learn From the Child

读者: 290    发布时间: 03-27

原文: 于丹:向孩子学习

向孩子学习

文/于丹

青年文摘·彩版2009年第3理论理论

    自从女儿出生,我一直都向她学习,因为她成长的每个阶段都有自己的逻辑。女儿两岁半时我带她出国旅行,坐六个多小时的飞机,我以为她会很烦,但飞机真的飞到天上以后,她兴奋地看着窗外,说:妈妈我们到外边去吧。我说不能到外边去,她就说,我们坐飞机不就是为了到外边去吗?我才知道她是把飞机当“神七”了,上天就是为了出舱行走。我们大人把飞机当成交通工具,而她把这个工具本身当成目的。我说那咱们出去干吗?她说出去用白云堆雪人,还说白云落在地上变成了雪我们就只能用雪堆雪人了,可在天上是直接用白云堆雪人的。后来她就开始跟我讲天上的神话,一个不到三岁的孩子,把一片云海看成了一个无比斑斓的神话世界。

    其实想象能力可能在童年时人人都有,但后来成了遗忘的记忆。所以有时候作为一个大学教授我很痛苦,我想我们的教育会不会把一个天才终于教育成了庸才?面对两岁多的女儿,我不敢给她讲大气层是怎么回事,不能说从飞机出去会掉下去,这样就破坏了她所有的想象。让神话在她心里停留越久,有可能这一生就会越浪漫。

    有时候我领着女儿从幼儿园回家,在高楼的缝隙里偶尔看到月亮,她会欢天喜地大喊:妈妈,月亮!她的惊呼让我感动,因为我们现在没心思看月亮了,看了也不激动。她跳着说那个月亮是冰凉的,旁边的星星比月亮还要冷,但是太阳比它们热,就像她刚刚摸完这些东西一样。我想为什么她眼中的天空是不同的温度呢?孩子真是天才啊。

    女儿对自然保持着一种敏感,人世间的事情她有时候会一语中的。有一天她很深沉地问我:妈妈,我知道全世界你最爱的人是我,可是你第二爱的人是谁呢,是姥姥还是爸爸?我觉得我不能跟她说我都爱,那是糊弄小孩儿,必须艰难地选择一个答案。下了半天决心,出于教育的目的,我说是你姥姥。她说我知道你会这么说,我问为什么,她脱口而出的答案让我眼泪当时就出来了:因为我们三个原来是在一块儿的。她是剖腹产我也是剖腹产,她见过她姥姥肚子上的伤口,也见过我肚子上的伤口,她知道我原来是待在她姥姥的身体里,而她原来是待在我的身体里的,所以她说我们三个原来是在一块儿的。她当然不觉得她是一个外人,我爱她是理所应当的,我们三个必须相亲相爱。

    这是我想不到的答案,但是这个答案很高级,会直接给你一个人与人之间、哺乳动物之间的关系。

    很多事情她不懂,但她给出的答案比懂得的人更直接。奥运会期间有一次我带她坐飞机,她在机场跑来跑去,看见好多福娃做动作的宣传画,就用小手指着说这个是排球,这个是自行车,这个是乒乓球,这个是跳水,都说对了。但是她看到两个人抱在一起(柔道),不认得,回头看那么多大人看着,就大声地说,这个是打架。我赶紧告诉她打架不是一个奥运项目。我后来在电脑上查了一下专业术语,柔道、摔跤的统称叫对抗性竞技,是一种有规则的、比赛式的打架。

    我女儿现在不到三岁半,她给了我一种直观的思维方式,她可以一语道破本质,她没有那么复杂的逻辑关系。简单有时候是真理,童言无忌,就是因为她没有受到那些工具的束缚。她会真诚地表达她的爱和善意,她保持着童话的想象,她改变了这个枯燥的世界,她在我们司空见惯的东西上加上了太多的惊喜,她使我的眼前五彩斑斓。我相信,如果你向孩子学习,能够唤起你自己的天真,让你活得明白、坦率,而且简单纯粹。

译文: learn From the Child

learn From the Child

                  Yu Dan

Youth Digest ·color version

    

Since my daughter was born, I have been studying from her, because each stage of her growing up has its own logic .when she was two and a half year’s old, I took her abroad, I thought that she would feel boring during the six-hour flight, but she was watching out the window excitedly and said “let’s go outside” after the plane flew to the sky. I told her that we couldn’t go outside; she asked is plane not for us to go outside it?  Then I realized that she took the plane as the “Shenzhou 7 manned spacecraft”, it flew to the sky in order to go out of the Cabin. She considered this tool as an aim while we consider the plane as transportation. I asked her what did we go out to do. She told me we could made snowman with white clouds, and after they falling down, we could made snowman only with snow, but we can made the snowman with clouds directly while we are at the sky. Then she talked about the fables with me, a child younger than three year’s old, looked the sea of clouds as a world full of colorful myths.

 

 

In fact, everyone in childhood may have imagination, but they lose it afterwards. So, sometimes as a University Professor I felt depressed whether our education would make the genius become Mediocrities? When I was facing with my daughter I didn’t dare to tell her about the aerosphere, I couldn’t tell her if she came out the plane she would fall down, if I did so I will break all her imagination. The longer the myths stay in her mind, may be the more romance in her lifetime.

 

 

 Sometimes I took my daughter back from kindergarten, she saw the moon through the gap between the high buildings, she would shout happily: Mom, the moon! Her screams let me moving because we have lost the mood to watch the moon and we have no feelings while we see it. She jumped up and said that the moon was cool; the stars beside it were warmer. She seemed she touched those objects just now. I thought why the sky in her eyes was in different temperature? The children are genius.

 

 

Daughter is sensitive to the nature, concerning the things in the world; she always hit the nail on the head. One day, she asked me significantly: “Mon I know I’m the person you love most in the world, but who is the person you love secondly, grandmother or my father?” I thought I couldn’t tell her I love both, that was a lie; I must make a difficult choice. It took me a half day to make the decision, and then I told her the answer is grandmother out of educating her. She said:“ I know you will say this answer.” I asked why. The answer she blurted out let my tears came out at that moment: because we three are together originally. She and I are both caesarean birth child, she have seen the scar on my mother’s belly and mine, she know I stayed in her grandmother’s body originally and she stayed in my body originally, so she said we three are together originally. She felt certainly she was a stranger and I should love her, we three are must love and respect each other.

 

 

     This answer was out of my expectation, but it was high-quality, it would give you a relationship between people and between mammals directly.

 

 

     She didn’t understand most of the things, but her answer is more direct than the answer given by those who understood most things. During the Olympic Games, once we were going to catch the plane, she ran around the airport and saw many posts which the fuwa doing the act, she used her pinkie pointed and told me which was the volleyball ,which was the bicycle, ping-pong and diving, all her answer were right. But while she saw two people were embracing together(judo), she didn’t recognize, and se saw so many adults was looking at her then she spoke loudly:“this is fighting.” I told her immediately that fighting is not the Olympic sports. I surfed the Internet afterwards about the major term, judo and wrestling are collectively referred to confrontational sport, and that is a kind of well-regulated and match-style fighting.

 

 

My daughter is now less than three and a half year’s old, she gives me a kind of direct way of thinking, she can it the nail on the head, her logic is very simple. Simplicity sometimes is a truth, children always tell the truth, that because she doesn’t constrained by those tools. She will express her love and kindness sincerely, she keeps the imagination of the fairy tale and she has changed this boring world, she has added so many surprises on the things we see as commonplace, she makes my world full of colors. I believe that, if you learn from the children you can recall your simplicity, make your life clear, frank , simple and pure.