Ah, break ups. Don’t we all want to skip this part of the whole dating scene? It almost always leave a bitter taste in the mouth. Bad memories. Hurt. Bad Blood. AND, very rarely, friends.
Dating and relationships are all good when two people are still working on making things work but when the time comes that things get sour and they’re just seemingly too caught up to properly end things — salvage the friendship, at least — the break up process may just turn real bad.
Personally, I’m really bad at handling break ups (as if I’ve been through many, eh?) that’s probably why I hardly talk about them. Twas a great thing to have come across this article which sparked up an idea that I couldn’t have been able to communicate to you guys as effectively.
“Believe it or not, most bad breakups are preventable, given two things: 1) Both parties grasp that there’s a difference between expectations and reality, and 2) The person whose reality defies the other person’s expectations is honest about the discord. The ideal exit strategy is actually quite simple: Be honest, courteous and resolute. This requires a great deal of courage, but so does dating, and if we can muster enough guts for the purposes of initiating something, doesn’t it only make sense that we scrounge up enough to end what we started in the same way?” (Source: thehoya.com)
I guess, one of the things I’ve learned over time is it’s never worth staying in a relationship that will only pull you down, making you miss experiencing the prime of your life. Another is that bad break ups can actually ruin your perspective on things, which can also be a reason for you to miss certain things in life just because you failed to see the glass half full. So, wouldn’t you agree that it’s better to go about ending things in an amicable manner? Like what was said in the article (though paraphrased), were you not mature enough to enter into a relationship that ending it in the same manner is something that can be expected of you?
I guess this is something we all should think about. Any additional thoughts?
译文:
你需要的是一个好的“撤退”计划（约会游戏）
啊，分手啦。难道我们不想跳过整个约会场景中的这一幕吗？它让你嘴里感觉苦苦的。不好的记忆。受伤。不好的人。还有，很少的朋友。
当两个人一起努力让事情起作用，约会和关系总是好的，但当事情变糟糕的那一刻到来时，约会和关系看上去是越想去挽回反而会结束感情——至少拯救友谊——分手的过程可能会很糟糕。
个人而言，我对于处理好分手这种事的确很差劲（似乎我已经历过很多次了，对吧？）这很可能就是我不大想谈起它们的原因。看到了这篇文章真的太好了，它激发了我思想的火花，这是我本不能有效的和你们交流的。
“信不信由你，大多数不好的分手是可以预防的，有以下两种情况：1）双方都坚持期望与现实之间是有差别的2）一方的现实违背了另一方所期待的，是对不合适的如实坦白。理想的“撤退”计划实际上很简单：诚实，彬彬有礼，果断。这需要很大的勇气，但约会也是一样的，如果我们积聚足够的胆量去开始一些事，那鼓起足够的勇气用同样的方式去结束我们所开始的事不也说地通嘛！（来源：thehoya.com）
我想，经过这些时间我学到的一件事就是：如果一段关系让你萎靡不振，让你失去机会去经历生命的鼎盛期，那么它不值得去维持。另外，不好的分手事实上会损坏你对一些事的看法，这也是一个你错过生活中某些事情的原因，只是因为你无法看到玻璃杯是半满的。所以，你难道不同意用友善的行为去结束事情是更好的吗？正如文章中所说（尽管解述过），开始一段关系后，在期待用同样的方法去结束上，你是否还不够成熟呢？
我想这是我们都需要思考的事。还有其他想法吗？