They live among us, in human form.

To the untrained eye, it is almost impossible to tell the difference.
Typically they look like you and I, but they're not, they're not like us at all.

They are Vampires and their modus operandi is not to steal your blood but rather, your precious energy.
Your life-force.
Your mojo.
To drain you emotionally and psychologically.
To frustrate you with their repetitious, self-indulgent, attention-seeking diatribe.

They are often bitter, angry and resentful...and they want you to share their pain.
They don't want solutions, they want pity.
They don't want constructive feedback, they want attention.
They don't want to take responsibility, they want to blame and vent.
They seem to revel in their own misery.

Day in, day out. They have the same conversations about the same issues with the same people and produce the same result; no change.

They major on minors.
They bring others down.
They have a gift for finding the negative.

They are emotionally exhausting to be around.

They inhabit our work places, our families, our schools and they permeate every corner of society.

Note: I will point out that Energy Vampires are not to be confused with the vast majority of people who simply need help, support, direction and care... and are serious about working on themselves and their situation. They are also not to be confused with people who are genuinely looking for answers (not attention or sympathy) and are prepared to accept responsibility, be accountable and be proactive.

No, the people I'm talking about here are relentless in their negativity and their 'woe-is-me' ness (a Craigism).

As most of you know, I am serious about helping people create their best life and I choose to spend much of my life working with a wide range of people to help them confront and deal with their issues and create their own version of amazing. But, I'm not about letting people monopolize my time and energy and I won't buy into their poor attitude or their negativity. I don't care how messed up someone's life or situation is, if they have a good attitude, I'll help them. Gladly.

If they're a Vampire, I'm outta there. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

It's great to be a giver, a carer and a feeler (sometimes), but now and then we need to take a stand with certain people.. because if we don't, we begin to suffer and then nobody wins.

So here are my tried and proven tips for coping with Energy Vampires.
(Not every tip is appropriate for every person and situation but you might find some of them useful)

      他们就生活我们中间，以普通的生活方式。

 

      若你的眼睛未受过训练，几乎不可能看出他们有何不同。

      通常，他们看起来如同你和我，但他们不是，他们完全与我们不同。

 

      他们是吸血鬼，他们的做法并不是要你的血，而是你宝贵的能量。

      你的生命力。

      你的运气。

      在情感和心理上，喝干你。

      他们用不断重复，放纵自己，吸引你的注意力的谩骂来挫败你。

 

      他们通常怀恨，狂暴，愤恨……而他们要你来分享他们的痛苦。

      他们不要答案，他们要同情。

      他们不要建设性的回馈，他们要受重视。

      他们不要承担责任，他们要责备，发泄。

      他们在自己的不幸中狂欢。

 

      日复一日。他们和同一群人对于同一个话题进行着同样的对话，然后得到同一个结果；没有任何变化。

 

      他们将注意力放在未成年人身上。

      他们把他人击倒。

      他们对于消极特别敏感。

 

      他们几乎无处不在。

      他们居住在我们工作的地方，我们的家，我们的学校，他们渗入到我们社会的各个角落。

 

      注意：我要指出,这些"吸血鬼"不会和大多数简单地寻求帮助,支持,指引和关心的人混淆…也不会和对自己工作和处境认真地人混淆。他们也不会和那些想要真正寻找答案的（而非关注或同情）人，和那些准备承担责任，有责任心和主动积极地人混淆。

 

      我在这里谈论的人是喋喋不休抱怨自己的不幸和伤心的人。（Craig的支持者） 

 

      就如大多数人知道的，我很认真地想帮助人们创造他们最好的生活，所以我选择花我大量的时间来帮助大多数人面对和解决他们的问题，创造他们自己的奇迹。但是，我不会让人们完全占有我的时间和精力，而且也不会接受他们消极的态度。我不在乎某人的生活和情况有多糟，如果他们有积极的生活态度，我就会乐意帮助他们。

 

      如有他们是个“吸血鬼”，我就会远离他们。拜拜，我才不要成为你这样的。

 

 

      所以，这里是我尝试并且经过证明的来应付“吸血鬼”的方法。

      （并不是每条方法都适应每个人，每个场合，但你也许能找到些对你有用的。）

 

      辨别你生活中的“吸血鬼”，认识到他们对你的影响力，然后找到方法来改变你们之间的相处方式。

 

      不要相信他们所说“生活不公平，没有人能理解我”，助长了这种想法的话，就会麻烦不断。

 

      对他们坦率，告诉他们你不会再和他们谈论同一个问题了（是，这需要勇气）。

 

      这听起来有些刺耳，但是有些“吸血鬼”要避免和他们接触。

 

      不要给他们太多时间。当一个“吸血鬼”走进我的办公室，我就会站起来，好似我正要去什么地方。我会给他们几分钟，但一旦发现我们又在谈论同一话题的时候，我就会走开，结束这样的对话。

 

      问问他们问题，像是“既然你已经意识到了问题，那么说说你能怎样做来改善呢？”

 

      如果在你的生活中（或是家庭）有这样的“吸血鬼”，和他们约法三章：“除非让我看到你做了些改变，不然我不会和你再谈论‘这些’问题。”