The holidays are a time of celebration for many — good food, lots of parties, gift-giving, family and friends, — but they can also be a time of mass consumption and hyper-consumerism.
I think with all the stresses of this season, and the expectations of our society, we often feel that we must give expensive gifts and throw lavish parties and cook up incredible amounts of food and drink — let’s admit it — what can only be called an unhealthy amount of alcohol.
It’s easy, with all this going on, to forget the true spirit of this season.
Recently I had a talk with my kids about how we shouldn’t think the holidays are all about getting gifts. How we should try to find other ways to celebrate, and get more into the spirit of giving. I’ve been reflecting on this a lot recently, and while none of this is anything original, I thought I’d share a few of my thoughts in hopes that it can keep things a little more sane for some people — and a little more joyful as well.
A Time for Gratitude
For those of us in the U.S., this is Thanksgiving week. That often becomes a day of overeating more than anything else, but what I love about it is that I get to get together with my family. I see grandparents and parents, cousins and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews and half-siblings — people I see only intermittently throughout the year, not enough to be honest.
We get together and catch up and share our joys and sorrows. Yes, we overeat. But who among us can resist homemade pumpkin pie? It’s my favorite all-time dessert, actually. :)
But what should Thanksgiving really be about, besides family and friends? It’s about giving thanks, and too often this fades into the background of the holiday.
So I’d like to take a moment to give my thanks, briefly:
- I am deeply grateful for my wife, Eva, and my kids (Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle) … I love them all, overwhelmingly. I am grateful for my mom, Shannon, my dad, Joe, my sisters Katrina, Ana, Tiara, my brothers Joe, Brandon, Austin, and everyone else I’m lucky enough to call family.
- I am truly, truly grateful to all of you, my readers, for your continual encouragement on this blog, for making my dreams of doing something I’m passionate about come true, for making this job an incredibly fun and gratifying job. I am blessed to have all of you.
- I am blessed to be healthy, to have a great job, to have all my needs and desires fulfilled, to live a simple and joyful life.
What are you grateful for? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! Take time this week, and all through the holidays, to cultivate the gratitude habit. It can change your life.
A Time for Reflection
The holidays being at the end of the year, I also like to remember to take this time to reflect on my life, the year so far, and the direction I’m headed in. It’s a great time to take assessment, to adjust as needed, to figure out what you want to do in the upcoming year.
I like to use this time, also, to simplify my life. To remember what’s essential, to eliminate the non-essential.
It’s also a great time, as you’re simplifying, to get rid of clutter. I like to get rid of stuff that’s accumulated throughout the year — and even the best declutterers among us have this happen — and Eva and I also help the kids go through their closets to make room for the crazy amounts of stuff they’ll be getting in December.
A Time for Celebration
While I know many of you are not Christian, for those of us who celebrate Christmas this season is really about celebrating Christ, as well as all that he stands for. The rest of you, I know, have other reasons for celebrating, religious or not.
I think this act of celebration is important, because it helps us to remember what’s important, and brings joy into our lives. It spices up life, and who doesn’t need a little merry-making in their life?
I love the traditions that come along with this season. Yours may be different, of course, but these traditions become important, no matter how small. My mom always invites me and my sisters, for example, to come over to make Christmas cookies. The kids get involved and it’s so much fun!
There are lots of little traditions like this, from decorating the Christmas tree to kissing under the mistletoe to exchanging gifts that are a lot of fun. What are your traditions?
I think it’s important to find ways to celebrate without having to spend tons of money. Christmas and the other holidays you might celebrate are not about getting deeply into debt. And it doesn’t have to be that way — if your family usually spends a lot of money to celebrate the holidays, it might be a good time to have a talk and see if there are other ways that you can be merry without Visa or Mastercard.
Some ideas:
- Exchange home-made gifts or consummables.
- Go caroling.
- Volunteer for charity (see next section for more).
- Have a party with singing and dancing and games and food, but no gifts required.
- Get together to do a community project.
I’m sure you can think of many others.
A Time for Giving
Receiving gifts is always fun, of course, as is giving lots of gifts. But this season of giving doesn’t have to be about buying in order to give. You can make things, for example … or better yet, you can give in other ways:
- Volunteer for charity. We do this with our kids, from Salvation Army bell ringing (lots of fun because you sing carols and give people candy) to cooking and serving food for the homeless. It teaches the kids a lot about giving, and warms your heart to help others.
- Do something nice for people you love. Wash their car, do chores or errands for them, babysit so they can go on a date, cook them their favorite dish or treat, help them with a project.
- If you have a lot of money to burn (as it seems with all the spending we do!), give it to someone who needs it more. Donate to a good cause.
On Consumerism and All That Jazz
I’ve mentioned consumerism a few times now and I think I should say a few words about it. First, let me start by saying I am in no way immune from consumerism — I am a part of it just as much as anyone else, and so I criticize it from within the system, not from without.
What’s consumerism? Basically, equating happiness with material goods. Buying in order to bring happiness and solve problems. Spending more and more — and earning more and more to support the spending — in order to realize the dreams given to us by advertising and a consumerist society.
It’s good for the economy but bad for the individual. We end up in an endless cycle of spending and debt and working more and more, and end up with lives filled with goods but empty of meaning and happiness.
It gets to its worst point during the holidays — we become engaged in a consumerist frenzy that frankly scares me sometimes. Debt becomes a huge problem for a lot of people, and for what? So that people can end up with a mass of stuff they don’t need and often don’t really want. Even kids, who love getting gifts more than anyone else, don’t have time to play with all their new toys. They rip through the carefully-wrapped packages, take a quick look at their gift, and then move on to the next present. And here’s the kicker: they already have enough toys and gadgets! My kids have more than any kid should ever have (I didn’t buy all of it, in my shoddy defense), and they’re at the point when they’re really having to dig deep to think of things they want this Christmas. It’s too much.
So what’s the solution? Well the simple solution is to stop spending, to find other ways to give and to celebrate. But often that requires some changing of deeply-held traditions, and some uncomfortable discussions among families and friends. It means agreeing to do things differently, and perhaps being seen as a weirdo for doing so.
It can be done. We just need to realize that this season is not about buying stuff. It’s about celebrating, giving, spending time with family, reflecting, and gratitude.
译文:
感恩时刻
里欧.巴鲍特 著 （跟我点击 Twitter）
节假日是一个举办各类庆典活动的日子，这样的日子里充斥着美食，派对，赠礼，家庭和朋友聚会。但这也是一个大规模高消费的日子。
随着节假日各种压力的袭来和社会所期望的那样，我们总认为必须要送昂贵的礼品，举办奢侈华丽的派对并准备堆积如山的食物和饮料才符合节日的气氛。但我们不得不承认，那些所谓的饮料只不过是一些有害的酒精罢了。
在大势所趋下，人们轻易的就忘了节日的真正意义所在。
最近，我和我的孩子们进行了一次谈话。我和他们谈论怎样摆脱“节日就是收礼物”这样的观念，怎样换别的方法去庆祝节日并强调付出的精神。近来我考虑了很多这方面的东西，我也不是第一个想到这个问题的人，和大家分享我的一些想法，希望人们能对节日理智一些，同时也多些欢乐。
感恩的时刻
对于生活在美国的人来说，感恩节这周是暴饮暴食的绝好时期，但我喜欢感恩节是因为可以和家人团聚。大概我一年到头都见不到亲戚们几次，但感恩节我便可以见到祖父母，父母亲，兄弟姐妹，叔婶伯姨和许多的小外甥们。
我们聚在一起倾听他人，分享我们的喜怒哀乐。我们确实有过度饮食，但谁能抵挡自家做的南瓜派的诱惑呢？那的确是我最喜欢的甜点。:)
然而除了家人和朋友的聚会外，感恩节还应该是怎么样的呢？它应该是与感恩有关的，但喧嚣的节日气氛往往使人们把感恩远远的抛在了脑后。
因此我想借此机会简要地表达一下我的感谢：
- 我要对我的妻子伊娃和我的孩子们（克洛伊，贾斯廷，雷恩，迈亚，赛思和诺艾尔）表示深深的感谢… 我非常的爱你们。我很感激我的妈妈仙农爸爸乔，我的妹妹卡特里娜，安娜，提安拉和我的哥哥乔，布莱登，奥斯丁以及我所有的亲人，能和你们成为一家人我很幸福。
- 我真诚的感谢所有的读者，谢谢你们在博客里给我不断的鼓励和支持，使我能够继续做我喜欢的事，让我觉得这项工作充满乐趣和满足感，有你们的支持我很快乐。
- 感谢我能有一个健康的身体，称心的工作，衣食无忧，能够享受简单安逸的生活。
你要感谢什么呢？我很乐意听听你的想法！好好利用节日这周来培养你感恩的习惯吧，它可以改变你的生活哦
反思的时刻
感恩节后便是新年了，我同样想利用这个时间来回想下这一年来的生活以及我努力的方向。这是个对自己做评价，根据需要做出调整，打算好来年你想做什么的好时机。
我还想利用这段时间来理清我的生活，记住什么是必须的，剔除那些不重要没必须的。
随着你的清理，节日期间也成为你摆脱混乱状态的良机。我喜欢把堆积了一年的东西扔掉，哪怕是我们中间最好的管理者也难免要这么做，伊娃和我还帮助孩子们清理他们的壁橱，为他们12月将要收到的大批礼物腾出空间。
庆祝的时刻
然而我知道你们当中有许多人不是基督徒，我们当中的一些人庆祝圣诞节确实就是庆祝基督诞生以及和他相关的一切。
而其他人，我想或许是出于宗教抑或别的原因而庆祝圣诞的
我想这样的庆祝活动是重要的，因为它帮助我们铭记什么才是重要的，并给我们的生活带来快乐，它让我们的生活丰富多彩，难道有谁不希望他们的生活中有点欢乐吗?
我喜欢这个节日的传统，当然，你喜欢的或许和我不同，但不管这些传统多么细微它们都很重要。例如，我母亲经常邀请我和我的姊妹们过去一块做圣诞曲奇饼，这能使孩子们参其中并且乐趣无穷。
还有很多像这样的小传统，装饰圣诞树啦，槲寄生树下接吻啦，互相交换礼物啦这些都很有趣！你们的传统是什么呢？
我认为找到一种不铺张浪费的庆祝方式是相当重要的。你也不想因为庆祝圣诞和其他节日而负债累累吧。而且那也没必要—如果你的家人总是花费大量的钱财来过节，那你们最好借此机会谈谈，看看除了要刷爆你的威士信用卡和万事达信用卡外，还有没有什么别的比较节省的方法过节。
一些提议：
- 相互交换自制或实用的礼物
- 一起唱圣诞颂歌
- 做慈善志愿者（详见下一章节）
- 举办歌舞游戏派对，提供食物，但不另给礼物
- 聚在一起做一个团体计划
我肯定你们还能想到许多别的方案。
赠予的时刻
收到礼物总是很快乐的，当然了，送出礼物同样也很有趣。但是这个时候的赠予并不非得要买点什么。你可以制作东西，例如……或者用别的更好的方式赠予：
- 做慈善志愿者。我们可以与我们的孩子一起做，从扮演救世军摇铃（这会
- 因为你们唱颂歌，给人发放糖果而充满乐趣）到为那些无家可归的人做饭，给他们提供食物。这能教会孩子们懂得感恩，还能提醒你要保持一颗乐于助人的心。
- 为你爱的人做些事。帮他们洗车，做家务，或恭候他们的差使，充当临时保姆以便他们能继续约会，给他们做他们钟爱的菜色，帮他们做个计划。
- 如果你有一堆钱无处可花，（如果我们能做的就是花光它们）那就把它们给那些更需要的人吧。以一个好理由把它们捐赠出去。
论消费主义和诸如此类的东西
上面我几次提到消费主义，现在，我想我应该谈谈这方面。首先，我申明对消费主义全无免疫力——像很多人一样，我也是主张消费的一员，所以我不是以一个局外者而是以一个消费者的身份来看待它。
什么是消费主义？从本质上来说，等同于幸福源于物质。购物是为了带来幸福和解决问题。花销越大，就需要赚更多的钱来支持消费——这就符合了广告给我们灌输的顾客至上的消费型社会的美好憧憬。
这对促进经济是好的，对个人而言就不是了。我们最终陷入花钱，负债并为此不断工作的无尽循环中。于是我们的生活被商品填满，却唯独缺少意义和幸福。
我们沉迷于疯狂的消费中，节日时这种情况最严重，老实说有时我真被吓到了。负债变成许多人头痛的问题，人们这样做是为了什么？这使他们身边充斥着大堆他们并不需也不是他们想要的物品。甚至是孩子们，他们一心只想着收礼物，但他们根本没时间去把所有的新玩具一一玩遍。他们拆开包装精美的的礼品盒，迅速地扫一眼，便又开始拆另一个礼物。当然不乏有反对者说道，孩子们已经有足够多的玩具和小饰物了！我那些孩子的玩具比其他孩子的都要多（这些不全是我给他们买的，我拙劣的辩解道），当他们真正的深入思考这个圣诞节他们想要什么的时候，他们就会知道他们拥有的太多了。
那么该如何解决呢？最简单的方法就是停止消费，寻找其他方法去庆祝和付出。但这往往需要对根深蒂固的传统做一些改变，和家人，朋友探讨时可能会有些争议。这意味着要以不同的方式去做事，或许这还会使你看起来像个怪物。
这是可行的，只要我们意识到这并不是购物的节日，而是一个有关庆祝，付出，与家人团聚，反思和感恩的日子。