The child may act the class clown. The child may prefer to hang out with the adults. The child likely uses phrases, innuendo, jokes or sarcasm heard from others, but uses them inappropriately, at the wrong time, with the wrong persons. The child has a poor sense of boundaries, will interrupt, walk in on others or take or use things without asking. The child may have few friends and those the child does have are similar in nature. The child may be frequently scolded or punished. The child struggles at school and may be bullied. This child likely has a learning disability affecting social skills.
Just as there are learning disabilities that interfere with academic performance, there are learning disabilities that interfere with acquiring and utilizing social behaviour that enable us to get along well and fit in with others.
Children with learning disabilities affecting social skills have difficulty reading the social cues of others. They may not recognize emotional facial expressions or body language that gives clues to guide social behaviour. As such a child with this learning disability may not appreciate when they have insulted, upset or frustrated another person. If they cannot recognize the facial expression, then they are at a loss for modulating their own behaviour in response. Hence they may carry on with offensive or inappropriate behaviour, not recognizing their impact. As such, they may be considered rude, offensive or odd.
Further, not only does the child have difficulty reading the social cues of others, the child likely has difficulty viewing his or her own behaviour accurately. Hence just as they cannot read the reactions of others, they have difficulty gauging their own behaviour. When confronted on their behaviour, they are likely to blame the other person as the source of conflict or upset.
This kind of learning disability does not have to be severe to handicap a child. Even minor problems with social skills are enough to set them apart from their peers and undermine relationships. It is not that they are poorly behaved per se, but that their behaviour and social interactions, the result of their problem causes them to seem odd or out of place. These kids don’t seem to fit in.
The diagnosis of a learning disability affecting social skills is best made by a psychologist, who at the same time would likely test for other academic learning disabilities as these issues often go hand in hand. Just as children require special methods of instruction to overcome academic learning disabilities, so too do they need a special approach to manage the impact of a learning disability affecting social skills.
In normal social situations, we take turns talking and let the other person finish what they have to say. When relating to a child with this learning disability, we may have to interrupt them if their conversation is inappropriate. The key though is not to demean or punish, but to directly inform that what is being said is inappropriate and then, importantly, redirect the child to appropriate conversation. Further, as these children are likely to copy or imitate the social behaviour of those around them, but apply those behaviours inappropriately, then those around the child must be aware of their own behaviour as a role model to the child. This may require a change in behaviour for parents and siblings as they learn to understand and manage the child’s learning disability. A family meeting with the psychologist or a social worker to explain the disorder and required changes can help family members adjust. This in turn will benefit the child with the problem. More specific interventions can include special classes to address the child’s ability to read the social cues of others and modulate their own behaviour in response.
译文:
我的奇怪小孩
某些孩子爱好嬉闹，喜欢与大人一起瞎混， 喜欢从别人那里学来的一些词句，讽刺语、玩笑话，然后不合时宜，不分场合的用在不对的人身上。他们通常不懂轻重会打扰别人，甚至不问自取。 几乎没有什么朋友，这些儿童在性格上非常相似。他们经常被责备或惩罚。在学校，打架斗殴恃强凌弱，这一群儿童似乎在生活能力学习上有一点障碍。
就如他们在学业上不行一样，在学习及运用与人相处的社会行为方面，也存在障碍
这些障碍体现在他们读不懂别人对于某件事的暗示或是潜台词。他们可能也不懂某些情绪化的表情和肢体语言所表示的社会行为。 这些存在生活能力学习障碍的孩子在受到别人羞辱或是打击时会很不高兴，如果他们不会看出那些面部表情所暗示的事情，那么也就不能相应地调整自己的行为做出回应。 因此可能会做出某些唐突或不合适的反应，并不明其后果。然后 别人会认为他们粗鲁，唐突并且古怪
而且，这些孩子不止读不动别人的暗示，甚至对自身的行为也不能完全理解。 就像他们不能理解别人的反应一样，对自身的行为也无法做出正确的判断。 一旦出现矛盾或遭遇失败，他们通常会责备他人而不是自身。
这种学习障碍对儿童不利，生活能力一点微小的不足也足以使他们与同龄人不和群。 并不是他们自身表现古怪，而是他们行为与社会互动带来的后果使他们看起来古怪，不和群。他们适应能力不足
一位心理学家对与这种生活能力学习障碍提出了很好的治疗办法，同时他也想对连带产生的另一种学业方面学习障碍做一些测试。 就像孩子需要特殊的指导方法来解决学业学习障碍一样，生活能力学习障碍也需要特别的解决办法。
在正常的社会环境里，我们轮流发言并让其他人完成他们的讲话。 但对于对此有学习障碍的儿童，如果谈话很不合适，我们可能不得不打断他们。 关键并不在于贬低他们或惩罚他们，而是告诉他们话题不合适且引导他们往正确的方向走。还有，儿童喜欢模仿他们周围常能接触到的社会行为并且乱用， 那么他们周围的人必须认识自己的行为会给孩子们起到模范作用，这样就要求父母们兄弟姐妹们做出改变。 与心理学家或是社工开个家庭会议会告诉家庭成员们怎样来调节自身行为，这样会使孩子慢慢受益。在帮助孩子学会看别人的暗示并且做出合适的回应方面可以介入更多。