你思考和感受生活的方式，包括你对自己能力的信心和期望，决定了你做的每一件事。在这个世界上，你唯一可以完全控制的就是你的思想!你可以自己决定想些什么。你的想法及你理解每件事情的方式会让你产生积极的或是消极的感受。你的思想和感受会影响你的行动，进而决定你会取得什么样的成果。总之，所有事情都源于你的思想。
你重视哪种情绪，哪种情绪就会占据主导地位。如果你想从伤心，郁闷中摆脱出来，你就要拒绝去想相关的人或事，这些不开心的人或事最终会从你的生活中消失，就像没有燃料后火会自然消失一样。比如经历一段失败的感情，我们往往会感到情绪低落，深受伤害，这样的状态会持续一段时间，然后会慢慢恢复过来，几年之后再回首往事，我们很难想像自己当时怎么会那样“拔不出来”。因为我们没有继续滋养那份不开心的感情，所以那种感觉就慢慢地完全消失了。
我们都不愿消极情绪来左右我们，而消极情绪有四个来源：
1.找借口：对自己所做的事，不管事实如何，总对自己说别人对你多么不公正。每次想起不开心的人或事，就会生气，感觉自己有权利生气，感觉自己很无辜。事实是，生活中总会接连不断的出现问题，麻烦，挫折和暂时的失败。这些都是正常的，自然的，都是成长过程中不可避免的。无论发生什么，生活总要继续。
2.依赖：过度依赖某人或某事。把不好的结果看成是对个人的侮辱，攻击，，如果深陷于这种情绪中不能自拔，就会导致情绪很消极。而要获得沉着和冷静，在情感上要把自己与环境分开来，也就是解脱。
3.自我审视：如果你过分关注别人对待你的方式，就会在别人没有给你应该有的尊敬时感到受了侮辱。如果别人对你很粗鲁或冷漠，，你会认为他们的行为是对你的人格和性格的攻击。这样理解他们的态度和行为，你会感到很气愤，因而情绪低落。心理学家认为，我们所做的每一件事都在肯定自我价值，如果你不够自信，你会对他人的行为和反应非常敏感。你会很在意别人，好像他们的所说，所做都是在有意识地针对你，但事实并非如此。而奇怪的是，有很多人因为害怕别人的白眼，而改变了自己的决定。他们勉强维持着不幸的婚姻，从事着不喜欢的工作，因为害怕别人的指责而错失了商机。但是，事实是没有人比你更关注你的重大人生决定。一个成熟的人会知道自己是谁，不是谁，不必希望总能得到别人的认可，他也考虑别人的意见，但作决定的人还是他们自己。
4.责备别人：责备别人会让你产生愤怒的情绪，这是一种最糟糕的情绪。
解决消极情绪最有效的办法就是学会原谅别人。宽恕别人就是解脱自己。
有四种人你一定要原谅。首先是你的父母，无论他们有过怎样的过错，都要原谅他们，不要对他们抱怨，要感激他们给予了你生命。其次是曾经和你有过亲密关系的人，无论怎样，都希望对方一切都好，原谅对方对你造成的伤害。第三要原谅曾经伤害过你的人。最后要原谅的人是你自己。原谅自己犯的每个错误，不要让这些已经过去的错误围绕着你。过去的就让它过去，让一切从现在开始！
译文:
Change your mind and change your life
The way you think and feeling about your life which includes your confidence and expectation about your ability has decided every move you'll take.In this world,what you can only take control is your mind!you can decide your mind.Your thought and the way you understand everything will make you have a positive or negative feeling.Your though and feelings will have an infulence on your action and then play an important role in what kind of achievement you will get.All in all,everythings originates from your thought.
If you put emphasis on one emotion,which will play a leading role.If you want to get rid of sadness and oppresiveness,you should refuse to think of concerning persons or matters,which make you unhappy will finally disappear from your life and just like the fuel will disappear after burning.For instance,we often feel under weather and hurted after experiencing a failing love,and such situation will last for some time then we will be better.After several years when we look back ,then it will be hard for us to understand why we did like that.Cause we didn't continue to think over that unhappy love,so the unhappy feeling would disappear gradually.
we are all unwilling to be entangled with the negative feelings,but such negative feeling has four reasons:
The first one is seeking excuse.we always think we are unfairly treated about whatever we have done.Every time we will be mad and fell innocent while thinking of the unhappy things.Actually,the continuous problems,troubles frustrations and temporary fail are hard to avoid appearing in our lives.That's all natural and unadvoiable in the process of growing.whatever happens,life will continue.
The second one is reliance.Dependend too much on someone or something.Treating the bad outcoming as a shame and attack.If you are trapped in such kind of emotion,you'll be negative easily.We should get compusure and calmness,and seprate ourselves from the condition in the aspect of mood,which is disengagement.
The third one is self-inspection.If you put too much attention to what others think of you,you'll feel shamed when the others don't show deserable repect.If you're treated with rudeness and indifference,which will be thought as an attack on your personality and characteristic.Such kind of thought will make you feel very mad and then unhappy.The psychologists think whatever we did is relizing our self-value.If you're not confident enough,you'll be very sensitive about the other's actions and reactions.You'll put much emphasis on others.Strangly,a lot of people changed their decisions because of other people.They're reluctant to lead the unhappy marriage and work on the job they really dislike and miss the chace in fear of others' condemination.But no one is important than you to make your big decision.A mature one can decide himself without caring what kind of recognization or advice they will get.they just decide themselves.
The last one is blaming the others.Blaming others will make you rageous and which is the most awful feeling.
The most effecient way of getting rid of negative mood is learning to forgive others.Forgiving is just like disengagement.
There are four kind of people you have to forgive.Above all,Your parents.whatever mistakes they have made,you should forgive them without complaint.you should appreciate them for giving the birth of you.Second ones are the persons who you have intimate relationship.however,you hope each other will be all right,and both hope you can forgive the hurt you've brought.the second one are the persons who have hurt you before.The last one is yourself.Forgive every mistake you've made,and don't be enwinded with the passing history.Let by-gone by by-gone,and start from now!