A lot of us suffer from irrational thinking which can affect our lives in a dramatic way. It can seperate the successful people in life from the unsuccessful ones, it can mean the difference between loving someone and hating someone, it can be the difference between peace and war. All wars, Yes I mean ALL, are caused by irrational thinking.
In this post I will look at seven common irrational thoughts and hopefully if you suffer from irrational thinking it will help you to change.
1. If someone criticises me there must be something wrong with me
There are many reasons why people criticise each other but it does not mean there is something wrong with you if they do criticise you. It means they have a differing opinion to you which is fantastic as without differing opinions in the world it would be a terrible place to live.
2. I must always seek approval in order to feel good about myself
Many people have thought this at one time or another in their lives, however it becomes damaging when it is an entrenched belief. There is no way you can please everybody all the time so there is no point in even trying. Seek approval from yourself and if you’re happy and feel good that’s all that matters. Yes it’s nice to have other people’s opinions but don’t go out of the way to please other people.
3. I won’t try anything new unless I know I will be good at it
Many people suffer from these types of thoughts. Trying new things in your life is a way for you to grow and learn more about yourself. You don’t have to be good at everything in your life but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy new experiences even if you are not good at them.
4. It’s not my fault my life didn’t go the way I wanted
I have news for you; it is your fault. This doesn’t make you bad and it doesn’t mean you are a failure. You have control over your thoughts and therefore your actions. You thoughts and actions will determine your life. If you constantly blame others for the way your life has turned out you have given all your power away to other people. Take the control back and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
5. I am inferior to everyone else
That’s just the way you feel, which doesn’t make it true. You have qualities that nobody else can touch and other people have qualities that you can’t touch. Recognising your strengths will build your self confidence recognising others strengths will build their self confidence but don’t put yourself down when recognising that somebody else is better than you at something.
6. I was rejected which means there is something wrong with me
This is over generalising like the person who was rejected in a relationship, they think it always happens to them and they must somehow be unworthy of love. People reject others due to differing ideals, just like you do, but it doesn’t mean you are in any way unworthy it just means your ideals don’t match someone else’s ideals.
7. If I feel happy about life something will go wrong
Another common irrational thought. You deserve all the happiness you make for yourself; your past is your past, if there are still issues lurking from your past that is blocking you to feel happy about today speak to someone about it. Do not tinge your present and future thoughts with bad memories or else your present and future thoughts will get infected and your life will always stay the same.
How to stop your irrational thoughts
Simple! Just catch yourself every time you have an irrational thought or self defeating thought and replace the wording of your internal thought. For example:
You are driving on a beautiful day and a bird decides to shit on your car. You might think:
“that always happens to me, why do they always shit on my car”
To
“It’s about time I got the car washed”.
Look for the keywords in there “always”, this is an untruth. If birds always shit on his car his car would be floating in the stuff. So catch yourself with untrue statements such as:
“always” e.g. I always get caught in the rain (If that were true you’d be a fish)
“I never……………………” e.g. “I can never get a parking space.” (If that were true you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere in your car without stopping).
“I couldn’t……” e.g. “I couldn’t walk a mile” (have you tried?).
“I’m hopeless at……………”e.g. “Oh, I am hopeless at talking in a group.” (usually said whilst talking to a group of friends).
“It’s terrible……” e,g. “Isn’t it terrible that it’s raining?” (Eh! No, it’s not terrible).
There are a lot more irrational thoughts out there and you have to be conscious to catch yourself thinking them. I hope this article helps you to catch your irrational thoughts and brings your life into perspective.
译文:
7种影响你生活的不可理喻的思想
我们很多人都饱受着不可理喻的思想，这种思想能极大地影响我们的生活。它能把生活中的成功的人和不成功的人分离开来，它能代表着喜爱某个人和讨厌某个人之间的区别，它可以是和平与战争之间的区别。所有战争，是的，我指的是所有（战争），都是由不合逻辑的思想引起的。
在这篇贴子中，我将聚焦于7种常见的不可理喻的思想，同时也希望它能帮助你有所改变如果你正遭受不可理喻的思想。
1. 若某人批评我，我肯定有问题
人们为何相互批评是有很多理由的但并不意味着他们一旦批评你，你就有问题。这意味着他们跟你有着不同的观点。这是好事，因为如果世界上没有不同的观点的话，它将会是一个恐怖的居住地。
2. 为了自我感觉良好，我必须总是寻求赞许
人们在其生活中都会时不时这样想过，但是当它成为一种根深蒂固的观念时就变得有害了。你不可能总是取悦每一个人，所以甚至没有尝试的意义。寻求你自己的赞许如果那样你感到愉快和感觉良好，那才是重要的。获得人的评价是好事，但不要为了取悦他人而走得太远了。
3. 除非我知道我擅长做某事，否则我不会去尝试任何新事物
很多人遭受着这种思想。在生活中你成长和更多理解自己的方式。在你的生活中你不必擅长每一件事并且也不意味着你不能享受新体验即使你不擅长做它们。
4. 我的生活不按照我想要的方式进行补是我的错
我要告诉你，那是你的错。这种思想并不会使你变糟糕而且也不意味着你是一个失败者。你已经控制了你的思想相应地你也控制了你的行动。你的思想和行动将会决定你的生活。如果你经常责备他人，你已经把自己的能量都放到了别人身上。收回控制且对你的思想和行为负责。
5. 我不如其他任何一个人
这仅是你觉得的方式而已，不会是真的。你有着别人比不上的品质，别人也有你比不上的。意识到你的优点将会有助于你建立自信意识到他人的优点有助于建立他人的自信，但是不要看低你自己当你发现别人在某些事上比你好的时候。
6. 我被排斥了，这意味着我有问题
这过于泛化了，就像某个人在某种关系中受到了排斥，他们认为这种事情总是发生在他们身上，他们肯定不知什么原因不值得爱。人们排斥他人，就像你一样，（可能）由于意识不同，但并不意味着你无论怎样都一文不值。这仅意味着你的观点和他人的观点不一致。
7. 如果我觉得生活快乐的话，有些事情将会变糟
另一种常见的不合逻辑的思想。你理所当然应当获得你为自己争取到的快乐，你的过去就是你的过去。如果现在仍有你过去的问题潜伏在你的心里而影响了你感受今天的快乐，向某个人倾诉不要给你现在合将来的思想染上不好的记忆颜色，否则你现在和将来的思想将会受到影响，你的生活将会一成不变。
怎样阻止你不可理喻的思想
很简单！每当你有不可理喻的思想或自我打败的思想时就要拦住自己并且替换你内部的思想的措词。例如：
在美丽的一天你正开着车，一只鸟决定在你的车上拉屎，你也许会想：“这种事总是发生在我身上，为什么它们总是拉屎到我车上。”
到
“是时候洗洗我的车了”。
Look for the keywords in there “always”, this is an untruth. If birds always shit on his car his car would be floating in the stuff. So catch yourself with untrue statements such as:
看看这里的关键词“总是”，这是假话，如果鸟总是在他的车上拉屎的话，他的车现在肯定覆盖满那种东西了。所以打住你的思想当你想到例如下面的那些虚假陈述时，例：
“总是 ”例：“ 我总是被雨淋 ”（如果这是真的，你就是一尾鱼了。）
“我从来没有、、、、、、”例：“我从来没有得到过一个停车位。”（如果那是真的，那你不可能在你没有停车的情况下去过任何地方。）
“我不能、、、、、、”例：“我走不了一英里。”（你试过了吗？）
“ 我对、、、、、、不抱希望”例：“我对在小组里讨论不抱希望。”（通常在和一群朋友聊天时这样说）
“真糟糕、、、、、、”例：“下雨难道不糟糕吗？”（啊，不，不糟糕）
这还有很多没来由的思想你不得不留神来制止你自己想这些。我希望这篇文章能够帮助你拦住你的那些不可理喻的思想，还有正确处理你的生活。