Since I was off today and my wife had to work, I decided to swing by and bring her to lunch. We had a good time, as we usually do, and after I brought her back to work I thought about how lucky I am to have such a good woman. But then again, maybe it's not so much luck after all. Frankly, I've put quite a bit of effort into my marriage over the years and I believe I've earned the treatment I receive.
So it may be time to share with you the benefit of my experience. Here are a few things I've learned that will keep things smoother around the house and cut down on the number of “marital moments” you'll have to endure.
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Flowers
I know it seems cliché, but flowers really are a great way to get her in a good mood. There is however, a right way and a wrong way to do this. Don't send her flowers when she's mad at you. I know it's tempting to go to the supermarket and stare at the case of roses with the other husbands because you think it's a quick get-out-of-jail-free card, but it's not. If you train your wife to get flowers when you screw up, you'll never be able to do it any other time because she'll assume you've done something wrong. Just give her a bunch of daisies or carnations for no reason whatsoever and it'll make her day. Here's another free tip: flowers at home are good, but flowers at work are better. That way she gets to show off to her friends. -
Take Her Shopping
I know it's painful. Trust me, I would rather bang a nail into my forehead than go shopping with my wife. I do it though, because she appreciates it and if she's happy, I'm happy. But you can't make it look like torture. It'll be difficult, but if you seem like you don't mind, the payoff will be great. -
Open Your Eyes
When she changes her hair, or her nails, or her shoes, she expects you to notice. Compliment her on whatever it is. Even if you don't love it. Especially if it's her hair, because now that she's gotten that perm, there's nothing she can do about it for at least a few weeks. No reason to make her self-conscious about it. It'll just screw up your sex life and nobody needs that. -
Show Some Affection
Tell her you love her. Hold her hand. Don't be embarrassed to do it in public, either. Life is too short to worry about that stuff anyway. -
Breakfast in Bed is Never a Bad Idea
I like to make her a small omelet, toast, a bit of fruit cocktail in a bowl, and some coffee. Carry it to her on a tray with a flower and she may not make it through it all before she's ready to show her appreciation. A quiet, romantic dinner often has similar results. -
Kiss Her More
Every morning before I go to work, I kiss my wife goodbye. She's always knocked out when I go, but she always gets a kiss. I always assumed she had no idea I was doing that, but one day I was in a hurry and left without kissing her, and when I got home she asked me why. -
There's Something She Wants You to Do
Maybe a few somethings. My wife wanted me to quit smoking. She was on me all the time about it, and we argued frequently. It took a few years but eventually I just got tired of fighting about it and I quit. She was so happy I did this for her that I started getting some slack about a few other things. If I'd known how much easier my life would get, I'd have quit a long time ago. Maybe you don't smoke, but I'll bet there's something she wants you to change. Whatever it is, it probably wouldn't kill you. -
The In-Laws
She undoubtedly likes her family more than you do. Try to tolerate her mom, okay? Be nice to her sisters. -
Does Your Wife Need to Lose a Few Pounds?
You don't need to tell her. Trust me, she already knows. Pointing out her obvious shortcomings will cause unnecessary tension and she'll be less likely to let your deficiencies go unmentioned. A good woman with flaws is an awful lot better than a perfect witch. -
The Small Things
The best things in a marriage are often the smallest things. She brings you coffee in your favorite cup or makes a good meal, or does a great job with the kids every day. Let her know that you notice. It'll make a big difference in her day.
Of course, this list isn't going to lessen the burdens of a seriously troubled marriage. My intention is simply to help keep day-to-day life from stifling a good relationship. Show your wife that she's still your girlfriend and it can't help but improve your marriage. Remember, it's not a simple formula. It will always take effort but you'll get much more than you give.
译文:
婚姻幸福美满10个小贴士
今天我不用上班，但我妻子得工作，因此我决定去看一下她，顺便带她去吃个午饭。就像平时一样，我们度过了一个愉快的中午，在送她回去工作之后，我就觉得，人生得此娇妻足矣。但再想一下，就觉得人生并不可能那么幸运。坦白说，这些年我为我们的婚姻付出了许多，正是这些换来了我们的幸福美满。
我想，是时候和你们分享幸福美满婚姻生活的秘诀了。以下这些贴士就可以让你的生活变得更加和谐，也能减少夫妻间小吵小闹的次数。
送她鲜花
我知道这有些老掉牙，但鲜花确实能让她心情大好。当然了，送鲜花也得选时机。如果她正对你发火，别送。我知道，为了快点解决麻烦，你一定会迫不及待跑进超市和别的丈夫一起选购玫瑰，但这并不能让你早日脱身。如果你总是在你做错事的时候送花的话，会让她觉得你又犯错了，而且在别的时候也送不了花了。你只要平时的时候时不时的送她一束雏菊或者康乃馨，不管什么理由，她就会无比快乐。顺便说一声，在家里送花自然是好的，但如果送花到她公司的话她会更开心。那样的话她就可以向她的朋友炫耀了。
陪她逛街购物
我知道这很痛苦。我发誓，我宁可把钉子钉进脑袋里也不愿陪她逛街购物，但是我还是在陪她逛街买东西。因为她喜欢购物，而且只要她高兴，我就开心。但你千万别表现出痛苦的样子。我知道这样很难，但如果你装作无所谓的样子的话，结果定会出人意料。
张大你的眼睛
当她改变了发型，涂了指甲油，又或者穿了新鞋时，她希望你能够注意到这些变化。不管怎么样，恭维她，即使你并不喜欢。尤其是当她烫了发，你更不能表现出厌恶的样子，因为烫发在几个星期里是无法改变的。别让她意识你的不喜欢，这会扰乱了你们的性生活，没人希望这样。
表示你的爱心
告诉她你爱她。握住她的手，即使是公共场所也别觉得不好意思。生命本来就很短暂，何必顾虑这些小事呢。
在床上吃早饭也未尝不可
我喜欢给她做些鸡蛋卷、土司、水果什锦，再弄一杯咖啡。用托盘端着送到她跟前。在她吃完之前，她一定对你感激涕零。一次安静、浪漫的用餐也能促进你们夫妻间的感情。
常亲亲她
我每天早晨去上班前，我都会亲吻她，然后说再见。虽然大多数时候她还在睡梦中，但我还是亲她。我想我亲她的时候她是不知道的。但是有天早上我因为太匆忙而忘了亲她，她立刻起来问我为什么没亲她。
尽量答应她的要求
总会有一些要求的。比如说我妻子就让我戒烟。她总是劝我戒烟，而我们也经常为此事而争执。这持续了好几年，最后我因为厌烦了争吵而戒了烟。她很高兴我能戒烟，而她也因此在别的方面对我放松了许多。如果我知道生活会变得如此的舒适，那我早就戒了。也许你不吸烟，但我知道肯定有她想让你改变的地方。不管它是什么，但至少不会让你活不下去。
处理好岳母家的关系
毫无疑问，她当然比你更爱她的家人了。记住对她的母亲要忍耐，对她的姐妹要亲切。
你的妻子需要瘦身吗
这点并不需要你告诉她，因为她会比你更清楚。直接指出她的缺点只会造成你们关系的紧张，而且她也不会再对的缺点视而不见。一个有缺点的好女人固然可怕，但总比一个完美的女巫好多了。
注意细节
婚姻里最美好的事情也是生活中最微不足道的细节。小事很小，可以是她用你最喜欢的杯子为你泡了一杯咖啡，也可以是做了一顿美味可口的饭菜，或者每天都和孩子玩得很开心。你要让她知道，这些你都看在眼里。这会对婚姻幸福非常重要。
当然了，这些建议并不能真正拯救那些已经陷入严重危机的婚姻。我的目的只是希望能维护一种正常的生活以避免夫妻关系陷入僵局。告诉你的妻子她仍是你的女朋友，这没什么，只会进一步增进了你们的夫妻关系。记住，这不是一个简单的公式，而是需要你不断的付出努力，而你则能从中得到比你付出更多的东西。