Image courtesy of Ana Santos
Two words that get bandied about a lot in the personal development sphere are “change” and “growth”. You’ve probably noticed, for instance, that this blog is called “The Change Blog”, and that Peter describes in his personal mission statement a commitment to maintaining a “personal growth blog”.
It’s tempting to use “change” and “growth” in a woolly sort of way, meaning “living a better life”, but in fact, they’re quite different concepts:
What’s Change?
Change Often Means a Turn-Around
When you talk about changing your life, you might mean going back to college, moving to a new city (or country), or starting a family.
Change Can Be A One-Off Event
Some changes happen suddenly, like losing your job. The effects will change the days, weeks and months to come … but the change itself is relatively sudden and self-contained.
Change Can Be Externally Imposed
Not all changes are ones you choose. In fact, many might come from the outside. Some of these will be negative changes (eg. the death of a relative), some might seem like negative changes but later become positive ones (eg. becoming a father). Either way, knowing how to manage change is important for making the best of these times.
What’s Growth?
Growth Takes Time
Whilst a change can happen overnight (whether it’s a paradigm shift in the way you think, or an external change like becoming a mother/father) … growth always takes time. You can’t become an expert in a day, or completely shed all your old bad habits in a week.
Growth Is An Incremental Process
When you’re growing, you’re moving steadily in one direction. This could mean gradually becoming a better parent; consistently working towards a promotion or career shift; getting a degree or other qualification.
Growth Needs Motivation
While changes can come from the outside, growth always comes from within you. Other people might support, help and encourage you – but ultimately, you have to want to grow. It takes energy and effort on a long-term basis … which means you need to keep up your motivation.
Do You Need Change or Growth?
At some times in our life, we may need to face up to big, radical changes. These can sometimes be painful to endure or even to contemplate … but on the other side lies a better life.
Other times, we’re pretty much on track – we just need to keep going onwards, rather than getting complacent. This is when growth is called for. It can be a big mistake to assume that whenever things aren’t perfect, you need to change … sometimes, you just need to keep on in the same direction?
So which situation are you in and how can you figure out whether you need change or growth? For me, the best way to distinguish between the two is to consider whether the situation you’re in could get better if you applied some thought and effort. If you feel that there’s no realistic hope for it ever improving, it might be time for a radical change. This is especially so if your current actions are making the situation worse.
Here’s an example that might have come up for you in the past (or which might arise in the future): you’re considering leaving your current job.
CHANGE might be required if:
-
- You got the first job you could find out of college, and you’ve never felt passionate about it
- Your health (mental or physical) is suffering because of your job
- You’ve found a passion which, if only you’d known about it years ago, you’d have followed as a career.
GROWTH might be required if:
-
- You know the work your company does is important, but your role is getting boring
- You’re finding it hard to get on with your colleagues
- You’d like to step up to the next level, within the same company
You can look at other situations in a similar way. Think about your finances: do you need to make radical changes (like cutting up your credit cards?) or do you simply need to grow (by learning more about financial topics, and by slowly increasing how much you save each month?) Or what about your relationship with your partner: if you’re having problems, is this because change is needed (such as a separation, or a complete turn-around in how you relate to one another) or do you need to grow (by gradually seeking to become more patient, loving and understanding)?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer in matters of personal development, and one person may need to change fundamentally where another just needs to grow in a particular area. What are the big changes that you’ve made in the past – or that you know you need to make now? Where have you seen steady and incremental growth in your life?
About the author: Ali is a postgraduate student and professional writer. She runs Alpha Student (grab the RSS feed), a blog which aims to help students get the most of their time at university.
译文:
变化与成长 - 你需要哪一个
Image courtesy of Ana Santos
关于个人发展最常被提到的两个词就是“变化”和“成长”。或许你已经注意到了，这个博客的名字叫“变化”，在他的个人目标宣言里，彼得称将致力于写一个“个人成长”博客。
这里“变化”和“成长”用得有些模棱两可，意指“过上更好的生活”。然而，实际上它们是两个相当不同的概念
什么是变化？
变化通常意味着转变
当你说起生活中的变化的时候，你是指回到大学，搬到一个新的城市或国家，或是开始一个新的家庭。
变化可以是一瞬间的事
有些变化是突然发生的，比如说丢掉你的工作。结果会影响到接下来的几天，几个星期甚至几个月，但变化本身是相对突然的，独立的。
变化可以是外力强加的
并不是所有的变化都是你自己选择的。事实上，许多变化都来自于外在力量。有些是负面变化（例如亲人的死亡),有些变化看似负面但将来会变成正面的（例如成为一个父亲），不管怎样，知道怎么处理变化对于妥善应对这些事件至关重要。
什么是成长？
成长需要时间
虽然变化可以朝夕之间一蹴而就（不管它是你意料中的模式变化，亦或像是成为一个母亲/父亲之类的外部变化），成长永远都需要时间。你不可能一天就变成一个专家，也不可能在一个星期内完全改掉过去的坏习惯。
成长是一个前进的过程
成长时，你在持续向一个方向前进。也许是渐渐成为一个好父母，也许是朝着升迁或职业生涯的转变不断努力，又或是获得学位和其它资格证明。
成长需要动力
虽然变化可以来自外部力量，成长永远都来自于内在。别人或许会支持、帮助和鼓励你，但最根本的是你必须想要成长。它需要长时间的精神和努力，也就意味着你要保有动力。
你需要变化还是成长？
生命中有些时候，我们会面临翻天覆地的变化。这些变化难以承受，即便只是想起也会疼痛不已。但是跨过了这些变化就是更美好的生活。
有些时候，我们又一帆风顺–我们要做只是不要自满，一直前进。这时就需要成长。认为只要事情不够完美你就得变化，你就大错特错了。有时候，你只需要坚持向一个方向前进。
那么，你处于哪种状况呢？你怎么知道你需要的是变化还是成长？我认为，区别两者的最好办法是审度你所处的局势是否会因你的想法和努力而改善。如果你认为改善无望，或许是时候来一次彻底的变化了。若是你的现在措施让事情更糟的话，就更要变一变了。
你在以前或将来会遇到这样一个例子：你在考虑离开现在的工作。
这时候你需要变化：
- 这是你出大学校门的第一份工作，而你对它再也没有热情了。
- 因为工作，你遭受到折磨（精神和肉体上的）。
- 你找到了一个爱好。如果你在许久以前就知道它的话，你会把它当作一份事业。
这时候你则需要成长：
-
- 公司的工作很重要，但你在其中的角色变得无聊。
- 你发现很难和同事相处。
- 你想在这个公司里更上一层楼。
其它情况也是一样的。想想你的财产状况：你是需要根本的变化（比如说剪掉你的信用卡？）还是只要成长（学多一点关于理财的东西，慢慢增加你每个月的存款）就行了？再想想你和合伙人之间的关系:你们之间的问题是需要变化（比如分开，或是完全改变你们对待彼此的方式）还是成长（慢慢变得更耐心，温柔和体贴）？
关于个人发展没有一刀切的答案。在相同的境地下，一个人需要根本地变化，而另一个人却需要在某个方面成长。过去你曾做过什么巨大的改变？现在你要做的又是什么？ 你生命中的哪部分是稳定而连续的成长？
关于作者：阿里，研究生和职业作家。她写作了一个名为“学生生活ABC”（获取RSS源）的博客，旨在帮助大学生最大化利用他们的时间。