Speed dating is a great way to meet new people. You know that everyone is single and people are actually paying to meet you! It sounds like a dream come true. Well, it is, but speed dating does not come without its own potential pitfalls. In this article, I will address some of these pitfalls and discuss how to avoid them. Less blunders equals more matches and dates after each event for you.
It stings when you speed date and you feel as if you have connected with a number of women during an event, but then find out a few days later that there are no matches waiting in your mailbox. When this happens, it’s easy to blame every woman that you met for not liking you or come to the rationalization that you didn’t like anyone at the event. It’s also easy to go into despair and think that no one likes you. I will offer you a much better solution by helping you spot your speed dating mistakes and getting you on track to not only meeting more women at each speed dating event, but also meeting women that you want.
I suggest arriving at the speed dating event a few minutes early. This way you’ll have enough time to grab a drink and feel more comfortable, instead of arriving a few minutes late and having to scramble to get to the event.
We tend to spend a lot more time focusing on our clothing when going on a date, but much less time devoted to focusing on our own mind set. This is probably the biggest mistake guys make because they are putting too much emphasis on dressing up and not enough emphasis on thinking positive and seeing themselves as fun and attractive. Women feel that if you are confident, then you are attractive. You should be well groomed because, let’s face it, in this day and age, it’s practically mandatory.
The next time you are getting ready for a speed date, take five minutes away from your grooming time and remind yourself that women are at the event for a reason, and that reason is to meet you: a fun, relaxed and confident man. To do this, think of some success that you have had in the past. Remind yourself of how you have faced some challenges and dealt with them. Get in a state of confidence by listening to music that puts you in a confident mood, give yourself a pep talk, or do anything that you normally do to gain your assured personality. Remind yourself that you are a cool guy who values himself and the women will find you attractive and will want to know more about you.
When we don’t know somebody, it’s our tendency to find out all of the facts about the other person first. Where they live? Where they work?. Who their second cousins are? These questions are all good, but don’t begin a conversation with them . In fact, if they don’t come up, then it’s even better. Have some fun while you are on a speed date. Talk about a recent travel or something curious that you’ve heard on the news. Now you are ready for a speed date. Speed dating is not synonymous with bore dating. So, don’t take the speed dating activity too seriously because this is not a job interview. Start with a joke and then you can touch up on other elements that interest you. Remember, you only have a few minutes to have a conversation. Becoming boring by asking tedious questions is not memorable, so have fun in the conversation.
Most men are trying too hard to impress a woman. What they don’t know, is that when you try too hard to impress, you come off as needy. When you come off as needy, you are not going to find a match. Remember, she is there for a reason and that reason is you, a fun and interesting guy. Don’t do all the talking in the conversation. Let your date ask you some questions in return. Don’t brag about your great car or your well paid job, unless it naturally comes up. Removing the need to impress will do amazing things for your meeting and dating life. Arrive at each speed dating event with the attitude that you are there to have fun rather than anticipating the dread of the first date. It will make a world of difference. It’s great when a conversation is going so well and you feel that you have a lot to say, and then you hear a signal to move on to meet the next woman. It’s great because if you had so much fun and interesting things to talk about, you will want to see each other again. That’s a match right there. There is no need to impress.
Speed dating is an exciting way of meeting new people when you come to an event with a positive attitude. Look at the event as a fun experience and a good way to meet new people rather then serious activity, and you will get a lot of matches that you like.
译文:
闪电约会的刺激和陷阱
闪电约会是一种很好的与人初次见面的方式。你知道所有的人都是单身，而且人们见你竟然还是要付钱的。这听上去好像是梦想实现了。的确，是的，但是闪电约会也有其潜在的陷阱。在本文中，我将谈谈其中的一些陷阱，并讨论下如何去避免。少犯错，就可以在初次见面后多些配对的机会，多些约会。
当你在闪电约会的时候你可能会有这样的烦恼。你感觉你和共同赴约的一些女性还挺有缘，但是几天之后，你的邮箱中却迟迟没有她们的来信。如果发生了这种情况，你很可能会责备你见过的每个女性，责备她们不喜欢你，或者你可能会为自己辩解—--自己不喜欢她们中的任何一个。你也可能会陷入绝望且认为没有人喜欢你。让我来告诉你更好的解决办法，帮你找到在闪电约会中的犯的错，使你可在今后的闪电约会中结识更多的女性，更多你中意的女性。
我的建议是提前几分钟到约会地点，这样的话你就可以有充分的时间点一杯饮料，感到更自在些，而不是迟到一会，匆匆进入角色。
我们在约会之前都会花很多时间用在衣着打扮上，却很少用在调整思维模式上。这可能是男士们犯下的最大的错误，因为他们花了太多的时间在穿着上，没有足够的时间来想自己怎样表现得更风趣幽默些，更有魅力些。女士们会有自信的男人才是很有魅力的人。你必须精心打扮，因为，在这个时代，我们必须去面对它，这会给人先入为主的印象。
第二步是你必须为此次约会做好准备，从衣着打扮的时间里省五分钟出来，提醒下自己女性们来参加此次约会的原因，一个来见你的原因：一个风趣，放松和自信的男士。要做到这几点，回想下你以前成功的经历，提醒下你自己你曾经是怎样面对这些挑战并征服它们的。你可以听听音乐变得自信些，或用些慷慨激昂的话来鼓励下自己，你可以做任何你平时做的事情来保持你的性格。你要提醒下自己是个酷酷的很看重自己的男士，这样女性们才会觉得你有魅力，且希望更了解你。
当我们不是很了解别人的是时候，我们首先会试着去了解这个人的方方面面。他住在哪里？在哪里工作？他的兄弟姐妹怎样？这些问题问得很好，但是在交谈刚开始时千万别这么问。事实上，如果你能不问这些问题的话，更好。你一定要让这个闪电约会变得更有趣些。你可以说说你最近的旅行或是你在新闻中得知的有趣的事。现在你应该准备好了吧。闪电约会并不意味着无聊的约会。所以，不要把这个约会看得太严肃，因为它毕竟不是求职面试。你可以先以一个笑话开场，然后发起一些你感兴趣的话题。记住，对话的时间最好保持在几分钟内。老是问些冗长乏味的问题不会给人留下多深刻的印象，只会让人觉得无聊，所以一定要风趣些。
很多男士都希望给女生留下深刻的印象，但是他们不知道的是当他们努力这么做的时候，却会给人迫不及待的感觉。如果你开始迫不及待了，那么你要找的也绝不是一个伴侣。记住，你心宜的她会在那里是因为你是一个风趣幽默的男士。千万不要滔滔不绝地一个人在那里讲，你应让对方也适时地提些问题，参与到谈话中来。除非在不得已的情况下，千万不要炫耀你的名车及收入可观的工作。如果你可以抱着一颗平常心，那么你们的见面和约会将乐趣无穷。你应该抱着参与为主的心态去参加每次的闪电约会，而不是苛求马上可以有单独的约会。这两者的导致的最终结果是截然不同的。如果你们相得甚欢，那么即使你有说不完的话，你也要适时地让对方发发言。如果你们真的有很多共同语言，聊的很畅快，这是好事，这说明你们都希望再次见面。这才是真正的配对，不需要为了给对方留下印象而刻意让其记住你。
如果你抱着积极的态度，那么闪电约会是结识新朋友的好方法。如果你把此次约会看做是一次有趣的经历，一个结识新朋友的方式，而不是把它看做是严肃的活动，那么你也许会找到真正你喜欢的另一伴。