A shy person can have a difficult time dating. The fear of being turned down or making a fool of themselves is overwhelming for the shy person. So, instead they will turn away and not ask the person out on a date. If the shy person is being asked out they tend to have a hard time saying no. They are so surprised anyone even noticed them that they react quickly and say yes. Here are some dating tips for the shy type.
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Avoid strong personalities
If a person asks you out and they tend to be aggressive then say no. If you know them from work or school and know that they seem strong minded and don't like someone who tells them no, still tell them no. Do not accept since it could be more damaging to your shyness than anything else. You will find yourself in a relationship that you will not be able to tell the person no or give them your opinion. Their strong personality can diminish yours. Sometimes it could lead to physical or mental abuse. Accept a date with someone closer to your personality. -
Avoid phone calls
If you want to ask someone out do not do it by phone. Many times you will choke and since most people have caller ID they will know it is you calling. Then the person will think you are strange or odd more than just shy. -
Talk to the person face to face
If you cannot find the courage to ask the person out in person what you can do is write it down and hand it to her/him, but remain present. Do not have someone ask for you and do not leave a note on their desk either. -
Double date
This can be very helpful for the real shy person. Having a friend nearby assisting you on what to say or do can be very comforting. You can also go out in a group. -
Be comfortable in your environment
Be sure that the environment of the place you are going to is comfortable to you or is familiar. This will take one less worry off your hands. -
Use your friends to your benefit
If they know someone you like they can introduce you to the person. Friends can also introduce you to those you don't know, but they are certain that the person is good for you.
译文:
当害羞的人“遭遇”约会
当一个害羞的人“遭遇”约会,他(她)的日子可能就不太好过了。对于生性害羞的人而言,他们对于自己被拒绝或是被耍弄的害怕程度是压倒性的。所以,为了避免这类事情的发生,他们会选择逃避或是干脆不同别人外出约会。如果别人向害羞的人提出了约会的请求,那么他们往往很难说“不”。他们会因万分惊讶于别人竟然会注意到自己而欣喜到立刻回答说“好”。这里有一些约会的小贴士,供害羞人士参考。
避免和个性过于强烈的人交往。
如果一个人约你出去,而他(她)恰巧又是属于个性强烈的类型,那么你应该立刻予以拒绝。如果你是从工作中,或是在学习时认识他们,并发现他们是那么得以自我为中心且不喜欢别人对他们说一个“不”字,那么你同样应该反击地对他们说“不”。千万不要就这样接受了这类人的要求,这样只会对你原本的害羞情结百害而无一利。你会发现自己处于一种两难的窘境:你既不能把自己的感觉告诉他人,又无法给他们你的意见或想法。他们的强烈个性会使你的个性消失殆尽。有时,它甚至会导致身理或心理的打击。接受那些性格与你接近的人的约会请求。
避免打电话。
如果你想约某人出去,不要使用电话。有时候,你的声音会听起来有些哽咽,而大多数的人家里都有可视电话。这样一来,他们一看就知道是你打来的。那样的话,对方或许会认为你不仅害羞,还有点奇怪甚至莫名其妙。
面对面地同别人交谈。
如果你没有勇气当面约别人出去,那么你不妨写下来并亲手交给她(他)。不要让别人代替你去提出约会的请求,也不要仅仅把纸条留在他们的桌上。
找个同伴陪你去约会。
这对于生性害羞的人来说,会是非常有帮助的。有个伙伴在你身边,告诉你该说什么,该做什么,会让你宽慰很多。你也可以参加一个小组型的约会。
确保自己在当时的环境下很舒服。
确保你将要去的约会环境会让你觉得舒服或是一个你已经熟悉的地方。这起码会解决你手头一大堆问题中的一个。
请你的朋友帮忙介绍。
如果你的朋友认识你喜欢的那个人,他们说不定就能介绍你们认识。朋友同样也可以介绍你不认识的人给你,只要他们确定那个人是适合你的就行。