This is a guest post from Connie Prater, a senior writer at CreditCards.com. Connie considers herself a savvy consumer, a mom, a penny-pincher/tightwad and an above average Scrabble player.
Does he or she send you flowers at work? Wine and dine you at the best restaurants every weekend? Wear designer threads and always gets tickets to the hottest concerts?
Living the life of the rich and fabulous — à la Paris Hilton and the "baller" set — costs money. If your mate doesn't have the income (or a trust fund) to support this spending, you should be suspicious. As David Jones, president of the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies, says, financial woes are often relationship killers.
"Today, we see that family financial difficulties are probably responsible more for spousal abuse and child abuse and low performance on the job than substance abuse. It's a big cause of divorce," says Jones. "It's been shown in actual studies to be the biggest contributor to low productivity at work as well. It's a very serious thing in this country. We obviously need better education about it and to be financially aware."
That said, my colleagues at CreditCards.com have helped me compile some advice for those who think they have found the right mate only to realize he or she is really Mr. or Ms. 300 — as in 300 FICO credit score:
1. The numbers just don't add up. Is he or she earning enough in salary to support their lavish lifestyle? Figure out approximately how much he might make, add up the cost of the dinner, theater tickets, the car, etc. If there's no way he could be paying off the balance each month, then he's carrying hefty credit card debt.
2. Diva to the max? Is she perfectly coifed? Designer fingernails? Spa treatment twice a month? Boob jobs? Chances are she may be maxed out on the credit cards.
3. Getting mysterious phone calls. It could be another love interest, but it could also be a debt collector calling and calling.
4. Racing to the mailbox. A mate who sprints to the mailbox every day during the week when the credit card bill usually arrives can be a sign of trouble and efforts to hide credit card purchases. (Honey, did we buy something from an escort service last month?)
5. Honey, can I get a loan? A mate who utters this sentence: "I just know that the (Pick one: lawsuit settlement; inheritance; big lottery win) is going to come in any day now." (Often followed by "And can I borrow $200 until then?") Watch for requests to "borrow" your credit card or if he or she doesn't have a credit card of their own.
6. Everything on plastic. This could mean several things. Your mate has figured out how to maximize rewards points and get the most from his or her credit cards by charging everything. Or, it could mean they don't have any cash left in their checking and savings account.
7. Bar hopping. Everybody likes the guy who picks up the tab at the club. This high-roller probably wins the popularity contest but loses the credit check. If you're looking for a long-term relationship, avoid him. If not, have a drink. It's on him.
8. Moving a lot. Changing jobs and apartments frequently is not a sign of stability. In fact, dodging debt could be the reason.
9. Candlelight meals. Okay. This is romantic, but the apartment may be darkened not for the ambiance but because the utilities were shut off for nonpayment.
10. A wallet full of plastic. If that bulge in their wallet is a wad of credit cards, it could give you a clue about their FICO credit score. "If somebody has 45 credit cards, they will have a low score because they have too much credit available to them compared to their income and ability to pay," says Jones, the consumer credit counseling association president.
11. The bare minimum? Ask if they are making minimum payments on their credit cards. If so, they will be paying that debt off for many years to come. Kiss your comfortable retirement good-bye and the kids' college fund too.
Disclaimer: Some of these signs may be red flags for other problems. It's up to you to figure out what's really going on.
Don't let the suit fool you
Bankers and other well-educated people get into trouble with credit card debt. "There are a lot of educated people — stock brokers, lawyers and doctors — who are in debt management plans. We see them with $70,000, $80,000 and $90,000 in credit card debt. It's amazing the level of financial illiteracy we see in otherwise well-educated people," says Jones.
Have a heart to heart about money
Ask their philosophy on saving versus consuming. Where does he or she want to be in 10 years? Owning property, starting a company of their own? Living with you on your dime? Be leery if the answers are vague.
Says Jones: "Talk about it openly." He says there's definitely a gender gap when it comes to finances. "Men will just absolutely refuse to admit they have any trouble whatsoever dealing with money. Women are more likely to admit there's trouble. The woman of the house realizes what kind of trouble they're in and reaches out for help. Men won't. It's like asking for directions."
译文:
11种迹象表明你的伴侣有信用问题
这是Connie Prater发布在我们博客上的一篇文章，而她则是
CreditCards.com的资深作家。Connie认为她自己是一个理性的消费者、一个母亲、一个吝啬鬼以及一个填字游戏的不错的玩家。
他或她在你工作的时候送你鲜花吗？每个周末带你去最好的餐馆吃吃喝喝吗？穿着高级的时装并且总是有最热门的演唱会门票？
过着富裕和奢华的生活会花费大量的金钱——就像帕里斯.希尔顿与“baller”系列。如果你的伴侣没有这样的收入（或者一个信托基金）来支撑这些花费，你就应该怀疑了。独立消费者信用咨询代理联盟的主席大卫.琼斯说财政上的悲哀往往是双方关系的杀手。
琼斯说：“今天，我们看到家庭的财务困难可能是由于在配偶或者孩子身上滥用金钱以及庸庸碌碌的工作，而不是因为在物质上滥用金钱。这是离婚的一个很大的原因。”“在实际的研究中显示，这也工作中低生产的罪魁祸首。在这个国家，这是一个非常严重的事情。明显地，我们需要更好的有关于此的教育以及在财务上的觉悟。”
1. 数字只是没有累加起来。他或者她每月能赚到足够的薪水来支付他们铺张的生活方式吗？计算出他大约赚到多少，合计一下晚餐、剧院门票、汽车等的费用。如果他每月收支不能平衡，那么他正背着庞大的卡债。
2. 刷爆了信用卡？她是不是戴着漂亮的头巾？设计了指甲？一个月做两次spa？工作却很平庸？很有可能她的信用卡已经刷爆了。
4. 奔向邮箱。你的伴侣，如果他在信用卡账单寄到的那个礼拜天天奔向邮箱，那么这可能是麻烦和努力隐藏信用卡账单的表现。（亲爱的，我们在上个月有定陪护服务么？）
5. 亲爱的，我可以借点钱吗？一个伴侣说出这样的话：“我只知道现在这（选择一个：诉讼解决；遗产；中了彩票）随时都会来临。”（通常他还会说“我可以借200美金直到拿到那笔钱么？”）小心他问你借信用卡的要求或者他或她是不是真的没有自己的信用卡。
6. 什么都刷卡。这可能意味着几件事情。你的伴侣明白到如何用信用卡刷所有的东西来拿到
最多的积分。或者，这可能意味着在他们的账户里没有任何的现金留下。
7. 常去泡吧。任何人都喜欢在
俱乐部里替人付账的人。这些参加很多活动的人可能会赢得很高的人气但是却输了信用检查。如果你追求的是长期的人际关系，那么避开那些人。如果你要的不是长期的人际关系，那么就去和他们喝酒吧。这由他决定。
8. 改变了很多。频繁的更换工作和公寓不是稳定的迹象。事实上，躲避债务可能是这样做的原因。
9. 烛光晚餐。好了。烛光晚餐是浪漫的，但是把公寓调暗可能并不是为了好的气氛，而是因为关掉这些可以节省点钱。
10. 皮夹里塞满了卡片。如果他们的皮包了鼓鼓的塞满了信用卡，这可能会给你们关于他们的FICO信用记录的线索。消费者信用咨询联盟主席琼斯说：“如果某个人有45张信用卡，那么他们会有一个很低的信用记录，因为他们有太多的信用卡可用，但是却没有那么多的收入和能力去偿还。”
11. 赤裸裸的最小值？问问他们是不是正使用信用卡的
最低还款额度。如果是这样的话，他们将会用许多年来还清他们的债务。你只好和你舒适的退休生活和孩子的教育基金吻别了。
否认的声明：这些迹象中的一些可能是其他问题的危险信号。由你来决定真正发生了什么。
不要让外表来迷惑你
银行家和其他接受过良好教育的人们陷入了信用卡债务的麻烦。琼斯说：“有很多受过教育的人们——股票经纪人、律师和医生——他们都身处债务管理计划之中。我们看到他们分别有70000美金、80000美金以及90000美金的信用卡债务。我很惊异这些在其他方面受过良好教育的人们在财务方面的文盲程度。”
对钱发发慈悲
问问他们从消费中节约金钱的哲学。他或者她在10年后想去哪里？拥有财产、开始他们自己的公司？用你的一角银币生活下去?如果你的答案是模糊的话，就变得机灵一点。
琼斯说：”公开的谈论它。”他说在财务方面有明显的性别之间的差异。“男人绝对会拒绝承认他们有任何的金钱方面的问题。女人则更可能承认她们有财务上的问题。家庭主妇们了解到她们陷入了怎样的困境，并且外出寻求帮助。男人就不会这样。就像被问路一样。”