Choosing a career is a huge responsibility, both for men and women. I think this is especially true for men though, since we’re socially conditioned to value our careers very highly and to mix our egos into our work. It’s tough for many men to feel fulfilled and happy when their careers aren’t going well, even if everything else is working OK. But if a man’s career is thriving while the rest of his life is only so-so, he may still be generally happy and content. Obviously there are exceptions, but this is a common pattern I see, both within myself and in others.
Your career is a very important part of your life, and I’m not going to downplay its significance. A good career is one of the greatest blessings you’ll ever experience, and a bad career is one of life’s greatest curses.
Some people really feel the weight of this choice, and it scares them. I see this a lot with students. What if I choose the wrong major in college? What if I get a job I don’t really like? What if I start a business and end up hating it? Those are all good questions. It’s great to be asking them ahead of time.
It’s OK to be a little anxious about this choice, but don’t let the fear stop you from exercising your ability to choose consciously. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t even have to be right at first. In fact, you’ll get much better results in the long run if you’re willing to fail.
Making the wrong career choice
I’m going to be totally straight with you. If you make a mistake in your career choice, you’ll probably suffer for it. A bad decision here will sting a bit. It may even hurt a lot. A bad career choice can bring down other parts of your life too. It can negatively affect your health, your relationships, and your home life. You can’t simply compartmentalize it. In most cases it’s an ugly sight to behold.
But here’s the worst of it. Your first career choice — and most likely your first few choices — will probably be wrong for you.
If I had to guess, I’d say that about 50-80% of the time people make a career choice, they choose wrong. And here I’m referring to the people who make this choice consciously and deliberately. If social conditioning substitutes for conscious choice, and people just fall into a career path, then I’d estimate we’re somewhere in the 95-99.9% range. Good choices rarely happen by accident.
You never know until after you commit
Even with a lot of conscious thought, the right career choice is very difficult to make. The reason is that you never really understand these kinds of decisions until after you’ve made them.
Recently Erin and I had a professional chef at our house preparing some food. She’s a very experienced chef who used to work at a popular casino restaurant. One of the items she made was a vegan banana cake, using a recipe we gave her. The cake looked great, but it was like trying to chew a mattress. It reminded me of when the Three Stooges accidentally baked a potholder into a cake. Even with all her experience and skill, this chef didn’t know how the recipe would turn out until she made it.
So what did we do? We just said, “OK, that recipe wasn’t so good. Let’s not use it again.”
What do most people do when they make the wrong career choice? They pretend they like the cake, trying not to grimace too much while eating it. Mmmm… it’s so deliciously rubbery!
Cut your losses
If you make a bad cake, dump it and move on. Don’t stare at the cake lamenting the time and money you’ve invested in it. If the cake is bad, the cake is bad.
The same goes for bad career choices. Once you recognize your mistake, cut your losses and get out as soon as possible. A wrong decision doesn’t become a right decision by pretending. Forgive yourself and move on.
It’s very challenging to hit upon the right career choice even with deliberate, conscious intent. That’s OK. You have the right to make mistakes. That’s how you learn and grow. As you make mistakes, you’ll refine your thought processes, and your decisions will improve.
Years ago I was reading about a group of people who became self-made millionaires at a young age. I don’t recall the source. But I remember that it was mentioned that the average person in that group had gone through about 17 different careers before finding the one that lead to financial success. That may seem like an insane amount of switching, but sometimes you have to try a lot of different recipes just to find one you really love.
译文:
选错了职业怎么办？
选择一条正确的职业生涯道路是种巨大的责任，无论对男性或女性都是如此。然而我认为这对男性而言更为准确，因为在社会心理定势下，男性把自己的职业生涯看得很重，并且把自我与工作融为一体。对许多男性而言，当职业发展不顺利时，就算其它方面都还不错，他们也难以感到圆满和快乐；而如果事业成功，其它方面乏善可陈，他也依旧可能觉得过得不错。当然例外是有的，但这是我所见的普遍模式，无论是在我自己还是他人身上都是应验了的。
你的职业生涯是生命中非常重要的一部分，我也不会贬低它的重大意义。一条好的职业道路是你所能感受的最棒的祝福之一，而糟糕的职业则是生活中最大的诅咒之一。
有的人确实感到了这种选择的分量，并且感到恐惧。这种情况在学生中间尤为常见。要是我大学选错了专业怎么办？要是我选了一份并不真正喜欢的工作怎么办？要是我创了业，最后却厌烦了怎么办？这些问题都问得很好。事先问一问是值得的。
对该选择抱有些许焦虑是无妨的，但别让这种恐惧阻碍你体验自身有意识地选择的能力。你不必苛求完美，你甚至不必一开始就走对。事实上，如果你已经准备好接受失败，长期下来你会得到更好的成果。
当你选错了职业
我会说得很直接。如果你在职业选择上犯了错，你可能会因此受害。一个糟糕的决定会刺激你。它甚至会带来不小的伤害。同时，它也会拖累你生活的其它方面。它会损害你的健康、人际关系和家庭生活。你无法把它单独割裂出去。在大多数情况下，这是个令人难受的境况。
但最糟的是，你最初的职业选择——很可能有好几次——都有可能是错误的。
如果让我来猜，我会说人们在选择职业时，大约有50％－80％的时候都会选错。而这里我指的是那些有意识和特意去选择的人。如果用社会条件来取代有意识的选择，人们仅仅是被随便推上某条职业道路，那我就得把这个估计范围扩大到95％——99.9％。正确的选择几乎不可能偶然发生。
不做，就永远也不知道
就算经过大量有意识的思考，选择正确的职业也很困难。原因是，只有在你决定之后，才可能真正理解这些决定的意义。
最近Erin和我找了个专业厨师到家里来准备食物。她经验丰富，曾经在一个颇受欢迎的娱乐型餐厅工作。她准备的食物种有一个是一份香蕉素蛋糕，用了我们给她的一个方子。蛋糕看起来很棒，但吃起来却像咀嚼床垫似的。这让我想起《三个臭皮匠》中有人不小心把隔热垫夹在蛋糕里去烤的情节。就算这个厨师有着丰富的经验和技能，在蛋糕烤好之前，她也不知道这个方子会出来这么个结果。
那我们能说什么？我们只说：“好吧，这个方子不怎么样。别再用它了。”
当选错职业时，大多数人是怎么做的呢？他们假装自己喜欢那个蛋糕，吃的时候努力不让自己龇牙裂嘴。嗯……多么美味的橡胶啊！
割掉你的损失
如果你做了个失败的蛋糕，丢掉它，然后继续。别盯着蛋糕哀悼你为此投入的时间和金钱。蛋糕完蛋了就是完蛋了。
选职业也是一样。一旦你发现自己错了，赶紧割掉这个损失，尽快离开。假装并不会使错误变为正确。原谅自己，并继续向前。
就算刻意努力，要选中正确的职业道路也是个很大的挑战。那就是你学习和成长的方式。在犯错的同时，你也会优化自己的思考过程，以后的决定就会越来越正确。
多年前，我读过一篇关于一些通过自力更生，年纪轻轻便成了百万富翁的人们的故事。我想不起是在哪看到的了。但我记得里面提到，这些人平均干过17种不同的工作，才找到那条成功之路。如此频繁的转换看起来简直是有病，但有时你的确得一再尝试不同的方子，才能找到你真正喜欢的那一个。
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