于为什么给予能够触动心灵。
给予感动我们是因为它释放了我们自己。
在此时此刻，我们从这些思绪中挣脱出来，如我们现在怎么样？ 我们过去怎么样？我们将会怎样？人们怎么看待我们？我们能成为怎样？我们应该怎样？等等。这就是我的老师 Robert Aitken所说的“自我录音”，那盘磁带会一直在我们脑子里播放。
当我们敞开心扉给予时，我们不会感到孤独。
你可能想跟我说：“什么，我当然知道自己不孤单！”
确实如此。然而，让我们来做一个试验。为了做这个试验，你需要使自己处于压力之中。如果你没有，祝贺你，你显然是一个圣人，现在就可以不用读下去。这个试验是为剩下的那些急着赶圣诞节的人准备的。我们试图完成工作，购买圣诞礼物，注意礼物的功能，安排假日，计划庆祝活动，联系家人和朋友，打扫房间，以及做其他许多准备工作-即使时间看起来加速流逝。
那么好，于是我和你都被压垮了，对吗？我对你的提问是：
当你精疲力竭的时候，你还有多少清醒的时间去思索你的人生？
包括你的工作、计划、过去的事情、催促的任务、以及你和其他人的关系。
当然，比例是多少？很高，不是嘛？
压力越大，我们越被包裹在自己的生活中。
当我们沉浸在自己的世界的时候，我们显然认识到其他人不在自己的范围，他们也有有很多问题和需要。那就是给予的奇迹的来源，当我们敞开心扉给予时，我们突然从“自我录音”中苏醒过来，感到和其他人联系在了一起。
那就是为什么佛教教义把Dana，慷慨之路，作为十大圆满论中的头条。Dana的意思是慷慨的给予别人自己的物质、时间或者智慧。把Dana作为十大圆满论中的第一条是因为慷慨是一种来自精神流动的基本渴望。例如，慷慨是善良和热情的基础。
当我们凭着一颗纯洁的心灵给予时，我们感到非常快乐。
什么是纯洁的心？给予不图回报。现实中，在我们给予的动机中经常夹杂着其他不纯的动机：可能是我们羞于或者害怕给予；或者我们的给予为了得到某种好处；或者我们的给予为了让自己感觉良好。那么不纯的给予是不是没有价值？我认为不是。每种行为在一定程度上都有着“不纯”的想法是因为我们是普通人而不是圣人。
在我们每个人的内心，有一种善意的渴望需要表达。
即使层层的混合动机给我们慷慨的自然渴望蒙上了阴影，但是每一种给予行为都来自善良的内心。 无论什么时候我们触到内心的善良，我们都会感动。这就是自然的给予。
慷慨给予，享受内心善意的触动。
你的给予经历是怎样的？请在评论区分享你的想法。
谈论给予，我想给你一些东西。我计划在自然精神中提供真实的逃避（可以看一下在自然精神中我的下一篇文章《美好生活ZEN》！）真实的逃避引导你在10天中关注一种特殊的精神方面，但是它可以仍旧在你的日常生活中继续。第一个真实逃避《认识：现在的奇迹》，从2月22日到2009年3月1日刊登。 这个真实的逃避是无私捐赠的，这样没有人会因为经济困难而无法阅读。请阅读关于逃避更多的内容，并把你的兴趣登记在这里。
请看我个人的给予和获得的故事：为什么Zen的习惯Leo Babauta给我他的博客
欣赏相关发布：什么才是最宝贵的礼物？
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