原文: So You Think You are Ready For a Long-term Relationship?

1. If female are you in your mid to late 20s? If male are you in your early 30s? At this age you would have had the opportunity to live life and have healthy experiences so that when you settle down, you do not feel like you are missing your youth. So use the time well, travel meet people, explore cultures, just have fun. You only live once.

1. Do you know who you truly are, not who you pretend to be to everyone else but who you are? Only then will you attract the person who is your true mate. In other words, Always be Yourself.

1. Are you happy within yourself? Contrary to what most people think other people cannot bring you happiness, you have to find happiness for yourself and it is usually a burden on others when this responsibility is put on them

1. Have you achieved wholeness in yourself? There are enough troubles within a relationship to bring in baggage. If possible deal with it before getting into the relationship. If you are unable to deal with it, be upfront about it. It is unfair to burden someone else with complex issues, let them know what they are getting into. It is not right to have a comeback of but “I thought you loved me, if you really loved me, you would accept that I used to be a axe murderer!” A bit extreme but I think you get the point.

1. Accept that in a relationship there will be compromises, remember most of us have lived with siblings for years and still fight with them how much more a brand new mate who mostly will be like a stranger by comparison

1. Know when to fight your battles. You do not always have to have your own way. Unless the relationship is a dictatorial one in which case it is not a healthy relationship and you or the victim should flee as quickly as possible.

1. Appreciate the times when you are single. It allows you to be free of the considerations, compromises and couple related issues. You can do things with whomever you want, whenever you want and in whichever way you want.

1. Do not ever go below your standard for a mate irrespective of your age, peer pressure, societal pressure or even family pressure. Whomever your mate is, they must be able to relate to you at the most fundamental level of who you are and what you stand for, anything else is asking for trouble. My advise - no compromises on this one.

1. Realize that in every relationship, you love the person for their faults because most of their good traits are probably adorable but it is those faults that you can stand and the next person cannot that make both of you compatible. In other words, one man's ceiling is another man's floor. What you can stand about one person another would find it unbearable.

1. If you decide to marry please and please attend marriage-counseling sessions, most places of worship offer them. This is very important because there are many issues, which can easily be overlooked until it is too late. It is easy even for the most matured of us to assume that “They lived happily ever after” is the end of that story but real life tells us otherwise. Attend marriage counseling before the journey starts to reduce the possibility of needing one when you have started the journey and turning back is impossible.

1. Finally, every relationship is unique, do not compare yours with another's, there are things your partner will do for you that the other person's partner will not do for you and that makes it work for both of you 

译文: 所以你认为已准备好去发展一段长期关系了吗?

      如果是女的，你现在正处于25-30岁之间吗?如果是男的,你正处于三十几岁早期吗?在这个年龄,你应该已有机会过好生活和有好的经历了,这样的话，当你定居以后,就不会感觉自己浪费了青春。所以充分利用好时间，出去见见人，探究各种文化，只须享受乐趣。你只能活一次。

      你了解真实的自我吗，不是你在别人面前假装的样子，而是你真实的自我？只有这样你才能吸引能成为你真正配偶的人。换句话说，总是做真实的自我。

      你内心快乐吗？正如大部分人所想的相反，别人是无法带给你快乐的，你不得不自己寻找快乐，通常若把这种责任加在别人身上，会成为他们的负担。

      在你内心有没有完整的感觉？在一种关系中会有很多问题足够到打成一箱。如果可能的话，在关系深入前处理好它。如果你不能处理好它，面对它。把复杂的问题压在别人身上是不公平的，让他们知道自己正在深入发展的是什么。用以下方式反嘴是不对的，“我认为你爱过我，如果你真的爱过我，那么你就该接受我是一个杀人犯！”这个例子有点极端但我觉得正中要害。

      接受吧，在一段关系中要有妥协。记得我们中的大部分都和自己的兄弟姐妹在一起住了好几年了，但仍和他们打架，相比之下，一个全新的配偶，甚至更像陌生人的他（她）就需要更多的妥协了。

      知道什么时候为自己开战。你用不着一直用自己的方法。除非在这种关系中，有一方是独裁者，是一种不健康的关系，你或受害者应该尽快地逃掉。

      珍惜你单身的时间。它让你远离体谅，妥协和许多相关问题。你可以和任何你想合作的人一起做事，任何时间，用任何方式。

      尽管你的年龄，同辈的压力，社会压力甚至家庭压力，都不要因为这些而降低你对配偶的标准。无论你的配偶是谁，在一些最根本的问题上，如你是什么样的人，你代表什么，在你有任何麻烦的时候，他都应该站在你这边。我的建议是 ：在这点上，没有妥协。

      意识到在每一段关系中，尽管他们的缺点，你还爱他因为他们的大部分好品质很可能值得敬慕，正是这些缺点你才可以容忍，但另外一个人却不能使你们的想法都一致。换句话说，一个男人的优点却是另一个男人的缺点。你能忍受这个人的一些东西，别人会无法忍受。

      如果你打算结婚，请一定要参加婚姻咨询研讨会，这在大部分做礼拜的地方都有提供。这是很，重要的，因为有许多问题可以很容易被忽略，一旦发现，为时过晚了。甚至对于我们这些成熟的人来说，去设想“他们以后永远幸福的生活在一起”这种故事的结尾是件容易的事，但现实告诉我们不是这样的。在感觉自己不是很想需要另一方之前来参加婚姻咨询，一旦你走上了这条路，回头就不可能了。

      最后，每段关系是独特的，不要用你的和别人的相比，有很多事你的伴侣会为你做，但其他人的伴侣不会为你做，这些事对你们双方都会起作用。