What does a producer do?
The screenwriter, obviously, writes the screenplay.
The actors, of course, act in that screenplay.
And the director, without question, directs the whole thing.
But what does the producer do?
I will attempt to explain.
A film producer is the guy who, when a writer tells him about a good idea he's got for a screenplay, says, "That was done in 1938 by William Wyler. It costarred Fredric March and Loretta Young, with Claude Rains playing the black hat. But you know what? I think we could update it, if instead of making the leading lady a nun, we have her working in a casino in Nevada. We put George Clooney in the Fredric March role, and we make him an undercover agent for the CIA who has tracked a Russian agent to Las Vegas. Angelina Jolie would be great for the girl.
"They meet and fall in love, but he discovers that she's pregnant by the Russian agent. George has been licensed to kill this guy, who, incidentally, will be played by Jack Black, but Angelina begs George not to kill the father of her unborn child. In a tearstained scene at the Las Vegas airport, Angelina says goodbye to George and walks to the plane to join Jack Black for the trip back to Moscow. Our big ballad here. Maybe we get Elton John.
"George stops at the airport and pulls out a quarter-a quarter she gave him. He drops it in a slot machine. The place goes nuts-bells ringing and all that stuff. George has hit the $1 million jackpot! He collects his money in a single large suitcase. It's all in ones to make it more visual-this is a visual medium.
"He goes back to his hotel. He's still sick about losing Angelina. He takes the $1 million down to the hotel casino and puts the whole thing on No. 27, which was their number. We see the ball rolling around and around and around-endlessly, while the theme music, sung by Celine Dion, soars until every butt in every seat is up in the air. The ball drops into No. 29, then hiccups slightly and pops into 28, then, as Celine reaches a pitch so high that every dog within a mile of any movie house in America is howling with pain, the ball goes blip-and drops into 27."
By now, the writer, who is on the edge of his seat listening to the producer, is ecstatic. "And Angelina returns to him!" he screams.
"No," says the producer. "That's what would have happened in 1938. Instead we go for total realism. George meets two bimbos, played by Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, buys champagne for everybody in Las Vegas, and sends a telegram to Angelina, which she gets as she and Jack Black land in Moscow. It reads simply '#*%! you!' in Russian.
"As we go out on a big rock number by Bon Jovi, George is buying a training bra with diamond studs on it for Paris, and Lindsay gets the last big laugh of the movie by falling up a down escalator."
"I love it!" says the writer, leaping from his seat. He drives like a maniac back home and writes a first draft overnight, and the producer takes it to one of the studios.
There, a reader who occupies a small closet-like office in a building near the parking lot and drinks from a Star Wars mug reads it and condenses it to about a page and a half. Finally, because this is a prestigious producer, it wends its way through numerous assistants and production vice presidents, and, on the big day, the producer arrives to meet the head of the studio.
The head man, who hasn't read the screenplay or the condensed version but does know who has been suggested for the leading roles, because that's more important than the script, says, "George Clooney is in the dumper. Angelina's fine, and the kids like Jack Black. We want Brad Pitt for the guy and Ashton Kutcher for the girl's kid brother."
The producer doesn't remember that there is a kid brother, but he's on a roll, so why argue? He agrees to the casting.
"And," says the head of the studio, "we want Steven Spielberg to direct. We've already contacted him, and he says as long as you stay off the set, he'll do it."
The producer then negotiates his own deal, taking an exceedingly large piece of the pie, flies to Bimini, where his yacht has been moored for the winter, and for the next six months sails around the Greek islands with Britney Spears and her mother.
The picture is made and released, is a huge hit, and garners no Oscar nominations. The producer makes millions, leaves his yacht in Greece, flies back to America, and buys another one.
That's what a producer does.
At least, that's what I'm told.
译文:
好奇:制片人是做什么的啊?
制片人是做什么的啊?
.很清楚,电影编剧是写剧本的.
演员呢，当然,是表演剧本的.
导演呢，毫无疑问，是指导所有事情的。
但是制片人究竟是干啥的呢？
下面我将尽力阐明一下。
电影制片人就是这样的一类人。当作家向他讲述一个关于剧本的好创意时，他会说：“1938年威廉·惠勒拍过那个。它由弗雷德里克·马奇和洛蕾塔杨领衔主演，反面人物是克劳德·雷恩斯。但是你知道吗？我想我们可以改编一下，我们可以把女主角由修女换成在内华达赌场的工作人员。乔治·克鲁尼出演弗雷德里克·马奇的角色，他的身份是一名为中央情报局工作的秘密特工，追踪一名俄国特工到了拉斯韦加斯. 由安洁莉娜朱丽出演女主角，她应该很合适。”
“他们相遇并相爱了，但他发现她已经怀了那个俄国特工的孩子。乔治已经接到杀死这个俄国特工的授权，顺便说一下，这个人由杰克·布莱克出演。但安洁莉娜乞求他不要杀她未出世孩子的爸。在拉斯韦加斯的机场上演了感人的一幕，安洁莉娜告别了乔治与杰克·布莱克一起登上了回莫斯科的飞机。一首悲伤的情歌慢慢响起。也许我们会选埃尔顿·约翰的歌曲。”
乔治没有离开飞机场,他掏出一个25美分的硬币,那是她送给他的,然后投向了一台老虎机,这时发出了一阵剧烈的铃响之类的声音.他中了一百万美元的大奖!他把钱装入一个大手提箱里.就在这刹那所有的一切变的更加直观,这是个可视媒体.
"他回到了宾馆.失去了安吉莉娜,他的心还是无法平静.他带着那一百万去了宾馆下面的赌场把全部都压在27号上,这个号码是属于他俩的.球一直在转呀转呀转的,这时逐渐响起了席琳•迪翁演唱的主题曲,音乐声让每位在座观众的心悬而未决.球落进了29号,然后稍微向下动了一点突然落到了28号,接下来,随着席琳•迪翁飙上一个高音,这个音足能引起美国影院一英里之内的所有狗儿们一阵狂叫,球最终落入了27号."
直到现在,这个作家都还欣喜若地站在制片人椅子旁听他讲着,"安吉莉娜回到了他身边."他尖叫道.
"不"制片人说"那是只有在1938年才能发生的事情.相反,我们要把它拍成一部现实主义作品.乔治遇到了两个女人,分别由莲莎·露夏恩和帕丽斯·希尔顿扮演,他在拉斯韦加斯举行了全民香槟大庆祝然后给安吉莉娜发了一份电报,用俄文读就是"#*%! 你",她与杰克·布莱克乘坐的飞机在莫斯科着陆后她就收到了这份电报."
"就当我们踏着邦·乔维强烈的摇滚乐外出时,乔治正给帕丽斯买镶有钻石的少女胸罩,莲莎也因为她逆流而上的精神给影片更添几分色彩."
"我喜欢!"作家从座位上跳起来说.他超级兴奋地开车回家了整个晚上他都在写第一稿,然后制片人把稿子带到一间工作室.
然后呢,有个在小得象间衣橱的办公室工作的读者会阅读这篇稿子而且会把它删减到大约一页半的样子,他的办公室在靠近停车场的一幢大楼里,他常去一间叫星球大战马克杯的酒吧.最后,因为他是一位非常有名气的制片人,而且稿子也经过助理和副制片等人无数次的加工提炼,制片人与工作室负责人会在一个重要日子里进行会面.
负责人会说:"乔治·克鲁尼已经过气了.安洁莉娜还可以,孩子们喜欢杰克·布莱克.我们想把乔治·克鲁尼换成布拉德·皮特然后艾什顿·库奇演女孩的弟弟." 虽然他没有读过剧本或节略本,但知道哪些被推荐做主演因为演员阵容比剧本更重要.
制片人不记得还有个弟弟的角色，但是他一切都进行得很顺利，又怎么会去争这个呢？他同意这样的演员阵容。
工作室负责人说：“还有就是我们要求由史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格执导。我们已经联系上他了，他说只要你不再干预，他愿意来。”
制片人狠很的咬下一大口派然后提出了他自己的要求。达成一致后，他飞往了比米尼，在那里还泊着他的游艇呢，在接下来的六个月中他与布兰妮-斯皮尔斯以及她的妈妈围着希腊群岛航行。
影片完成并且上演了，而且取得了巨大的成功，获得了奥斯卡提名。制片人赚了上百万，丢弃了希腊群岛上的那艘游艇，飞回美国又重新买了一艘。
那就是一个制片人要做的。
至少,别人是这样告诉我的。