Whether you choose to have sex or not, it is important to talk about it. We normally think that sex is supposed to be physically safe only; we do not consider the safety of our emotions in sexual relationships. As much as we try to be physically safe when involved in sex, we should also try to consider our emotions by looking out for risk factors in advance and safeguarding ourselves, our partners and those around us from needless hurt and harm.
There are some problems which need to be dealt with for you to prevent emotional hurt in a sexual relationship. Lies, secrecy and dishonesty which surround more sexual activities as a taboo in our culture really affects the sexual relationship with our partners. This can cause shame and regret. In addition sex that is performed under great secrecy can lead to more risks that could be avoided if it were to be honest. Sex that’s performed under great secrecy can lead to more risks that could be avoided if it were to be honest. Such risks include not setting emotional limits and boundaries, taking chances by not using birth control or sex measures and by putting friendship or other people’s feelings at risk.
Unsuitable relationship models and unsuitable partners can also lead to unhealthy emotional relationship. This can occur when we involve ourselves with a person who has a partner as well as when we have relationships with a partner with whom we have nothing in common and hence you cannot assert yourself strongly. Agreeing in a relationship model or rules that you know you can’t stay with can also affect us emotionally. We should therefore be more careful when choosing partners and relationship models.
There are rough times to be experienced in any of our relationships. During such times sex can sometimes feel like a real comfort which can sometimes help us from thinking about the problem. So during this time, it’s better to talk about your sex life together with your partners in order for us to come to an agreement on what might be best for a given situation.
Sexual intercourse always involves some risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. You could also make the sexual experience with your partner safer by being honest with your feelings, discussing sex and birth control measures and whether you want to have sex or not. Avoid drug abuse which could influence your decision making rendering you unable to state your stand in regard to use of contraceptives that can prevent both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Respect your partner’s decisions always. In the company of friends or when you go out, be prepared for sex emergency by carrying a condom. Practice abstinence when in doubt, which is the most effective way of protecting against sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.
Sometimes, there are some visible situations you can base on whether to have sex or not rather than depending on your partner’s willingness. There are a few physical signs that can be seen on your partner if they aren’t forthcoming with information like red sores, blisters near the genital or rectum or mouth sores. Also, make sexual health a priority by having regular check-ups to be sure that you are healthy.
译文:
如何与你的同伴谈论健康的性爱
谈论性爱是非常重要的，无论你是隔岸远观还是亲身实践。我们通常认为性爱只会在身理上存在安全性，而不考虑在两性关系中双方情绪的安全性。在享受性爱是我们竭尽全力做好安全措施，同时也应该注意到我们的情感，预先留心隐患，从而保护我们自己，保护我们的父母以及我们周围的亲友免受无尽的痛苦和伤害。
你需要知道处理一些问题以免在两性关系中情感受到伤害。作为一种文化禁忌，围绕着众多性爱行为的谎言、秘密和不忠确实影响着我们和同伴的两性关系，这将会给双方带来羞耻感和内疚悔过。并且，一些有违公序良俗的性关系会导致不良后果，而如果多点真诚的话这些是可以避免的。这些不良后果包括纵欲过度、没有节制，不使用安全避孕措施而抱着侥幸心理，以及拿友谊或者其他人的感情当玩笑。
不恰当的相处模式和不适合的伴侣也会导致不健康的情绪。在下面两种情况中会产生不健康的情绪：我们陷入一个有伴侣的人的感情中不可自拔，或者双方保持两性关系但是没有共同语言，因此你无法清楚强硬地表达自己。身处于一个关系模式中或者遵循双方的共同约定，但是其实你无法身处其中或者你无法按约定行事，这同样回影响我们的情感。因此，当我们选择伴侣或者双方相处模式时要分外谨慎。
两人的生活中总会经历些摩擦和冲突，在这种时候性爱就会给你真正的舒缓，有时能帮助我们思考问题。因此在这段时期，和你的伴侣谈谈性生活，想想对已经发生的情况做最适当的处理，两人达成一致同意，这是最好不过的。
性爱常常会伴随怀孕的风险或者性病传播的问题。你也可以和你的伴侣享受健康安全的性爱，无论你想与不想性爱，忠实于你的感觉，商讨性爱以及避孕的方法。不要吸毒，这会影响到你的大脑判断，使你无法坚持立场以致无法采取避孕措施，这样就可以预防怀孕和性病传播。永远尊重你伴侣的决定；当你出门或和朋友在一起时，随身带避孕套以免不急之需。当你对对方心存疙瘩时，请节欲，这是避免性病感染和怀孕的最佳方法。
有时，遇到一些显而意见的问题，你应该基于自己想性爱与否作出选择而不是取决于伴侣的意愿。你也可以从你伴侣的体征上看出他不想性爱，比如生殖器和直肠周围的红疮或者口疮。同时，享受健康的性爱的首要前提是做定期检查来确保自己身体健康。