Editor’s Note: Today’s guest post was written by Alexander De Foe. Thanks Alex!
Each individual brings a unique light into the world, however, often that light remains buried below the surface of the person others see in us. Discovering that light and letting it shine is one of the fundamental steps each individual must take to become a more whole person.
Human beings often give up the power of being true to themselves, hiding amongst the shadows of social roles and familiar comforts instead. There are a number of reasons we pretend to be something we are not. It’s easier – sure, it makes us less responsible – right, it allows others the comfort of knowing we are no better than them – nothing special to see here – just an ordinary guy or girl. But let me tell you my side of the story so that you can decide for yourself whether it is really worthwhile to step up, be a unique individual, and to fight for what makes you who you are.
The Cost of Being Yourself
Being yourself means being able to be a free individual. There is something within us that stops that from happening, The Critic. There are a number of accusations that come from The Critic that are just waiting to trigger you into action. The moment someone questions your religion, The Critic wakes up. The moment there is someone at a party that starts hitting on your significant other, The Critic jumps into action. The moment that a person mocks you, laughs at you, or insults your pride, The Critic is there.
Hang on, who is The Critic, you might be asking. The Critic is the part of yourself that you have unconsciously hired as a guard to build a fortress around your personality. However the cost of deconstructing that fort is expensive, so it remains, guarding you with the old values, beliefs, and expectations that you assigned to The Critic a long time ago. Each time someone questions your individual self, The Critic is there to let that person know that you are not afraid of defending yourself.
Each one of us holds onto a particular set of standards that makes up the person we know to be “me”. The moment something causes us take a footstep outside of those standards, The Critic jumps in. Suddenly, we have to defend ourselves and save ourselves from losing our identity – the sense of being “me” that must be defended at all costs. So much trouble to defend something that does not even need defending – isn’t it?
The Cost of Being Free
Does the sense of “I” need to be defended? Let me share what I think. The true self within us does not need to be defended. It just needs to be expressed. However when we fail to express our true self, whether we feel threatened or rejected by others, we build a false self –a Critic – that sits in the back of our mind whispering “Stop! Do not be yourself, remember what happened last time. Instead be like they expect you to be”.
Our world so often places over us a blanket of overcast skies filled with the chronic expectations that all the people in our lives hold over us. So often we compromise our true self to take on one role or another, forever shape-shifting in an endless disguise that fools all but ourselves.
The cost of being free is hefty. It requires you to respond to The Critic and to take off the disguise. In the face of adversity it requires you to be your true self no matter what others have to say about it. Once you stop shaping yourself to meet the needs of others, once you stop projecting a certain role that supposedly looks good to others, and once you stop being someone else, you will find an unusual gift waiting for you.
The Prize of Being Free
Happiness. It took me a long time to find out the real essence behind happiness and freedom – for so long these were just concepts in my mind, concepts that I thought could be actualized with 6-figure salaries, the end of world poverty, and the cessation of global aggression, discontentment, and fear. Finally I came to realize that happiness is a gift that is waiting for us as soon as we embrace our true self. It is up to us to stop pushing our true self under, to stop criticizing and undervaluing it.
There are two types of human beings in the world – people, and individuals. Once you are able to be an individual and not just an ordinary person, you will find your inner intuitive powers begin to grow as you discover happiness, freedom, and self-actualization shining brighter within yourself. It takes courage to take off the disguise protecting you and to let your true colours shine, but this is one of the most honourable and rewarding actions a person can decide to take in life.
You are a Powerful Individual
The individual that shines through when we let go of the defended self has to be watered like a seed is watered before it sprouts. If instead we try to build a false persona – then how can we ever hope to bring happiness and freedom into our lives? Suppressing your true self inevitably leads to a downward spiral of self destruction. Your true self has always been waiting to come out – and therein is the source of individual power.
I am not talking about the type of power that one has to defeat a country by military strength, nor the power that a person has to manipulate others into benefiting for themselves, and not even the power of being the leader in a company, a relationship, or a sports contest. I am talking about the power of being yourself.
The power to be yourself is not measured by how well you can defend your-self, but instead by how well you can express your-self through the limitless creative channels the universe provides. The more you are able to get to know your true self the better you are able to heal the blockages cutting off your creative energy.
Many people know their false self a lot better than their true self. This accommodates them the power to be good at something career-wise, to be better than others at writing, or to be able to attract socially popular partners. I am just using these as examples, of course. The point I am making is that when we get in tune with our true self the immense power, happiness, and freedom that is born allows us to express and share ourselves with others. This sharing opposes the type of reality where life is a competition – instead it allows us to make a unique and divine contribution of “I” to the rest of the world and to collaborate in tandem with the universe.
From the author:
I would like to thank Albert for allowing me the opportunity to share this post with you. Further readings entitled Meditate to Discover Your True Self and Ego and Illusion at SpiritualBlog.com explore topics central to this post.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed it, and you are more than welcome to take a look at my blog through the links above.
From the Editor:
Thank you for that post Alex. I’m truly lucky to have so many great writers offer their insights during my little break from blogging. Exams are nearly over, so I promise that in a week I’ll have something of my own up. Thank you for your patience, everyone!
译文:
做自己的力量
编者注释：今天专栏的嘉宾是Alexander De Foe。谢谢ALEX！
每个个体会给世界带来生独一无二的光芒，常常那光芒会隐藏在众人看到人的表面上。发现那光并且让其发出耀眼的光芒是每个人成长为更成熟的人时所必须踏上的基石。
人们常常放弃对自己忠诚的能力，宁愿把自己隐藏在社会角色的阴影里和自己熟悉的舒适区内。有很多理由去解释我们为什么伪装自己。与做自己比，这会更容易，当然，它让我们负更少的责任－是的，它允许其它人拥有我们不比他们好的舒适感－没什么特别好看的－只是一个普通的男子或女孩。但是，让我从我自身的经验告诉你，以此你能自己做出决定，这是否值得让你去提升自我，成为一个独一无二的人体，并且努力成为你本来的自己。
成为真实自我的代价
成为真实自我意味着有能力成为一个自由的个体。但是在我们体内的一种东西阻止我们成为那样的个体，那就是批评家。批评家经常会责备你，并且他们在等待着激发你的行动。当在有人怀疑你的信仰时，批评家就会出现。当在一个聚会上有人向你的恋人献殷勤时，批评家就会采取行动。当有人嘲笑你，取笑你，或者侮辱你时，批评家就会现身。
打住，也许你会问，究竟谁是那个批评家呢？那个批评家是你自身的一部分，你在不知不觉地雇用了他并且让他在你个性周围建造一个堡垒。然而，摧毁那一座堡垒的成本却是很高，于是，它仍然存在着，把你保卫在你委派给批评家的那些旧的价值观，信仰，以及期望。每一次当人们在质问你个体自我的时候，批评家就会在出来让别人知道你不敢于为自己辩护。
我们每个人都有自己的一套独特准则，而这些准则构成了“自我”。当某种特别原因驱使我们从那些准则往外迈步时，批评家就会出现。突然间，我们不得不为自己辩护并且从失去自己的个性来保护我们－不惜任何代价地去保护“自我”意识。费那么大劲去为那些根本不需要辩护的事情辩护，难道不是这样吗？
自由的代价
难道“自我”意识需要辩护吗？我来谈谈我的看法。我们的真实自我不需要辩护。它只需要被表达。然而，在我们受到威胁或被别人拒绝时，我们难以表达我们真实的自己，这时候我们就会构造一个虚假的自我－一个批评家－他就坐在我们思想的后面，不停地说“停！不要做你自己，记住上次发生的事的教训。去成为他们想要你成为的那个人。”
我们的世界经常在我们上面旋转一层阴暗的天空，它充满我们生命中所有人寄于我们的长久期待。我们真实的自我经常对这个或那个角色让步，无穷无尽地伪装愚弄的仅仅是我们自己。
自由的代价是沉重的。它要求你对那位批评家作出回应并且摘下你那伪装。在逆境面前不管别人说什么，它要求你对自己真诚。一旦你停止伪装去迎合别人，一旦你停止在别人面前表现貌似很好的角色，一旦你停止成为其它人，你就会找到一份与众不同的礼物等着你。
自由的奖品
幸福。我花了很长时间才找到隐藏在幸福和自由真正意义—因为一直以来在我的脑海里都有一个关于幸福概念，幸福能通过得到六位数的薪水，消除世界贫穷，和结束全球侵略，消除不满和恐惧来实现。最后我发现幸福是一份礼物，当我们拥抱自己的真实自我时，它就会出现。停止压制真实的自我，停止对它的批评和低估，这都取决于我们自己。
在这个世界上有两种人――大众，和个体。一旦你能够成为一个个并且不只是一个平常的人时，你就会发随着你发现幸福，自由，和自己我实现开始在你体内发出更耀眼的光芒时，你就会发现你体内那与生俱来的力量开始增加。摘下那一直保护着你的那伪装然后让你真实光芒闪耀，这都需要勇气，但这却是人一人的生命中能决定的最荣誉的最有价值的行动之一。
你是一个强大的个体
当我们不再为自己辩护时，被辩护自我必须要被浇洒就象萌芽前种子要被浇洒那样，个体就会一直闪耀光芒。如果我们尝试去塑造一个伪装外表――我们又如何去给自己的生活带来幸福和自由呢？压制真实的自我明显的会导致螺旋式下降的自我毁灭。你真实的自我总在等待着出现――在那里就是个体力量的来源。
我所说力量不是那种靠武装优势来击败一个国家的力量，也不是那种利用别人并从他们身上取得利益的力量，更不是那种能够在公司，关系，或者体育比赛中成为领导者的力量。我说的是那种成为你自己的力量。
成为自己的力量不是以你能多好地为自己辩护来衡量的，而是以你能通过世界上无限的有创造的途径来表达自我。如果你能更好的了解真实的你自己，你就能更好地去激发你的创造力。
与真实的自己相比很多人对他们伪装的自己更了解。这为他们提供力量，使他们能在事业上有所成就，使他们在写作上比别人优势，使他们能吸引社交圈里受欢迎的伴侣。当然，我只是举些例子而己。我想说的是，当我们能与真实自我和谐统一时，所产生的无穷的力量，幸福，和自由，能让我们与其他人表达自己，分享自己。这种分享与人生是场竞赛的现实相对，然而，它允许我们为世界作出一个独一无二的神圣的贡献，允许我们与宇宙从生协力合作。
作者：
感谢Albert给予我这样一个机会与大家分享这篇文章。在SpiritualBlog.com里的两篇文章Meditate to Discover Your True Self和 Ego and Illusion会更深放的讨论本文的主题。感谢您花时间来阅读，希望您会喜欢，您可能通过以上连接访问我的博客。
编者
感谢Alex的文章。真得很有幸能在我写博客的短时间休息里，有这么多的伟大作家贡献们的深入见识。
考试快结束了，我保证在一周内能为你们提供我的作品。谢谢你们的耐心!