原文: How To Avoid That Inevitable Argument With Your Boss

For all the working professionals around the world who are employed in a company owned by someone else, most of the after-work gossip centers around one person - the boss. It's the person whom they report to and it's the boss' responsibility to ensure that they accomplish the tasks they are given, efficiently and productively.

The boss always has great expectations from the team and the team members always find it hard to live up to these expectations. Hence there comes a time when the employee and his boss enter into a heated argument over something, which ultimately results into the employee getting fired from his job. Although such arguments aren't unexpected, there are a lot of things which the employee can do to avoid turning minor arguments with the boss into a heated debate.

I am not talking about losing your self-respect or flattering your boss, but some sensible tactics which can ensure that you have an amicable relationship with your boss.

Observe
You can only predict the sudden changes in the behavior of a person if you have been observing them. Hence it's important to start observing your boss from day one and then decide the way you should approach and talk to them. If you find that he or she is an easygoing person who loves to talk a lot and be cheerful, then you can open up too and try to be friendly. However if he or she is a serious kind of a person who doesn't discuss anything with his team, then you should be careful and guarded while talking to them.

It's also important to observe the situations when your boss is very happy with something and the situations when he or she gets irritated and tends to lose their cool. It'll further give you an idea about different shades of their characteristics and likes and dislikes.

Whine less, Praise More
Most of us take a step back when it comes to taking the onus of a team failure and whine about other aspects like work atmosphere, limitations, etc. It's not a good idea to always whine about different things in front of your boss. It doesn't leave a good impression and further, it gives them an excuse to rebuke you when you fail to deliver on a personal project.

Also, you should take every opportunity to celebrate success with your boss and appreciate him for guiding you throughout. It's not flattering your boss, but praising him for his sincere efforts. However, if you praise your boss again and again, it doesn't leave a good impression with co-workers either.

Be careful while talking When you are discussing something with your boss in an informal manner, no matter how approachable and friendly he or she is, you shouldn't cross the line and say something which an employee should not say to his boss. This results in bad feelings and further affects your work and career growth.

Your boss might talk about things like a friend, but you shouldn't get carried away by that and start treating him like the guy next door.

Learn to listen
It's important to listen more and talk less, especially when your boss is talking. You should raise your point whenever required, but it shouldn't look like you are trying to be authoritative.

Also, you should realize that your boss can have bad days and might sometimes shout at you for no reason. Instead of immediately reacting to it and arguing with him, it may be better to stay quiet because ultimately they will realize the error in their ways and voluntarily apologize. However, this doesn't mean that you should keep quite when there is a pattern of verbal abuse or ignorance; protect your self-respect at all costs.

Perform
I think this is understood. If you don't slack and give a good performance then the chances of that heated argument with your boss further diminish. Your boss wouldn't want to get into an argument with you, because you are a performer and you are needed on the team.

Go that extra mile
Most of us have the impression that our bosses are good for nothing and they don't do any work. However, in reality most (not all) of them tend to do more work than their team members and work even after the normal office hours.

So why not go an extra mile and ask your boss if you can be of any help. Usually a clever boss will approach a team member to share the work load, thus giving the employee a chance to raise their status in the boss' eyes. But if you find your boss always working late then you can always take the initiative and approach him or her to share some of their work load.

I hope this help you to further strengthen your relationship with your boss and avoid that inevitable (as they say) argument with your boss, which might cost you your job.

-Abhijeet

译文: 如何避免与老板间“不可避免”的争执

      对于全世界受雇于别人公司的工作职员来说，大部分的业余闲聊都围绕一个人----老板。他们要对这个人汇报，而老板的职责是确保他们高效多产地完成所分配到的任务。

      老板对他的团队总有很高的期望，而团队成员却总觉得达到这些期望很难。因此当雇员和他的老板为某些事发生争执，这最终会导致雇员被解雇。尽管这样的争论不是突如其来的，雇员可以有很多办法来避免小争执转化为激烈的争论。

      我并不是说要放弃你的尊严或奉承你的老板，但一些合理的策略可以使你和你的老板保持友好的关系。

观察

      如果你注意观察，你会预料到一个人行为的突然改变。因此，从某一天开始观察你的老板从而决定你与他们接触和说话的方式很重要。如果你发现他或她是个随和、健谈又乐观的人，那你也可以畅所欲言并量表现得友好。然而如果他或她是个不与他的下属谈论的严肃的人，那么你与他们说话时应该谨慎小心且有所保留。

      观察你的老板因某些事开怀的情形以及他或她恼怒而且可能发脾气的情形是很重要的。这将进一步为你提供关于他们不同性格类型、喜好厌恶的信息。

少报怨，多称赞

      当讨论一个团队失败的责任所在和抱怨其他方面，如工作氛围、能力局限等的时候，我们多数人就会退缩。总在你的老板面前报怨各种事情并不是个好主意。这会给他们留下不好的印象，而且当你不能提交一个个人方案时，这会给他们借口以训斥你。

      还有，你应该把握每个机会和你的老板庆祝成功并感谢他一直来对你的指导。这并不是奉承你的老板而是称赞他的真诚努力。然而，如果你一次又一次地赞美你的老板，这也会给同事留下不好的印象。

说话时注意

      在你以正式的方式和你的老板讨论问题时，无论他或她多和蔼多友好，你都不应该越轨说些作为雇员不该对老板说的话。这会招致反感而且会影响你的工作和职业发展。

      也许你的老板说起话来像个朋友，但你不该被这冲昏头脑而开始像对待邻居一样对待他。

学会倾听

      多听少说很重要，尤其是在你的老板说话时。需要时你应该提出自己的观点，但不该表现得你像要显示权威。

      同时，你该知道你的老板可能情绪不佳有时还毫无缘由地对你大吼大叫。与其立刻反应与他争执不如保持缄默，因为他们最终会意识到他们行为的错误而主动道歉。然而，这不意味着受到言语侮辱或粗暴时你该保持沉默，要不惜代价维护自己的尊严。

表现

      我想这很明白。如果你不偷懒表现好，那你和老板发生激烈争执的可能性将会更小。你的老板不会想与你发生争执，因为你是个称职的人，是团队所需要的。

上前一步

      我们大多数人都有这样一个想法：我们的老板一无所长而且无所事事，然而实际上他们当中多数人（尽管不是所有）干的工作往往比他们的团队成员要多并且会加班加点地干。因此，何不上前一步询问老板你是否能帮上忙呢。通常一个聪明的老板会亲近下属以分担他的工作重担，因而给了职员一个提升其在老板眼里地位的机会。但如果你发现你的老板总是工作到很晚，你可以表现得主动并靠近他或她来分担他们的工作。

      我希望这些能帮助你进一步加强你和老板的关系，避免和老板间那些所谓“不无避免”的争执，要知道，那会赔上你的工作。

      -Abhijeet