How can it be difficult to tell your child you love them? Well for some people it is incredibly difficult to share and show their emotions, even to their own children. For the people who grew up in a loveless household or were just not told they were loved, it can be a stressful and difficult time saying I love you.
We all need to hear I love you form someone close to us at some time or another. It reaffirms our place in society and we feel needed and wanted.
Just because you cannot express your feelings to your children, does not you do not feel it deep inside. You can feel love and show it in different ways. These are just as important as telling your children you love them. From your potential previous experiences, you may find it difficult to say the words, from fear of being rejected. If you feel this way it may feel uncomfortable saying I love you, so start by writing it down. Leave your children little notes around the house to start slowly. Your little bundles of joy will love the fact you are leaving them secret messages and will respond positively. This will in turn make it easier to eventually say I love you and really mean it.
When you add the words I love you to actions and thing the children do to make it all too difficult. For example, saying I love you when you play nicely or I love you when you eat all your dinner tells the children you only love them when they do something, this could set their expectations unrealistically. Instead why not say I love it when, not I love you when. You love your children no matter what they do, do not let them think otherwise.
I love you is a very powerful sentence and remark and should be used daily, so many people say they used to say it all the time, then it just dwindles down to whenever they want something or special occasions! Where applicable tell your partner everyday you love them in front of your children. This will make the children more comfortable in saying to you and each other. Also it will make you feel more comfortable telling your children. Saying I love you should come naturally and with practise it will.
Try not to attach a want or need when saying I love you to your children. For example; I love you but can you just do this for me. If a child does do want you want it is making them work for your love and the children will be aware of that, you want unconditional love not love that has to be earned.
If you find it hard to say I love you think about yourself for a moment. Do you actually value and love yourself. If you love yourself and give yourself some time to yourself to reaffirm your body and mind, you may just realise that if you love yourself a little more, you can start projecting love to others more easily.
译文:
对孩子说：“我爱你”
向孩子们说你爱他们究竟有多难？
然而一部分的人会觉得与别人分享自己的情感是很困难的事，就连自己的孩子也不例外。
对于在缺少关爱的家庭中成长的或从未被人告知自己被爱过的人们来说，我爱你这三个字会很难从他们口中讲出来。
很多时候，我们都或多或少的需要身边的人对自己说我爱你。这不仅是对自己身份重要性的肯定，更是一种需要。
尽管你不向孩子表达出你对他们的爱，可并不代表内心深处你不在乎他们。你可以用其他的方式体会和表达这份爱。这同对孩子们讲出你对他们的爱一样重要。在过去的一些时刻里，可能你觉得爱在心口难开，使你对于说出我爱你这样的话感到不自在，那么，试着用笔记录下来吧。慢慢的开始在家周围给孩子们一些小小的暗示，这些小举动会使你收到很好的回报～不仅让他们了解到了你的爱，也比亲自讲出这些话来简单得多～
当你把我爱你这三个字加入到行为和具体事件上时，孩子们可能会把它变得很不自然。举个例子吧，“当你们做的很棒”或者“当你们吃完所有的饭”的时候告诉孩子们你爱他们，这样会让孩子们觉得当他们做了某些事的时候你才会爱他们，这就会让他们有些不合实际的期望。用为什么不在那时说“嘿我喜欢你们呢”这么做来代替那个时候你那么做了所以我喜欢你。爱孩子们是无论他们做了什么的，别让他们误解了。
我爱你是一句富有力量，值得运用到生活当中的话，很多的人们习惯于把它挂在嘴边，却在一些他们需要的或是特殊情况的时候被人们所忽略。在孩子面前对妻子或丈夫说我爱你会让孩子们觉得，对家人或他人说爱是很正常的事，也同样会使你更轻松的对他们说出自己的爱。讲出我爱你是需要发自内心的和需要被练习的～
注意不要再对孩子们说爱的同时加上任何条件或者希望他们变得如何如何这样的话。例如，我爱你，那么你能帮我做这个吗。如果孩子真的要做大人们以爱的名义要他们做的事的话，他们就会变得害怕听到爱这个字，人人都希望得到的是没有附加条件的爱，而不是挣得的爱。
如果你觉得我爱你这句话难说出口，就想一想自己吧，想一想你是否真正的最终和爱你自己。如果是的话，就请给自己一点时间，在心里和行动上证明一下，你就会发现，只要你爱自己多一点点，你就可以开始更好的爱其他的人。