There is no such thing as perfect happiness because it varies widely. That’s the beauty of honing your ability to enjoy life. It strengthens your mind to adapt to new ideas.
“We are what we focus on.”
In other words: The people who practice happiness every day are the people who bring happiness into their lives.
Since you are reading this you probably have a healthy brain, which will allow you to create a positive rhythm for your thoughts.
How does someone create a positive thought rhythm?
The easy answer is replacing the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. As we all know it isn’t as easy as it sounds.
Negative thoughts are there to help us stay grounded. If we were all a bunch of happy go lucky flakes we wouldn’t hold down our jobs and probably have trouble keeping our relationships together.
I wouldn’t want you to turn your mind into a positive thought factory, forcing yourself to think positive thoughts. If you did, you would be suppressing energy that will one day need to be released. Positive thinking (Yin) needs its negative counter part (Yang), but they need to be balanced. Instead of forcing yourself to think positive thoughts, it’s all about finding the right inspiration and going with it.
I’ve been practicing a three step process that has helped me find the positive rhythm in almost any situation.
Step 1 – Tune into the way a situation makes you feel
Let’s imagine we are in a tough situation, such as a fender bender. No one is hurt, but you put a little dent in the back of the other person’s car because you weren’t paying attention. You both pull over and both of you get out of your vehicles. Your car also has an indent and crack underneath the right headlight. You should get upset at this situation. You were being absent minded and not paying attention. The negative attack begins. “How could I have been so careless?” and “Man, I’m going to be late for work.” and “This sucks.” The negative thought usually arrives first because it’s a mistake that you made, but underneath them be aware of other feelings.
Step 2 – Understand why your feelings are there
Why do these negative thoughts and emotions occur when we make a mistake? Everyone needs emotion to learn from and help process the situation. After the first wave of thoughts wash over us this is where most of us have our “tipping point.” It’s at this vital moment that we can direct our thoughts toward the rhythm that we want. We can either continue the negative thinking or we can allow the positive thoughts to start creeping in. A little fender bender can turn into a big ordeal, causing a bad day, or it can be just another moment in a day to deal with.
Step 3 – Find the smallest enjoyable detail and build on it
That’s why we must find the little detail that helps us build on a positive rhythm. Such as: “No one was hurt.” or “The damage wasn’t that bad.” or “At least I hit a nice person who didn’t freak out on me.”
Then we must build on this detail: “My friend is a body mechanic and he can take care of this.” or “Thank my lucky stars that my insurance is awesome.”
By adding to each positive thought we can create a rhythm that allows optimism to take over.
译文:
如何奏响积极的思想旋律
世上并不存在完美的幸福，因为人们对幸福的理解是见仁见智的。这也是生活的魅力所在，因为你能够通过完善自己的能力，更好地享受生活。同时，这也增强了你不断地让自己适应新鲜的想法能力。
“我们关注的焦点决定了我们是谁”
换句话说，那些每天实践幸福的人就能把幸福带入他们的生活。
现在你在阅读此篇文章说明你有一个健康的大脑，它将让你的思想演奏出积极的旋律。
一个人如何演奏出积极的思想旋律？
答案很简单，用积极的思想取代消极的思想。正如我们所知，它听起来容易，做起来难。
消极的思想会围困我们。如果我们都是乐天派，我们将不会让手头的工作停滞，也许也就不会陷入与他人关系的困境中。
我不希望你强迫自己拥有积极的想法，如同把你的思想安置于一个生产积极想法的工厂中那样机械。如果那样的话，那么你压抑的情绪早晚有一天需要释放。积极的思想（阴）和它的反面，消极的想法（阳）需要相互平衡。你应该寻找正确的方向来激励自己，而不是迫使自己思考出积极的想法。
我尝试着通过三个步骤帮助我在大多数场合下找到积极的旋律。
第一步 – 找到特定场合下你的感觉
假设我们正处于困境，比如一次不严重的碰撞事故。 没有人受伤，但是你因为不小心而撞了下别人的车尾。你们都停下车，走了出来。你车的右前灯下方也有一丝凹陷和裂缝。这时你会感到不安。你刚才心不在焉，没有集中注意力。消极的想法朝你袭来，：“我怎么会这么不小心？”或者“拜托，我上班要迟到了。”或者“这事真麻烦。”当你犯错误时，消极的想法从会第一时间出现，但是请注意随之而来的其他感受。
第二步 –明白为何会有这样的感觉
为什么我们犯错之时，就会有消极的念头和情感产生呢？每个人都需要学习以不同的感情去应对不同的场合。在第一波的消极思想席卷过后往往是大多数人的情感“引爆点”。我们可以在这个关键时刻决定我们的思想是否会向我们期望的方向发展。我们或者继续这种消极思想，或者让积极的思想开始进入。一场小交通事故会愈演愈烈，让你一天都闷闷不乐，或者它只是你一天中需要应对的众多事情之一。
第三步 –找出最快乐因子并将其放大
这就是为何我们必须找出可以帮助我们建立积极情绪的小事情。比如，：“没有人受伤，”或者“损害并不大，”或者“至少我冒犯了一个脾气不错的人，他不会对我暴跳如雷。”
然后我们必须这些小细节展开去：“我朋友是医生他可以解决这些问题，”或者“我买了一大笔保险，真是够幸运的。”
通过不断添加积极的想法，我们便得以让乐观的情绪变成主旋律。