赞美时，你该说……
1.赞美行为而非个人。
举例来说，如果对方是厨师，千万不要说：「你真是了不起的厨师。」他心里知道有更多厨师比他还优秀。但如果你告诉他，你一星期有一半的时间会到他的餐厅吃饭，这就是非常高明的恭维。
2.透过第三者表达赞美。
如果对方是经由他人间接听到你的称赞，比你直接告诉本人更多了一份惊喜。相反地，如果是批评对方，千万不要透过第三者告诉当事人，避免加油添醋。
3.客套话也要说得恰到好处。
客气话是表示你的恭敬和感激，所以要适可而止。有人替你做了一点点小事，你只要说「谢谢。」、「对不起，这件事麻烦你了。」至于「才疏学浅，请阁下多多指教。」这种缺乏感情的客套话，就可以免了。
4.面对别人的称赞，说声谢谢就好。
一般人被称赞时，多半会回答「还好！」或是以笑容带过。与其这样，不如坦率接受并直接跟对方说谢谢。有时候对方称赞我们的服饰或某样东西，如果你说：「这只是便宜货！」反而会让对方尴尬。
5.有欣赏竞争对手的雅量。
当你的对手或讨厌的人被称赞时，不要急着说：「可是……」，就算你不认同对方，表面上还是要说：「是啊，他很努力。」显示自己的雅量。
批评时，绝不要……
6.批评也要看关系。
忠言未必逆耳，即便你是好意，对方也未必会领情，甚至误解你的好意。除非你和对方有一定的交情或信任基础，否则不要随意提出批评。
7.批评也可以很悦耳。
比较容易让人接受的说法是：「关于你的……，我有些想法，或许你可以听听看。」
8.时间点很重要。
千万不要在星期一早上，几乎多数人都会有「星期一忧郁」的症状。另外也不要在星期五下班前，以免破坏对方周末休假的心情。
9.注意场合。
不要当着外人的面批评自己的朋友或同事，这些话私底下关起门来说就好。
10.同时提出建议。
提出批评之外，还应该提供正面的改进建议，才可以让你的批评更有说服力。
回话时，要小心……
11.避免不该说出口的回答。
像是：「不对吧，应该是……」这种话显得你故意在找碴。另外，我们也常说：「听说……」，感觉就像是你道听涂说得来的消息，有失得体。
12.别回答「果然没错！」
这是很糟的说法，当对方听到这种响应时，心中难免会想：「你是不是明知故问啊？」所以只要附和说：「是的！」
13.改掉一无是处的口头禅。
每个人说话都有习惯的口头禅，但会容易让人产生反感。例如：「你懂我的意思吗？」、「你清楚吗？」、「基本上……」、「老实说……」。
14.去除不必要的「杂音」。
有些人每一句话最后习惯加上「啊」等语助词，像是「就是说啊」、「当然啦」，在比较正式的场合，就会显得不够庄重稳重。
15.别问对方「你的公司是做什么的？」
你在一场活动遇到某个人，他自我介绍时说自己在某家公司工作。千万别问：「你公司是做什么的？」这项活动也许正是他们公司举办的，你要是不知道就尴尬了。也不要说：「听说你们做得很好！」因为对方可能这季业绩掉了3成。你应该说：「你在公司担任什么职务？」如果不知道对方的职业就别问，因为有可能他没工作。
16.别问不熟的人「为什么？」
如果彼此交情不够，问对方「为什么？」有时会有责问、探人隐私的意味。例如，「你为什么那样做？」、「你为什么做这个决定？」这些问题都要避免。
做面子，给别人……
17.别以为每个人都认识你。
碰到曾经见过面，但认识不深的人时，绝不要说：「你还记得我吗？」万一对方想不起来，就尴尬了。最好的方法还是先自我介绍：「你好，我是×××，真高兴又见面了。」
18.拒绝也可以不失礼。
用餐时，若主人推荐你吃某样你不想吃的东西，可以说：「对不起，我没办法吃这道菜，不过我会多吃一点××。」让对方感受到你是真心喜欢并感谢他们准备的食物。如果吃饱了，可以说：「这些菜真好吃，要不是吃饱了，真想再多吃一点。」
19.不要表现出自己比对方厉害。
在社交场合交谈时，如果有人说他刚刚去了纽约1星期，就不要说上次你去了1个月，这样会破坏对方谈话的兴致。还不如顺着对方的话，分享你对纽约的感觉和喜爱。
20.不要纠正别人的错误。
不要过于鸡婆地纠正别人的发音、文法或事实，不仅会让对方觉得不好意思，同时也显得你很爱表现。
21.不懂不要装懂。
如果你对谈话的主题不了解，就坦白地说：「这问题我不清楚。」别人也不会继续为难你。如果不懂还要装懂，更容易说错话。
看脸色，别冲动……
22.掌握1秒钟原则。
听完别人的谈话时，在回答之前，先停顿1秒钟，代表你刚刚有在仔细聆听，若是随即回话，会让人感觉你好像早就等着随时打断对方。
23.听到没有说出口的。
当你在倾听某人说话时，听到的只是对方知道、并且愿意告诉你的。除了倾听，我们还必须「观察」。他的行为举止如何？从事什么工作？如何分配时间与金钱？
24.时间点对了，什么都对。
当你有事要找同事或主管讨论时，应该根据自己问题的重要与否，选择对的时机。假若是为个人琐事，就不要在他正埋头思考时打扰。如果不知道对方何时有空，不妨先写信给他。
去尴尬，有方法……
25.微笑拒绝回答私人问题。
如果被人问到不想回答的私人问题或让你不舒服的问题，可以微笑地跟对方说：「这个问题我没办法回答。」既不会给对方难堪，又能守住你的底线。
26.拐弯抹角回绝。
许多社交场合，喝酒总是无法避免。不要直接说：「我不喝酒。」扫大家的兴。不如幽默地说：「我比较擅长为大家倒酒。」
27.先报上自己大名。
忘记对方的名字，就当作是正式场合，向对方介绍自己的名字或拿出名片，对方也会顺势报上自己的大名和名片，免除了叫不出对方姓名的窘境。
28.不当八卦传声筒。
当一群人聊起某人的八卦或传言时，不要随便应声附和，因为只要说出口的话，必定会传到当事人耳中。最好的方法就是不表明自己的立场，只要说：「你说的部份我不太清楚。」
29.下达「送客令」。
如果你觉得时间差不多该结束谈话或送客，但对方似乎完全没有要起身离开的意思，可以说：「不好意思，我得打通电话，时间可能有点久……」，或是：「今天真的很谢谢你来……」。你也可以不经意地看看自己的手表，让对方知道该走了。
30.让对方觉得他很重要。
如果向前辈请求帮忙，可以说：「因为我很信任你，所以想找你商量……」让对方感到自己备受尊敬。
评部属，要恰当……
主管如何和部属沟通，才能说得恰到好处又不伤关系？资诚企业管理顾问公司进行内部教育训练时，教导新手主管5项沟通守则。
31.直接描述现状。
和部属意见不同时，不要直接批评，而要说明不同点在哪。
32.寻求解决。
如果部属绩效不佳，应该要询问他可以如何解决，不要采取威胁态度。
33.主动表达帮忙。
如果一时之间无法解决部属的问题，不要说「这种事先不要来烦我」，而是告诉他「我知道有谁可以帮忙」。
34.说话语气要平等。
主管切忌说「我有十几年的经验，听我的就对了。」比较好的说法是：「这方法我用过，而且很有效，你要不要试试看？」
35.弹性接纳部属意见。
即使你心有定见，也不要对部属说：「这些建议都考虑过了，不必再多说。」还是应该给部属机会，对他说：「关于这个问题，我已有了腹案，不过仍想听听你的看法。」
译文:
How to speak properly
When you are praising, you will say......
1.Praise the behavior instead of the person。
For example, if one is a chef, you can not say: "You're a great cook." He knows there are cooks who are more excellent than himself in the world. But if you tell him that you will have half the time in a week to go to his restaurant for dinner, you are making a very smart compliment.
2.Expressing your praise indirectly。
That people heard your praise indirectly is more surprising than that they hear your praise directly. On the contrary, you should criticize the other person directly to avoid a third party to embellish the truth with ideas of his own.
3.Use courtesy to the point。
Because courtesy expresses your reverence and gratitude, you would use it with limits. Someone did a favor for you; you just said “thanks." "I'm sorry, I bring troubles to you." instead of "I'm lack of talent and learning, please give us your advice kindly." you avoid this kind courtesy lack of feelings.
4. facing other people's praise“thank you”is enough
When people face praise, most will answer "that’s all right!" Or smile over. They had better to accept praise frankly and said “thank you” directly. Sometimes the other praises our costumes or something else, if you said "This is a just gewgaw!" you would make him embarrass.
5.Have the magnanimity to appreciate your competitors。
When your opponent or a menace gets praise, you do not run a hurry to say "But ... ...." Even if you do not agree with each other, you also say seemingly, "ah yes, he worked very hard." to show your magnanimity.
Never do these when you criticize......
6.Criticism also depends on the relationship。
“Advice when most needed is least heeded.” It is not always right. Even if you are well-intentioned, the other may not appreciate, and even misunderstand your kindness. Unless you are intimate or trustful enough, you can not criticize as you like.
7. Criticism can also be very pleasant。
Words that are more easily acceptable are those “I have some ideas about you ..., perhaps you can listen to me."
8.It is very important to choose a good day。
You can not criticize somebody on Monday morning because most people have "Monday depression" symptoms; you also can not do this before others leave the office on Friday for others' feelings of weekend.
9.Pay a attention to occasions。
Do not to criticize your friends or colleagues in the presence of outsiders. Some words are showed in private
10.Give suggestions and criticisms at one time。
Except for criticisms, we should also give positive suggestions for improvement to make your criticisms more convincing.
When you answer, you should be careful......
11.Avoid the unsuitable answers.
For example, "No, it should be ... ..." it seems that you are picking flaws. In addition, we often say, “I have heard ... ...” which feels like you heard on the streets and are told on the roads, without being proper.
12.Do not answer "Yes, indeed!"
This is a bad saying. When the other people hear this response, they will inevitably think, "are you asking questions like you already know?" just say, “Yes!"
13. Remove useless a catchphrase.
That people are accustomed to speak a catchphrase, but it will easily brings resentments. Such as: "You know what I mean?", "are you clearly?", "Basically ...”, "To be honest ... ...."
14. Removal of unnecessary "noise."。
Some people used to add "ah" or other expletives to the end of each sentence, like "that is to say, ah," "Of course". At more formal occasions, it would not be prudent enough.
15. Do not ask the other “what does your company do?"
At an event you encounter a certain person introducing himself that he owns a job at a company. Do not ask, "What does the company do?" this activity may be organized by his company. If you do not know, you will be embarrassed. Do not say: "I have heard you have done a good job!" It is probably that the other’s quarter results fell down 30％. You should say: "What are you responsible for in the company?" If you do not know the other's career, do not ask him. Probably he does not have a job.
16.Do not ask the people who are unfamiliar with,"Why?"
you are not familiar enough with each other and you ask "Why?" Sometimes it seems that you are asking the issues of privacy. For example, "Why did you do that?", or "Why did you decide to do this?" These questions should be avoided.
Make faces for someone else......
17.Do not think that everyone knows you.
When you the people you have met once but have no in-depth knowledge of, you never say, "Do you still remember me?” if the other can not remember, you will be on an embarrassing position. The best way is to introduce yourself, "Hi, I × × ×, it is really happy to meet you."
18. Refuse politely.
If the host recommends you eat something you do not want to eat at meals, you can say: "I am sorry; I prefer that one to this one." Let the host feels you are sincere and thankful for their food in preparation. If you are full, you can say, "These dishes are really delicious; if I am not full, I really want more."
19.Do not demonstrate you are more formidable than the other.
In conversation at social occasions, if someone says that he just has gone to New York one week, do not to say you once have gone there a month, which would spoil the other. You had better follow the other and share your feelings and love to New York.
20. Do not correct the mistakes of others.
Do not be over-correcting to other people's pronunciation, grammar or saying. It not only will make the other feel embarrassed, but also show you are a show-off.
21.Do not pretend to be understandable.
If you do not understand the topic of conversation, you can frankly say, “I do not know this question." Others will not continue to embarrass you. If you pretend to be understandable, you will be more easily to say something wrong.
Look on other’s faces, do not be impulse......
22. Grasp the principle of one second.
After listening to other people's conversation, make a one-second pause before you answer to show you are listening carefully. If you give a immediately reply, you will be though as that you have waited for a long time to interrupt others.
23. Listen and get the implied meaning.
When you listen to someone, you get only what speaker knows that and what he is willing to tell you. Except for listening, we must also be an "observer." How is his behavior? What kind of work he is doing? How to allocate time and money?
24.The time is right, everything is right.
When you are looking for colleagues or director to discuss for something, the question should be important enough to be asked immediately. You should select the right time. If the question is trivial, do not disturb others at the time he was working hard. If you do not know what time is available, maybe you can write a letter at first.
There are ways to get rid of embarrassment......
25.Refused to answer private questions with a smile.
If you are asked to answer private questions or uncomfortable questions, you can smile and say to others, "I cannot answer my questions." It will not embarrass others and you hold the baseline at the same time.
26.Beat around the bush to reject.
On lots of social occasions, alcohol is always unavoidable. Do not say directly, "I do not drink." to spoil others. You had better say humorously: "I am more adept at pouring for you."
27. Introduce yourself firstly.
When you forget other's name, introduce yourselves to others and take out your business cards as formal occasions; others will also tell their names and show business cards to you. It can eliminate the embarrassment you cannot recognized them.
28.Do not be a gossip speaker。
When a group of people chat about gossips or rumors, you can not go along. Once words are spoken out of mouth, they will reach the ears of the party’s. The best way is to make clear your position, just say " I am not quite sure what you are saying."
29. Show someone the back door.
If you feel that time is suitable to put an end to a talk or see a visitor out, the other does not want to leave. You can say "I am sorry, I have to take a phone, and it may last a bit long ... ..." or “Today thanks for your coming... .... “You can also inadvertently take a look at your own watch to show the other it is time for leave.
30.Let the other feel that he is very important.
If you ask the older generation for help, you can say “I have great trust in you, so I come to discuss with you." Let him feel that you show respect to him.
Make comments on subordinates appropriately......
How to communicate between the director and his subordinates in order to put it right without causing adverse effects to the relationship? Consultancy firm of Zicheng enterprise on management conduct an internal education and training, and it gives 5 rules for the green hand on communication.
31. Describe of the status quo directly.
When you disagree with your subordinates, you do not make a criticism directly, but show differences among you.
32.To find a solution。
If the performance of subordinates is poor, you should know how they solve the problems but not take the threat of attitude.
33.Take the initiative to offer a help.
If you can not solve the problem of subordinates at once, you can not say "you can not disturb me with those cases right now." but told them "I know who can help you."
34.Talk equally.
Director must not say "I have experience for ten years; it is enough to listen to me." There is a better saying “I have used this method and it works well .Do you want to try?"
35.Be flexible to accept the views of subordinates. 。
Even if you have made a decision on the heart, you can not say to his subordinates like “These proposals are considered, and it has no needs to say any more." You should give the opportunity to subordinates and say“I have had some ideas about this issue, but I still want to listen to your opinions.”