Dear Illinois,
Boy, you are just full of surprises. Your unpredictable weather: cold, cold, dreary, yucky, winter with foggy skies. Colorado is not nearly as cold as you, unless you are at high altitudes, like in the mountains. And what now, an earthquake? WTF, Illinois?
You never cease to amaze me. I love you, Illinois, but why do you do me like this? Why do you teaseee? Why, oh why, do you treat this Colorado boy so? After all I went through, after all I’ve been through, leaving everything in Colorado….. for you, for this?!
I was sleeping in my jammies at 4:37am when I was awakened by sounds of an angry poltergeist. The building started to creak and groan, the window glass rattled with great fervor, liquor bottles began to clink together jovially, my bed began to shake uncontrollably.
I lay in bed, still, motionless. Thoughts of Armageddon raced through my head. And, then, after about 10 seconds, it all stopped.
Illinois, corn queen, honey, what is your deal?
Why so moody? if our relationship is to work, you are going to have to be a hell of a lot more stable and a whole lot less cranky. Where is your shining sun, your clear dark skies? your warm, loving embrace? You and me, we can be great together, baby….we can be good. We can make this work. I know we can. I just ask this one thing: just stop being such a goddamn bee-yotch all the goddamn time, okay?
Love,
Your adoring Colorado-man,
Tony
译文:
乌云密布(天文学迷)
亲爱的伊诺丝：
孩子，也许你充满了惊讶，不可预测的天气：寒冷，寒冷，闷，令人讨厌的，有雾的冬天，科罗拉多远非你想象的那样冷，除非你在很高的海拔，比如在山区，现在是什么样子，地震？
你可以从不停止对我惊讶，我喜欢你，伊诺丝，但是为什么你对我这样，为什么？你也这样对待科罗拉多的男孩？毕竟我经历过，毕竟我到过，离开了科罗拉多的一切。为你，为这？
4点37分的时候，我穿着睡衣在睡觉，我被生气的怪声吵醒了，这房子开始不断地发出呻吟声，窗户玻璃发出巨大的咯咯声，装液体的玻璃瓶开始发出叮当声，我的床也开始无控制地震动起来。
我躺在床上，仍然无思想地，尽管我的头随时有危险，然而十秒之后，一切恢复正常了。
伊诺丝，成熟的公主，真诚的，你怎么样？
为什么情绪不稳定？如果我们的关系还需要维持，你需要更稳定的训练，少点好奇，你心中的太阳、黑暗的天空、温暖的拥抱在哪里？你和我，我们可以一起变得更好，我们可以做好来这工作，我知道我们能，我只想问一件事情，停止想一些坏透了事情，好吗？
爱你的人：你的尊敬的科罗拉多人
托尼