原文: 10 Things I’ve Learned as I’ve Matured

 

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Posted in Friday Funny

Today is my birthday: number 53. I’ve learned many lessons as I’ve grown older. Here are a few of them:

1. I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in…
2. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
3. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
4. I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
5. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
6. I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
7. I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
8. I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
9. I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.
10. I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Recommended: The Zen Habits Handbook for Life!

译文: 长大后学到的10件事

 

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发表于《Friday Funny》

今天是我53岁生日。在我成长的岁月里我获得了许多领悟。其中的一些如下：

1. 我明白了你无法使别人爱上你。你能做的只有昂首傲视他们并且希望他们感到害怕从而投降。
2. 我明白了无论你有多在乎，总有一些人像傻子一样，他们就是不理解你。
3. 我明白了要建立信任需要花好几年的时间，而要摧毁它无需证据的怀疑就足够了。
4. 我明白了无论什么东西击中了电风扇都不会被均等地分散。
5. 我明白了你无需把自己和他人作比较——他们比你想的更卯足了劲。
6. 我明白了年龄对于成熟的代价是极高的。
7. 我明白了我不会因疯狂而受折磨，因为我享受疯狂。
8. 我明白了除了名人以外，我们都必须为自己的所作所为负责。
9. 我明白了如果你房子里有什么东西坏了，有99%的可能是你的某个孩子做的。
10. 我明白了人类的智慧比不上大自然的愚蠢。