Many people ask the question, how often do couples have sex, on average? Iif this question has been on your mind, welcome to the club! The quick answer to this question is, it depends! Every person has a different level of sexual need.
There is no right or wrong answer for frequency for a person or a couple. How often you desire sex is very personal. If you look at national averages for married couples, for example, then 1-2 times per week among married couples might be average. But for others who enjoy sexual activity every day, that might be much or too infrequent. Some people enjoy daily sexual expression, and some several times per day. There are many different factors that can affect your sex drive and your sexual behavior
Here are seven factors that can impact desire for sexual frequency:
1. How satisfying the sex is for both of you. If the sex is fantastic, you may enjoy yourself so much that you want more of it. In my experience working with couples, great sex can lead to even more great sex. Do you look to please yourself and your partner, or do you stop caring and trying? If the sex is not the greatest, then think of how you can make it a better experience for you, and talk with your partner about that. Then, put your plans into action. Dare to try new things. If you like them, you can do them again. If they don’t work at all, then just laugh and move on.
2. How well you are getting along. If you are fighting all the time, it may be difficult to connect sexually with one another or to be “in the mood” for sex. Although some people swear that “make-up sex” after an argument is the hottest, I think that having a harmonious relationship outside of the bedroom can help your sex lives, (as long as there is chemistry between you, of course!)
3. Your physical health, including medications you take. Let’s face it. Sometimes, when you are not feeling well, being sexual may not be the first thing on your mind. In addition, some medications carry negative sexual side effects on desire or sexual performance. One example of this is some anti-depressants. You can read, research, and consult with your doctor if you notice changes in your desire or your performance when you take medications. Even so, research has shown that pleasurable sexual activity releases endorphins, and boosts the immune system, so maybe sex can be part of your health recovery plan!
4. Your ability to ‘get in the mood’ even when you’re not initially. This can go a long way in enhancing your relationship with your partner. Once you get going, you will probably both have fun! Plan activities that get you in the mood for lovemaking! Whether you enjoy a warm bath, candles, soft music, a sexy shopping experience, a body massage, or looking into your lover’s eyes, go for it!
5. The frequency you are used to. If you are like most people, you are a creature of habit. If you are in the habit of being sexual every day, then you are more likely to continue that habit. If you form new habits, such as watching 5 hours of TV per day, then you are more likely to focus on the TV instead of intimacy.
6. Your ability to communicate your desires and needs, and to get those met. How well do you know yourself sexually? Are you able to communicate what you like sexually to your partner? Many people have difficulty talking about sex openly because of social stigma and taboo. If you can learn to break through those barriers, you may find yourself more motivated to be sexual with your partner.
7. Your sexual compatibility. Whether or not you enjoy the same things sexually seems to be a big factor in whether or not you are satisfied and motivated sexually. For example, if you enjoy lots of kissing during lovemaking, while your partner is opposed to this, then you may not have such a great time together. Also, if your partner is very sexually adventurous and you are very uptight, you might both resist having sex together because of your different tastes. The best is to find someone who enjoys similar activities as you do, or enjoys everything, and you can have fun together.
Frequency in sex is much more a matter of your personal choice and your choice as a couple. Use the law of attraction in your favor. If you want more intimacy, feel, think, and take action in that direction. Many couples I see have different ideas about frequency, and need some assistance working through these issues. The important thing is to learn what you like and how to get your needs met. Decide on the frequency you want and go for that.
译文:
影响性生活的七大因素
很多人会问这样一个问题，一对夫妇平均多久会亲热一次。如果你也想过这个问题，欢迎加入我们的俱乐部。然而对于这个问题，最简单的回答是，因人而异。因为每个人对于性爱的需求程度都不一样。
其实这个问题的答案没有对错的区分。 每个人对性爱的欲望存在着差异。例如，国内的已婚夫妇平均每周做爱一到两次。但是对于那些喜欢每天有性生活的人来说，那无疑是太少了，更不用说那些一天有数次性行为的人了。其实，有很多因素会让人产生性冲动从而影响性行为。
以下七点就会影响人的性欲以及性爱频率
1. 双方对于性爱的满意程度。如果这次性爱很美妙，你会很享受，想要再来几次。 以我对夫妇的研究经验来看，高质量的性生活是会循序渐进的。 你会取悦自己或者对方，还是对他缺乏关心和尝试？如果性爱不够和谐，那么和对方探讨一下，如果能改善一下性生活的质量，这会是一个很好的方法。然后，将你们的计划付诸行动。 要敢于尝试一些新鲜的事物。如果你们喜欢，可以再次使用，如果没有效果，你们就笑笑，然后继续。
2. 双方的融洽程度。 如果你们老是发生不愉快， 那么两个人就很难有心情发生性爱关系。尽管很多人认为吵架后的性爱是最炽热有激情的，但我觉得在日常生活种也维持和谐的关系对于性生活是很有帮助的（当然，只要你们之间存在爱的化学作用。）
3. 你的身体健康，包括你服用的药品。当你感到不适时,就不会有强烈的性欲。同时，一些药物也会对它产生消极的副作用或者影响性生活质量，比如兴奋剂。如果你发现服用药物后对你的性欲和性生活质量产生了影响，你可以阅读搜索说明，或者咨询你的医生。 而且，研究表明愉快的性生活可以释放内啡肽，增强免疫系统，所以，性生活可能会成为养生计划的一部分。
4. 是否能够调整情绪进入状态。 这对和你的伴侣增进感情很有效。一旦你们开始了，双方都会找到乐趣。 制定一些活动来让你们进入调情状态。不管是一起洗澡，共进烛光晚餐，听动情的音乐，还是购买一些性感的物品，做身体按摩疑惑单单凝望爱人的眼睛，想到什么就做什么。
5. 选择你习惯的性爱频率。如果你和大多数人一样，那么频率也和大多数人一样。如果你习惯每天都做爱，那你很可能会继续这个习惯。如果你养成了一些新的习惯，像每天看五个小时电视，那你很可能更想看电视而不是和伴侣亲热。
6. 如何表达自己的需求然后得到满足。你对于自己性爱方面的问题了解多少？ 你能否和自己的伴侣交流你在亲热时有哪些偏爱？由于社会环境的压力，很多人很难大方的和伴侣谈论性。如果你能克服这些障碍，你会发现你会更积极的对待你的伴侣。
7. 你的性能力。你是否喜欢一尘不变对于在性爱是你能否积极，满意是有很大影响的。比如，在做爱的时候你喜欢长时间的热吻对方，但是你的伴侣不喜欢，可能你就不会花那么长时间亲吻。或者，如果你的伴侣在性爱时很奔放而你很拘束，双方可能都会拒绝再亲热，因为两个人品味不一样。最好的方式是找一个和你有共同爱好的人，或者，接受一切，一起寻找快乐。
性爱的频率与其说是个人选择不如说是双方的选择。想到什么就做什么。 如果想要亲热，感觉一下，想一想，然后就接着采取行动。我看到很多夫妇在性爱频率上有分歧，因此需要帮助以解决这些问题。 重要的是如何了解你喜欢什么，并且满足自己的需要。自己决定性爱频率，随心所欲。