“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” - Henry Ford
One of the biggest challenges in trying to accomplish any personal goal is that we tend to put them off until tomorrow, or next week, in favor of more pressing matters at work and home.
Unfortunately, tomorrow never gets here.
If you want to accomplish a goal, you have to start on it today. Finding the time to take the steps necessary is the problem, of course, as we all lead busy and complicated lives, and when we do have time, we’re too tired to do anything that requires energy or thought. We want to veg out in front of the TV, or take a nap.
So how do you find the time for your personal goals? That’s what reader Trin recently asked:
How to do you honestly make the time? I’m not even sure where to begin with my own goals, as I already feel I have to sacrifice something important to take care of me. I would really love your opinion, as a father of 6 children, what activities were cut out of your daily life in order to insert your personal goals?
I’m not going to be able to give an easy answer. There isn’t a single little trick I can give you to find huge blocks of time where you can pursue all the goals you’ve ever dreamed of. It takes work, it takes commitment, it takes motivation … but it can be done, without a doubt. I’ve done it — despite being married with six kids, and until recently working two jobs, I found time to train for a marathon, to work on eliminating my debt, to eat healthier, to declutter and become organized, to wake earlier, and more.
How? Again, there was no one step that did it for me, but a series of them that add up over time:
- One goal at a time. Often the problem is that we try to take on too many goals at once. We have a list of things we want to accomplish, spanning the spectrum from gardening to learning Italian to getting in shape. It can be overwhelming, and because of that we never start. Or instead, perhaps we start with a head full of steam, but then run out of steam quickly, because it’s extremely difficult to maintain focus and energy (the two key ingredients in accomplishing a goal) for too many goals at once. Even two goals at once is difficult, if you aren’t already running on autopilot for one of those goals. For now, focus on one goal at a time. Once that’s on autopilot, you can go to the next one. Figure on at least a month per goal.
- Make sure you really want it. It’s not enough to say, “It would be nice to learn French” or “It would be cool to do yoga every morning”. It has to be something you really want. Ask yourself why you want to achieve this goal, and how much you want it. Figure out your motivations. That’s important to do early on, or you won’t make time for it.
- Make it your top priority. We all have multiple things to focus on in our lives, from school or work to family to errands to various goals and commitments and hobbies and civic activities. If we put all these focuses before our One Goal, we won’t ever find the time for our goal. There’s only so much time in the day. At some point, we’ve got to prioritize, and if we make our goal our top priority,we’ll make the time.
- Reduce your commitments. I’m a big fan of simplifying your life — and one of the first things you should do when simplifying is to make a short list of the 4-5 things that are most important to you, that you want to make time for, that you love and that bring you joy. I’ve said this before, but just to give you an example, my top things are spending time with my family, writing, reading, and running. Everything else is non-essential. Once you’ve made your short list, you should reduce some of the non-essential commitments. Is being a member of the Harley-Davidson club no longer bringing you joy and fulfillment? Gracefully bow out. If you reduce at least a few commitments, you’ll now have room in your life for the things you want to do — including your personal goal.
- Keep it simple. It’s important not to make your personal goal too complicated. You don’t want to have a huge list of things to do in order to accomplish your goal. You’ll be overwhelmed. Instead, focus on a smaller sub-goal that will lead you to your bigger goal. If you have a goal to invest for retirement, for example, make your first goal simply to learn what you need to know about investing. Make your second goal to open the necessary account and transfer money. Then make it your goal to have regular, automatic contributions and not to touch those contributions. Another approach is to focus first on creating a habit that will get you to your goal. If your goal is getting in shape, for example, focus on forming the habit of walking each day (or running, or cycling, or whatever). Once you’ve formed that habit, focus on drinking only water. Then on eating fruits and veggies instead of junk snacks. And so on, until you’ve reached your goal.
- Stay focused. One of the most difficult things when it comes to achieving goals is maintaining your focus on that goal. It’s easy to become obsessed with something else, and when we lose focus, we suddenly stop making time for the goal. Instead, find ways to maintain that focus. Put a poster on your wall, or a printout on your fridge, or make your goal your computer desktop picture. Send yourself daily reminders. Tell others about it, in real life and on your blog, and have them ask you about it daily.
- Block off time. OK, this is a crucial step. Maybe it should be No. 1 on this list, but I felt it important to lay the foundation with the steps above first. But once you’ve laid that foundation, you absolutely must block off time to work on your goal. Whatever time works for you — first thing in the morning, lunchtime, mid-afternoon, right after work, late at night. Try to schedule a time when you won’t be interrupted by other “urgent” requests (meetings, calls, kids, etc.) and when you have good energy. For me, that’s in the morning, as mid-afternoons are times when other things come up to interrupt your schedule (especially when I worked in an office) and early evening (right after work for most people) I tend to get a bit tired. You have to find the right block of time. Designate no less than 30 minutes, although really an hour is much, much better. Two hours isn’t feasible for most people, but your schedule might be different.
- Make it your most important appointment. That block of time you just scheduled has to be given the utmost priority. There are appointments we take seriously — a doctor’s appointment, or an important meeting — and we will do everything we can to ensure that we make those appointments and are not late for them. “Sorry, I have a doctor’s appointment at that time — can’t take the conference call until a couple hours later.” But when it comes to our time for working on our personal goal, we will often push it back because of other pressing things. Don’t let that happen. Make that block of time on your schedule become sacrosanct, and never let it be violated.
- Show that you’re serious. Be fully committed. Tell as many people as possible about your goal, and the scheduled block of time that is sacrosanct. Write down your goal, and be specific. If you can’t even write it down, you’re not serious. Then write out a plan, with dates and actions. Think about obstacles, and write down your strategy for overcoming them. The plan shows you’re serious.
- Find your time wasters. In every person’s life, there are things that can easily be cut out without making much of a difference. Things that waste our time without giving us much benefit. Things such as TV, video games, fun stuff online, going to bars, etc. If you can identify those time wasters, you can free up time for working on your goals. Remember, if it’s not on your short list (No. 4 above), you can eliminate it.
- Make it a part of your daily or weekly routine. This is important to keep the goal going for a long period of time. If it’s a goal you can complete in a week, you don’t need to do this step. But the most worthwhile goals are ones that take time to accomplish, and for those, you’ll need to make it part of your routine. Some goals will need to be daily — say, drinking water, or exercise, or perhaps decluttering. Find a time in your daily routine where you will always do this activity, and don’t let yourself drop it. Put it immediately after something that’s already firmly ingrained in your routine — say, showering or brushing your teeth, or arriving at work — so that you won’t forget to do it. For other goal activities, a weekly schedule would be better — say, making a weekly savings deposit or debt payment, or a weekly yoga class — put this on your calendar and have a reminder sent to you so you don’t forget it.
“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” - Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back
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译文:
怎样找时间实现你的个人目标？
障碍就是当你的视线离开既定目标时所看到的一切可怕的东西。
---亨利.福特
在实现梦想过程中我们最大挑战是我们总想把它推到明天或者下个星期来完成，因为眼下的工作或者家庭琐事更要紧。而不幸的是，明天好像永远都不会到来。
如果你想实现自己的的个人目标和价值，建议你从今天开始。找时间迈开第一步至关重要，因为我们每天的生活都忙忙碌碌被各种琐事缠身，好不容易找到点时间的时候，我们却总是累得不想去做任何需要精力和智慧的事情。相反，我们宁可坐在电视机前打发时间，或者美美的小睡一下。
这样的话，又怎么能找到时间来实现目标呢？这是最近读者阕恩问我的问题：
“您好，不知道您能不能坦诚的告诉我您是怎么找到那么多空余时间的？我有梦想有目标，可是我似乎都不知道从何开始，虽然我知道我必须牺牲一些对我来说很重要的东西，才能实现梦想。我很想听听您的观点，告诉我你作为一位六个孩子的父亲，为了实现你的个人目标，你忽略了生活中的哪些东西？谢谢。”
“我不可能告诉你一个简简单单的答案，因为根本就没有。我无法教你任何小伎俩，你就能够找到大把大把的时间来实现你的梦想。工作需要做，责任需要承担，个人梦想需要实现……但是，不管怎样，毫无疑问，它是可以实现的。至少，我做到了---尽管我是一个6个孩子的爸爸，并且有两份工作，但是，我能找到时间训练马拉松、还清债务、吃绿色食物、整理杂务、早起锻炼等等。”
但是到底怎样做到呢？对我来说，这也不是一下实现的，有一系列的事情需要对付：
第一：每次定一个目标
我们经常一次性给自己定很多目标，这样往往带来很多问题。我们有一大堆的事情想要完成，从园艺、到健身到学习意大利语等等。这样太多了，会让自己压力重重无从起手；要不就是满头大汗，筋疲力尽，因为要一心多用实在是太难了，就是一心二用有时候都做不成。那么从现在开始，只给自己定一个目标，一旦上紧了发条，你就可以很快实现它，并且才有可能开始第二个目标。至少一个月要给自己制定个目标，这样你能督促自己去完成。
第二：开始行动前，确定你真的很想实现它
如果你只是觉得“恩，要是能学学法语不错啊！”或者“每天早上练瑜伽好酷哦”，那证明你并不是很想实现。最好，你的目标是在必得。问问你自己为什么想要实现这一目标，自己对它有多高的期望值，清楚了自己的动机，你总会给自己找到时间的。
第三：让你的目标成为每天的第一要务
我们每天都有各种各样的事情要处理，从学校到工作；从家庭到公务；从个人目标到社交活动；从个人爱好到集体活动，等等。如果我们把所有这些都当作最重要的事情来完成，我们根本不可能有时间来实现自己的目标。毕竟，一天的时间有限，因此，很大程度上讲，我们必须要分清轻重缓急，如果把自己的目标当作每天的第一要务，我想你肯定会有时间的。
第四：减少投入，把注意力集中在有限的事情上
我个人比较喜欢简单的生活方式，简化你的生活---从一系列的事情当中挑选出四五件对你来说最重要的；最想花时间做好的；或者你最爱做的和最让你快乐的。之前我也谈到过这一点，我列举的这四五件事情只是我举的一个例子，对于我来说，生活中最重要的事情是陪伴我得家人、写东西、看书、跑步。其他所有的事情都是无关紧要的。一旦你列出了你自己的计划，你应该尽可能少参与其他事情。泡吧是不是再也不能给你带来快乐与满足了?那就从容退出吧。如果你少参与了好几件事情，那么你的生活中就就有了足够的空间来做你真正想要做的事情---当然，也包括你的个人目标啦。
第五：让你的目标简单一些
这一点很重要，不要让你的个人目标太复杂。我想你也不愿意为了实现你的目标，你需要处理一大堆的事情吧。那样，你会被吓跑的。相反，如果你的目标很明确，很清楚，要实现目标分几步走，逐个击破，逐步实现，那会简单得多。如果你现在又一个目标是为你以后退休以后投资，那么你现在的第一步就是学习关于投资的知识；第二步就是开一个帐户，转钱方便；第三步就是定期自动为你的帐户贡献力量，并且不能动用。要实现目标的另外一种方法就是养成一个好习惯。如果你的目标是减肥，让身材变得魔鬼，起码你得养成做运动的习惯，比如散步、跑步、骑车，等等。一旦你养成了这个习惯，再坚持多喝水，多吃水果蔬菜，不吃膨化食物、垃圾食物，直到你实现自己的目标。
第六：坚持才是胜利
实现目标最难的就是坚持到底。我们很容易对一些东西着迷，一旦我们失去了生活的重心，自然也就没有时间和精力来管什么所谓的个人目标了。我们不能迷恋于其他的东西，相反我们要找时间来实现自己的梦想。你可以在墙上贴张海报；或者打印出你的目标贴在冰箱上；或者把你的梦想设计成你的电脑壁纸；或者给自己设个备忘录，还可以告诉你身边的其他人，或者写在你的博客里，让别人每天提醒你。
第七：保证每天定量的时间
这一点有点残酷，这一点本应该在第一点中提出来，但是我觉得前面的六步是基础。现在你已经打好基础了，那么你现在要做的就是给出定额时间。一天当中你哪个时间段办事效率最高---清晨第一件事、午饭时间、下午三四点、下班后还是深夜？试着腾出一个时间，在这段时间里你不会受任何人的打搅，也不会有任何诸如会议、电话、孩子吵闹之类的任何紧急情况，并且这段时间里你精力充沛。对我来说，早上和下午三四点总是有很多事情打断我（特别是我在办公室的时候），而黄昏时候（也就是刚下班）我又觉得有点累。总之，你要为自己找到最合适的时间。设置最少30分钟，当然，一个小时更好，两个小时的话，对很多人来说比较难，但是，因人而异吧。
第八：把你的私人时间，当作是你一天当中最重要的约会
刚刚提到的你自己设置的那段时间应该是你一天当中最最重要的。有很多约会我们都必须赴约：定期身体检查、重要会议等，对于这样的场合，你会想尽一切办法出席，并且一定不会迟到。要是有什么突发情况，你都会说“对不起，我要去医院，几个小时之内我不能接听工作电话。”而当轮到我们和自己约定的时候，我们却经常因为这样那样的事情而推迟。不要让这种事情发生。你自己和自己约定的那段时间应该是神圣不可侵犯的，绝对不要把它孤立起来。
第九：让别人知道你是认真的
让别人知道某个时间是你的个人时间，让尽量多的人知道你的目标，知道那段时间是神圣不能侵犯的。写下你的目标，尽量让它具体点。如果你都不能够写出来，那证明你根本是不是认真的。接下来定个计划，具体到时间和事件。把所有一切可能的障碍考虑进来，写下你克服障碍的对策。这样才足以证明你是严肃认真的。
第十：找出你的时间杀手
在每一个人的生命当汇总，都有很多事情是可以轻而易举的放弃而不会带来任何影响的,那就是那些浪费我们时间又不给我们带来任何好处的事情。比如说看电视、打游戏、上网、泡吧，等等。如果你能找出这些时间杀手，你就可以找出时间来实现你的目标。记住，任何事情，只要不属于你列出来的那四五件事之一，你就可以消除掉。
第十一：每天或者每周朝着你的目标挪进一步
把你的目标定在较长的一段时间是很重要很有帮助的。如果，你的目标一个星期就可以实现，那你就不要走这一步了，但是，一些远大的目标和理想总是需要很长的时间，要实现那些目标，你得让它们成为你日常生活中不可或缺的一部分。
有些目标需要每天都坚持，比如，喝水、做运动、甚至打扫。在你的日常生活当中找出一点时间来做这些事情，千万不要让自己忘记或错过。把它们安排在你已经习以为常的事情之后，比如，刚洗完澡、刷完牙、进办公室后，这样你就一定不会忘记。而对于一些目标，周计划可能会更有效，比如说，每周攒点钱或者还贷款，每周参加一次瑜伽课，把这些周计划要写在你的日历上，给自己设个行程提醒，这样你就不会忘记。
“尝试着别给自己留后路。哦，不是尝试着，没有试不试，一旦开始，千万别给自己留后路。” ------ 尤达 摘自《星球大战之帝国反击战》