原文: Dr. P's 2008 Top 10 Back-To-School Tips

"BACK TO SCHOOL" - 3 words certain to fill your children's hearts with despair and yours with joy. As an annual rite of passage, it's a good time to take stock: How can you help your kids to make this school year academically productive, socially fulfilling, and safe as can be?

Here, in no particular order, are my top 10 suggestions. Feel free to share your own.

1. Get organized! Plaster a monthly/yearly school calendar on the refrigerator to highlight upcoming events, deadlines, etc. Figure out and agree on morning routines: when to get up, bathroom rules and time, getting dressed, eating a decent breakfast, etc. in a "no nagging required" environment.

2. Talk things over. Arrange a "planned discussion" with each of your kids to talk about academic goals for this year. Is there anything she is particularly anxious about? Be sure you include your expectations for performance - just make sure they are appropriate (if perhaps a tad high) and fair, linked to his/her talents and potential. If she's a brainiac, then good grades are reasonable to expect. If an average student, don't set the bar so high she is sure to fail. Remind her that what you really expect is for her to try hard and do her best, no matter what her final grades may be. Discuss expectations for completing homework. Construct positive (hopefully) self-fulfilling prophecies about the year. Reassure her that a lot of kids are anxious at the first day of school, but you know she'll handle this just fine, as she usually does. Remind her about the good things that happened last year.

3. Talk some more. What are his/her social goals? Is he looking to make new friends? How might he best accomplish that? What might be some of the social challenges this year? Ask about what's important for social status in school this year (it changes on a dime). What kind of clothes, shoes, backpacks, hair styles are in? It's important to give this some sort of adult perspective but - make no mistake - social status is very important to all of us and your kids are no exception. So don't belittle their feelings and desire to fit in, rather help them to achieve that within the values and aesthetics and monetary constraints of your family. Allow him/her to pick his/her own school supplies and clothes, but within an agreed-upon budget and your veto power in extreme circumstances (like too-sexy clothing). Click on the above image to read the very funny Onion parody of necessary school supplies.


4. Discuss and rehearse walking to school safety. Have your child walk (with or without adult supervision, depending on his age) to school if possible. It's great low-tech exercise and a wonderful time to socialize with friends in the great outdoors. Find a couple of reliable pals to walk with each day. Review pedestrian safety. Take a rehearsal walk or two, noting potential dangers along the way. Find a direct, safe route with the maximum crossing guard support. Be sure she always crosses at a crosswalk (or at least a corner). Be sure she understands to look for a green light and walk sign. Be sure she knows to stop at the curb, look left and then right and then left again (unless you're British), and listen while crossing all streets. Beware parked cars or other obstacles blocking vision of the street.

5. Go over appropriate response to strangers. Role play: What if a nice stranger came up to you and asked to help him to look for his poor, sad, missing dog? What if he offers you a ride on a rainy day? How about some candy, little girl? Does it matter what he or she looks like? You don't want to make your kids abduction-fearful, just stranger-wise.

6. If your child is taking a bus, the biggest danger is getting on and off. Go for a bus ride together and show him how to wait at the curb 10 giant steps away from the bus for the driver to stop, how to be in clear view of the driver at all times (don't walk behind the bus!), how to be very careful and make sure all oncoming cars have stopped and the driver has signaled it OK to cross. Be sure to pick a safe spot in the neighborhood for boarding and exiting the bus. Go over your expectations for conduct on the bus. Encourage him to feel safe to discuss any bad experiences on the bus (like bullying or teasing).


7. Don't overdo the weight in the backpack! Don't let your child tote more than 10-15% of his/her body weight in the backpack. Encourage him/her to wear both shoulder straps (to evenly distribute the weight) and to keep the straps tight, so the weight rests against the mid and lower back. Buy a lightweight (but of course, very cool-looking) backpack with padded shoulders, padded back and waist strap so that the bottom of the pack sits a few inches above the back of the waist. Teach your child to pack the heaviest items in the center. Encourage him/her to lighten the load in the school locker during the day. In a pinch, rolling backpacks are catching on (but are tough in the snow).

8. Go over potential bullying experiences with your child. Remind him this happens, but is mean and unacceptable and not to be encouraged. Tell him/her if it happens to talk, walk and squawk. TALK: tell the bully you don't like what s/he has done and that it isn't nice or fair, and WALK: Walk away. Bullies like victims who are passive and come back for more, and SQUAWK: Tell the teachers or parents. Bullies prefer kids who keep silent so they can go about their nasty business without consequences. As a parent, get the school involved in teaching about bullying.


9. Mention the unmentionable: toileting in school (if you don't who will?). For a surprising number of kids this is the most anxiety-provoking part of the school day. In great discomfort, they'll hold it all in rather than face what might await them in the bathroom. Remind them you expect them to ask to go in school whenever they need to go, and to tell the teacher or you if there are any problems in the bathroom. Role play what they might do if someone makes fun of them or offers a cigarette (or worse) in the bathroom.


10 . Whoops, can't think of a #10, so I'll resort to my usual:

译文: 开学了！P博士给你10条金点子！

“开学了”-这三字是所有家长都满心期待的，但是却能让孩子们绝望。一年一度，该是时候让我们写一篇文章讨论一系列问题了：比如如何帮助你的孩子在这一学年中即学业有成，又不乏社交，同时又能保证个人安全。
在这里是我的十条建议，无主次之分。如果您愿意，也可以与我们分享您宝贵的建议。

1. 要有一定的计划。在冰箱上贴一张月校历或是年校历，用来提醒一些临近的重要活动时间及内容等。制定好每天早上的行程：比如何时起床，浴室适合条件及时间，要着装整齐，要吃有营养的早餐等等，并且这些都必须在不需要催促的情况下完成。大家都要对这种规定达成一致。
2. 要与你的孩子沟通。试着有计划的和你的孩子聊一聊这一年的学业目标。比如他们会不会有什么特别紧张的地方？记住对他们的表现提出你的期望，当然要根据他/她的天赋潜力，提出合适公平的期望。如果她天资聪明，那当然希望她有优异的成绩。如果她只是成绩平平的学生，就不要把目标定的过高，否则她必定会挫败。你要时时提醒她，你只想看到她真的尽了自己最大的努力就够了，最后的成绩并不重要。你要你的孩子知道至少要完成作业。帮他树立一种积极的思想，让他感觉他可以靠自己达到这些期望。你要给孩子信心，时时提醒她前一年发生了多少美好的事情，告诉她虽然很多孩子在开学第一天都很紧张，但是你相信她可以像以往一样处理的很好。

3. 进一步了解。他/她的社交目标是什么？他是不是想要交新朋友？他将怎样尽自己最大的努力去达到他的目标？在这一年里什么可能是他在社交方面的障碍？试图去了解在这一年中什么对于他的社会地位特别重要？（也许一美分可以改变很多）。比如什么是现今流行的服饰，鞋子，背包或是发型？有的时候为了不让他们犯错，从成人的角度给予意见是必要的，但是社会地位对于我们和我们的孩子都非常的重要。所以不要小瞧他们对于时尚的感觉，还有他们强烈想要融入社会的欲望。我们所要做的就是在价值观，美学观还有家庭经济条件允许的条件下，帮助孩子们达成他们的梦想。试着让孩子们自己选择在学校里需要的物品和衣服，但是必须在规定的预算内，在极度不合适的时候你也有提出异议的权利（比如太过性感暴露的衣服）。点击左上图，你可以了解更多有趣的有关学校必要物品的信息。


4. 讨论并预练怎样安全步行去学校。尽可能的让孩子自己步行去学校（根据孩子的年龄决定是否需要成人的陪同）。对于孩子来说，他们可以和朋友们社交，技术含量低但是不失为一次很好的户外活动。试着演习式的走一两次，注意沿路可能存在的危险。找一条最短最安全的道路且尽可能在十字路口有交通协管员。当然提醒孩子在过马路的时候要走人行横道线（或者至少在十字路口的转角处）。确保她知道绿灯才能过马路，过马路前要先在路边停下来，左望一次，右看一次，再左望一次（如果你是英国人，那就换一下方向），过马路的时候还要注意听车子的喇叭。注意停在路边的车辆又或者是影响视线不能看清街道情况的障碍物。

6. 如果你的孩子是坐车来回学校的，最危险的莫过于上下车了。你应该尝试和孩子一起乘一次车，演示给他看，当车进站的时候，他应该离路沿10大步远以便司机好停车。要时时在司机的视野范围内（千万不要走在公车的后面）;要小心谨慎，确保靠近的车辆都停下来了，司机示意可以过了，才能过马路；在住宅区附近找一个安全的地方上下车。在车上演示的时候就是对孩子再一次的提醒注意事项。要鼓励孩子说出车上遇到的糟糕的遭遇（像是被欺负或是取笑）。


7. 别在孩子的背包里塞太多的东西。别让你孩子背包里的东西超过他体重的10%-15%。鼓励他/她多背双肩包（这样可以平衡两肩的受力）同时收紧肩带，这样重量就会落在背的中下部。买一个小型轻量级的背包（当然时尚的外观也是必要的），这个背包最好能有加厚保护的肩带，背包的背部也有双重的保护，还有腰带，这样的话背包就可以在固定在腰部以上几英寸的地方。记得告诉孩子如果物品很重，就要背在中部。在白天上课时，就把背包中的东西寄存在学校的存物箱中，以减轻背包的重量。在必要的时候，可以在地上滚自己的背包。（但是在雪地中可能就比较困难了）

8. 和孩子们一起想象可能被欺负的情况。告诉他们这个有时会发生，但是这不是一件好事，并不能被大家所接受，他也不被鼓励去做这样的事。如果真的发生了，他所要做的就是告知，走开和反抗。告知：就是告诉欺负你的人，你并不喜欢他所做的事，那些事并不友好也不公平；走开：就是走的远远的。欺凌弱小的人通常喜欢那些比较被动的人，对于这样的人他们会一而再，再而三的欺负他；抗议：告诉老师或者是家长。因为那些势强凌弱的人更希望那些保持沉默的孩子，这样他们就可以毫无忌惮的继续他们肮脏的行为。作为一名家长，就希望学校能教一下有关如何处理被欺负的问题。


9. 要提一提不能启齿的事。学校的厕所（你只字不提，还有谁能提）。在学校里，对于一大批孩子来说，厕所是最不愿提及的地方。为了不看到厕所狼藉的样子，他们宁愿忍一天，宁愿那样的不舒适折磨他们。你要告诉孩子们，他们应该在有需要的时候去厕所，如果厕所有任何的问题，应该及时的反映给老师。同时演示给他们看，如果在厕所里有人戏弄他们，亦或是给他们递烟，他们应该怎么办。


10 . 天啊~实在想不出第10条了，所以我将用我的老手法了：