The swim suit in question (You don't think I'd model it do you?!) This is starting to look like Ebay....
Okay, the last time I wore a bathing suit with a built in skirt was when I was sporting maternity clothes....and I really was pregnant not just fat. Now, I'm just the latter. This is what I've been reduced to ladies: tankinis with matching sarongs. I never used to be embarrassed about my body but I really think I'm developing a body dysmorphic disorder. I'm only a size 10 and I don't think that is really that huge. I say only a size 10 because I read somewhere that the size of the average American woman is 16. (I love reading articles like that, I can never remember who was buried in Grants tomb but facts like those I never forget.)
Any way, as I was saying......my mother purchased (I think that made it worse) a swimming skirt for me for my birthday. It was a real wake up call. I'll never forget when my husband wryly asked if I packed my 'Swimming Frock' when we were heading out to Nantucket. I felt like saying, "Go ahead, have an affair I'm tired of you already!" As soon as Lily goes back to school (Tuesday), I'm going to sign up for kick boxing classes. So the next time my husband makes a crack like that I'll just have to drop kick his ass.
I recently went to Jenny Craig. They told me their program was going to cost $750 plus the cost of food. The woman asked me, "Realistically, how much do you hope to lose on Jenny Craig?" I replied, "$750 plus the cost of food."
译文:
固定连衣裙泳衣
这是件倍受关注的游泳衣，你认为我不会来穿它，是吗？！这看上去就像易趣。
好的，上次我穿有固定裙子的泳衣是我还需要穿孕妇装的时候。但我怀孕的时候并不是很胖。但是现在，我却越来越胖了。所以我现在只能穿有匹配的围裙的比基尼这类女装了。我从来不会为我的体型感到尴尬，但是我真的觉得我的体型变得越来越畸形了。我只要穿10号，但是我并不觉得我真的要穿那么大号。我说我“只要”穿10号是因为在一些地方美国女性的平均尺码是16号。（我喜欢读那些文章，我不会记得谁埋在GRANTS墓里，但这些我却记得牢牢的）
不管怎么样，正如我所说，更糟的是，我妈妈买了件带裙子的泳衣给我作为生日礼物。那确实是个警钟。我一直记得，当我们要去南塔基特岛时，我丈夫挖苦我是否把我的游泳连衣裙带好了。我感觉他好象在说，你去吧，我已经厌倦你了。Lily星期二一回学校，我就准备去报名搏击拳课程。所以下次如果我丈夫再拿我开玩笑，我就可以狠狠的打他屁股。
我最近去了克格雷公司（美国减肥计划和食品供应商）。他们告诉我，他们的项目需要750美元，还不包括食品费。公司小姐问我，“老实说，你希望在我们公司瘦掉（消耗）多少？”我回答到，“750美元，还不包括食品费。”