“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.” - Bill Watterson, Creator of Calvin and Hobbes.
People everywhere from the online entrepreneurs in Qatar to the shoe shines in Gary, Indiana, live in denial without even knowing it. I can't be referring to you, can I? If your gut feeling is, "
No way!", then as strange as it may sound you may actually be showing the first signs of living in denial.
Denial is something that anyone and everyone is susceptible to. While it won't kill you, it can certainly dampen your day, your job, and your life. Does that sound alarming? It most definitely should and, if you are starting to have doubts, here are 7 of the most important signs which can help you realize if you are living in denial or not:
- I Am Above Failure: So you think that you are somehow far too talented, hard-working or knowledgeable and that everything you touch will turn into gold? Sorry to burst your bubble there, but we humans are flawed by nature so that, my friend, I?m afraid that you may just be living in denial if you have such a way of thinking.
- It's Impossible to Take Me by Surprise: If you think that being taken by surprise is impossible if you have everything planned then I have one questions: how is life in that fantasy world of yours treating you? Yes, planning ahead is always recommended but thinking that you can actually be able to prepare for absolutely everything is just plain foolish on your part.
- If You Want Something Done Right, Do It Yourself: Do you think that others should never be trusted and do you think that, if you want something done right, you should do it yourself? Aren't you giving yourself just a little bit too much credit there? It may just be me, but you most definitely don't strike me as a person with his or her feet on the ground.
- I'm Never at Fault: Others are always at fault, aren't they? You keep doing everything right and they just ruin things for you, do they? Sorry to have to say this, but not assuming responsibility is one of the most obvious signs that you are living in denial.
- Everything Has an Excuse: "I'm not going to do this because..." "I would have done that, if not for..." Do you somehow manage to find excuses for everything? Good for you, maybe you will find someone who pays you for that, but for the time being, your attitude is yet another sign that you are simply living in a fantasy world.
- Everyone Else is Wrong: Are all of the people who don't agree with you clueless? Are they that ignorant, can't they understand your brilliance? I'm sorry but, if that's the way you see things, I am afraid that the problem lies elsewhere. One tip: it's not with everyone else.
- It's All One Big Conspiracy I Tell You: Does it seem that everyone and their dog is working against you? Are you just a poor innocent victim in what seems to be one huge conspiracy against you? In that case, have you considered getting some help? No, everyone is not conspiring against you, and it's about time you stopped living in denial and started seeing how things actually stand.
Give it a little thought. Do any of these apply to you?
Written by Alan Johnson, the author of The Online Business Handbook.
译文:
7种症状判断你是否患有“否定症”
“这不是否定，我只是有选择地接受一些现实罢了。”- 比尔•沃特森（卡尔文与霍布斯的创作者）
无论是卡塔尔的网络企业家，或是印第安纳加里市的擦鞋匠，患有“否定症”的人群比比皆是，而他们本身却混而不觉。“我不可能说起过你，我说起过你吗？”如果你的第一反应是“不可能”，那么尽管你会感到不可思议，但实际上你已经表现出了“否定症”的第一大症状。
“否定症”可以轻易地传染给任何人，甚至所有人都可能会患上“否定症”。然而这却不会致死，只会为你的日常生活及工作添上一抹阴霾。这是否已为你敲响警钟？如果你开始疑惑，那你确定、一定以及肯定需要看看以下7个典型症状来确定自己是否患有“否定症”。
1.自恋：如果你认为自己天赋异禀、勤奋异常或者学识渊博，甚至能够点石成金，那么很遗憾，你的美梦终将在此成为泡影。人无完人，因此，我的朋友，如果你拥有上述观点，那么你恐怕已经患上了“否定证”。
2.未雨绸缪，波澜不惊：如果你认为没有什么能出乎你的意料之外，一切都是那么按部就班，那我想请教：你理想中的生活到底是副什么模样？的确，人们总是会建议别人做事之前先作打算，但试想一下，能够把准备工作做到滴水不漏纯粹只是你荒唐的南柯一梦罢了。
3.亲力亲为，成败由己：你是否认为除了自己，任何人都不可信赖？如果你想做好一件事，你是否会亲力亲为？你是否有些太过于依赖你自己？即使我做事是如假包换的脚踏实地，也许在你眼里却未必如此。
4.错不在我：你是否觉得错的总是别人呢？你一直把事情做得仅仅有条，而他们却一个劲地把事情弄糟，给你添乱，是这样吗？很抱歉我不得不告诉你，逃避责任也是“否定症”的明显症状之一。
5.万事皆有其因果：“我不做这件事是因为……”“如果不是……我会做的”你总能千方百计为所有事都找到借口吗？这是好事，也许有人会专程雇你干这事，但就目前来看，你的态度则是你活在幻想世界里的另一证明。
6.众人皆醉我独醒：你是否觉得所有那些与你持有不同的观点的人都愚蠢不堪？是否觉得他们无知、并且不能理解你的才华？很可惜，如果你持有这样的观点，那恐怕问题的症结永远也解决不了。给你一个小建议：凡事不要一概而论。
7.树大招风，处处招人算计：你是否觉得所有人都在与你为敌？你是否觉得自己只是一场天大阴谋算计下的无辜受害者？如果这样，你是否曾经想过请求他人的帮助呢？其实你错了，没有人会算计你，现在是时候接受现实并且睁眼看看这真实的世界了。
花一点时间，仔细的想一想，以上这些建议是否能够帮到你呢？
——阿兰•约翰逊（《电子商务手册》的作者）
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文章由DLM的戴维•B•波尔提供，《减速三部曲》将带您来到理想生活的十字路口，并帮您找到人生的目标。