顿悟

读者: 6929    发布时间: 2008

原文: Epiphanies to Come

Love Conversation Community
If at first the idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it.
-- Albert Einstein

These days I have the sense that some kind of epiphany is near, some sudden understanding that has eluded me up until now. I have been learning and letting myself change at an unprecedented rate over the past two years, and I know more change is in the cards. Somehow I know that this next great change in my ideas, my philosophy, my intentions, will be about simplicity, about making things easier. Our lives are too hard, too complicated, too busy. And most of the people I know are not very happy.

I am happier than I have ever been, but I am disturbed that I have lost some good friends in the process, mostly because I just don't have enough time to be everything that everyone I love wants me to be for them. I am disturbed that my life is too busy, that I don't have enough time to just think and pay attention. I am disturbed that I cannot articulate what has happened to me and what I now believe, to those who, until recently, were sailing alongside me in my amazing journey of discovery and self-realization.

The first great epiphany* in my life came in my last year of high school, when I suddenly discovered how to write, and that I loved to write and to read and to learn and to discover. My second great epiphany came just six years ago, when I began seriously studying anthropology, the history of culture and the philosophy of science. That epiphany was the realization that the way we live now is not the only way to live, that the presence of humans on this planet was an improbable accident, a serendipitous occurrence, and that our modern, 30,000-year-old civilization was not a natural evolution but rather a gut-wrenching and massively 'unpopular' adaptation to a series of crises that threatened our species extinction, a cultural lobotomy. My Save the World Reading List documents this learning voyage for me. I have always been a naturalist, an environmentalist, and it seemed obvious to me that by studying nature we could find better, more natural, more joyful ways to live today, in communion with all-life-on-Earth.

The third epiphany, and the one that this blog has largely documented, occurred almost three years ago when I read John Gray's Straw Dogs, and suddenly realized that trying to 'save the world' from civilization's excesses was futile. He provides a compelling argument that our civilization is in its last century and then concludes:

Political action has come to be a surrogate for salvation; but no political project can deliver humanity from its natural condition. However radical, political programmes are expedients -- modest devices for coping with recurring evils. Hegel writes that humanity will be content only when it lives in a world of its own making. In contrast, Straw Dogs argues for a shift from human solipsism [belief in our aloneness and our disconnection from everything else]. Humans cannot save the world, but this is no reason for despair. It does not need saving. Happily, humans will never live in a world of their own making.

Since then I've been refocused, as my blog masthead now says, on 'finding a better way to live and make a living, and a better understanding of how the world really works'. That 'better way' has been and, I thought, would continue to be, through walking away from civilization (as Daniel Quinn describes it and as Bucky Fuller espoused) instead of confronting it, and Letting-Myself-Change to become a model, and to develop models, based on Love, Conversation and Community, of a better way to live. Life's meaning emerges from conversation in community with people you love, I've concluded.

I am at heart an uncomplicated guy. I'm perhaps even lazy -- I don't like working hard. I want things to be simple, easy, natural. I'm an incorrigible idealist -- I am in love with imagined possibilities, especially when those possibilities are rooted in how humans apparently lived before civilization, and how wild creatures have always lived. I don't think life should be hard, or was meant to be hard. It makes far more sense, from an evolutionary perspective, for life to be easy, carefree, full of fun. I think this is what I observe when I study wild creatures and I think this is how humans lived before they left their natural rainforest habitat.

I think I was born a century too early -- I believe that, once our terrible (though well-intentioned) civilization has collapsed, the world of the future will again be joyful, easy, natural, full of Love, Conversation and Community. In this future world there will at last, again, be time and space to live a natural life. In our overcrowded world there is neither, and we are so effectively indoctrinated by modern propaganda that we can't imagine another way to live than the only life we know.

I have great respect for those who don't share my infatuation with creating Model Intentional Communities (MICs): A few examples:
  1. Dave Smith quotes Wendell Berry as saying ICs are "a rather escapist idea". I love Berry's work, but I have always had reservations about his orthodox religious views. He believes the world is the way it is because of God's will, so it is not surprising he is offended by the idea that 'God's creation' is a total fuck-up. Why, why, why, should we not have the ability 'to pick our own neighbour'? It is only impossible today because we have been brainwashed to believe we have the (God-given) right to so overpopulate and pollute the planet that we must live cheek-to-jowl at the expense of all other life on Earth.
  2. Stephen Downes worries that IC's "take us into an environment where all our transactions are group transactions". It fascinates me how well we have all become indoctrinated by the culture of individualism. What will it take before we realize that 'we' are not individuals, but merely containers for our body's organs, which evolved 'our' brains and consciousness as their feature-detection system? When will we get past this dangerous delusion that we do, or ever can, 'possess' land, property, people or other creatures? That we have 'rights'? A transaction is nothing more than an exchange. To the extent it is an exchange of information, such an exchange is, ideally, collective. To the extent it is an exchange of 'property', it is either a gift, an equalization of Gaia's resources, or it is a transfer of the proceeds of theft. Why are we so frightened of being collective, a part of community, belonging to the land, and a part of all-life-on-Earth? What do we have to hide?
  3. Dave Snowden argues that (a) IC's are a retreat into isolationism and a breeding ground for cult behaviour, (b) no 'natural' community has ever been egalitarian, and (c) MIC's are over-prescribed and a distraction from more important political and social actions that our world needs. Dave is a brilliant thinker and an extraordinary debater, and he is of course entitled to his opinion. But it is exactly that -- an opinion, based on his worldview, which does not jibe with mine. My 'prescription' for MICs is evolutionary, diverse and well-connected with each other, the very antithesis of isolationism and cultism. It is hard for me to imagine anything more isolated than the modern 'nuclear' family, except perhaps orthodox religious sects, Gulags and factory farms -- these areall modern social constructs designed to enhance propaganda and conceal outrages from public scrutiny. My reading of history and anthropology is that all natural communities are egalitarian, but then I had to work past the psychological dogma that equates self-organization and alpha behaviour in animals with human hierarchy (which is nonsense), and the political propaganda that portrays 'pre-historic' humans' lives as 'nasty, short and brutish' (when the opposite was true). My 'prescription' for qualities for an MIC was a starting-point only, a list of capacities and principles that I think I would like to see in people I lived in community with. A 'model' is exactly that -- an example, hopefully one that works and can be adapted by others, not a cookie-cutter template that permits of no variation or evolution. As for MICs being a distraction from other important social, economic and political innovation and work (Dave cites microlending as an example) I can only say that I can't imagine a better location for incubating such inventions than an MIC.
I really don't see much point in getting into debates with people who think my intention to focus my energies on Love, Conversation and Community is ill-conceived, impractical, or a distraction from more important work (or worse). I agree with Lakoff, and Daniel Quinn, that there is no changing the minds of people who see the world through a completely different lens or worldview. I hate arguing, and I don't like being baited (e.g. Dave Snowden in his post gleefully linked to a blogger who was so offended by my proposed MIC that he wanted to find it, "burn down the walls and glory in its destruction" -- I would have thought Dave above that kind of provocation).

While I am unfazed by the critiques of my stance on MICs and on polyamorism, and intend to make both important elements of my life, I confess that the criticisms bother me, mostly because I think they represent a misunderstanding of what I'm saying, and proposing to do. I take responsibility for that misunderstanding -- as a writer my meaning should be clear. If people understand but don't like what I'm saying, that's another matter, one that doesn't concern me. But the misunderstandings concern me. So just to be clear:
  • The capacities and principles (including poly) I'd like to see in my MIC are negotiable, and they'll evolve as collectively agreed upon by the members of the MIC. They're not for every MIC.
  • The MIC I am a part of will have no leader. It will be responsive and responsible and sustainable and connected to other ICs and open (as a working model) for others to explore and learn about and discuss. It will be a place of innovation and collaboration, and it will be generous with what it creates.
  • I'm not trying to build a Utopia. There is no such thing and no such place. You can be an idealist without being an ideologue. I just want to be part of a place built on love and conversation, where life is easy, simple, meaningful, joyful. That's not Utopian, it's natural. Even in today's terrible, overcrowded world.
I've quoted Einstein above (another guy with a great admiration for simplicity) because the vituperative nature of much of the response to my ideas has convinced me, more than anything else, that I'm on to something important.

I thought it was interesting that, in her new book, Diana Leafe Christian, recognized as the authority on ICs (she's lived in several and spent a lot of time visiting and studying others), identifies almost exactly the same capacities that "work well" in ICs that I did in my post: high degree of "self-confidence, self-acceptance and self-esteem, assertiveness, humility, willingness to listen and learn, to serve, and to contribute to something larger than yourself". Her arguments for joining or forming an IC if you have these qualities include lessening ecological footprint, being healthier, experiencing connection and having more fun. She doesn't wax on them being 'models'. But these sound like good models of how to live to me. And these are working models, not just some debatable theory.

Absurd, eh? Maybe there's hope for it.

*It is perhaps ironic that I'm using the word 'epiphany' to refer to a sudden realization or manifestation of meaning. The word has been thoroughly co-opted by organized Western religion, but I'm using it in its original sense of 'something that suddenly appears'.

译文: 顿悟


 

如果一个新观点不荒唐,那也没有希望被发扬.
--
阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦


这些天我总有一种感觉,有一种灵感在靠近我,这些思想的火花乍隐乍现,但终于被我捕捉到了。在过去两年里,我不断地学习,发现自己以前所未有的速度在进行着改变,并且我知道自己还会有更多改变。不知怎么,我能感知自己下一个伟大的转折点,我的思想观、人生观、以及未来的打算都要受到影响,我要做个简单的人,将万事看开些。我们的生活太冷酷,太复杂,太忙碌。我认识的许多人,都不怎么快乐。

我比以前快乐许多,但也有几分困惑:我为此失去了一些要好的朋友,因为现在的我来不及讨好我所爱的每一个人,来不及扮演他们希望的每一个角色;我的生活太忙碌,没有足够的时间去思考,去感悟;我甚至不能清楚地看到,在我身上到底发生了什么;我现在只相信在发现和自我实现这个奇幻旅程里,陪同着我的那些旅伴。


在我高中最后一年,第一次,我有了个伟大的想法,那时我突然发现,原来写作就是这样的,这激发了我对写作的热爱,对阅读的热爱,对学习的热爱,和对发现新生事物的热爱。第二个伟大的想法六年后才迟迟到来,那时我准备认真开始研究人类学,文化史和与科学有关的哲学问题。这次顿悟让我明白:在历史的长河里,我们现在的生活方式只是一种存在形式,而且不是唯一的,在这个星球上,人类的出现只是进化路上一个尴尬的小插曲,一次意外的机缘巧合,我们长达3万年的人类文明不是一个自然而然的过程,相反,人类这个不受欢迎的物种要适应自然,是经过了一场场撕心裂肺的斗争和艰难的适应过程,时刻面临着一系列严峻的、足以毁灭我们族群的挑战。然后,人类的文明,将自然的文明切断。我的《拯救地球参考书目》记录下了我的认知过程。我向来信奉自然,作为一个环境主义者,通过研究自然,我认为,我们显然可以为今天找出更好,更自然,更富乐趣的生存方式,与地球上所有的生命和谐共存,岂不其乐融融?


我的第三次顿悟大概发生在三年前,我在这篇博客里将要花大量篇幅阐叙,那时我在读约翰·格雷的《稻草狗》一书,我突然意识到试图从失控的所谓文明中“拯救世界”的行动是无意义的。他提出了一个令人信服的观点:我们的文明已经行将就木:政治活动已经日渐成为救急的工具,且没有哪个政治纲领能真正解放全人类,将人类从愚昧的混沌状态解脱出来。不管多么激进的政治方案都只是暂时的---是用来应付不断出现的恶势力的权宜之计。黑格尔写下:人类只有活在自己掌控的世界里才能满足。而《稻草狗》则相反,它呼吁人类应该从唯我主义[ 认为人类是单独存在的,将人类与其他一切事物割裂开来的一种观念 ]中解放出来。人类不能解救世界,但是也没有理由绝望。不存在,也不需要什么救世主。幸好,人类绝对不会生活在一个事事皆能掌控的世界里。


从那时起我重新定位我的目标,就像我博客标题所说的,专注于“寻找一个更好的生活方式,更好地理解这个世界到底是怎样一回事”。我不会再仰慕文明(就像Daniel Quinn Bucky Fuller所描述和支持的那种文明),我已经在背离文明世界的那条道路上找到了那个“更好的方式”,而且,我认为我会继续发现更多。让《改变自我》成为追求更好生活方式的一种理念,并衍生出更多建立在爱,沟通,和共享基础上的生存理念。我认定:生活的意义在于与你所爱的人沟通和分享。

我骨子里就是个简单的人,可能还有点懒惰---我不喜欢努力工作。我想把事情变得简单、容易、自然,我是一个无可救药的理想主义者---沉溺于想象各种可能发生的事情,尤其是根植于人类文明以前的事情:原始的人类是怎么生活的,野生动植物长久以来是怎么生存。我不认为生存是艰难的,或者意味着艰难。从进化的观点看,活得轻松,自在,有趣才让生命变得意义重大。我想这就是我在研究野生动植物时所观察到的,并且我认为这就是人类没有离开原始森林栖息地前的生存方式。

我想我应该一百年后再出生---我相信,一旦糟糕的现代文明(尽管出发点是好的)开始坍塌,未来世界将又变得轻松、自然、充满乐趣和真爱,沟通和分享将无处不在。最终,在这个未来的世界里,人们又将有时间、空间去过自然的生活。在现今这个拥挤的环境下,我们没有时间,也缺乏空间。被现代社会的各种宣传攻势所俘虏,我们无法逃脱现有的条条框框去构想另外一种生活。
我痴迷于创造一种能动的示范社区(MICs),对于那些与我观点不一致的人,我也满怀敬意:比方说如下言论:
   1.    
大卫·史密斯(Dave Smith)引用温德尔·贝瑞(Wendell Berry)的话说示范社区(ICs)是“极端逃避主义思想”。我喜欢贝瑞的作品,但是我对他的正统的宗教观点持保留态度。他认为,世界按照上帝的意愿变成了现今的模样。他被那些认为“上帝造物说”是狗屁的人气的要死也就不奇怪了。为什么,为什么,到底是为什么?我们就不应该自由地去“选择我们的邻居”吗?就是不能!因为今天的我们已经被洗脑,只相信天赋人权,我们就可以大量繁殖,可以随意污染,我们就以其它所有生物的牺牲为代价满足我们的胡作非为。

     2.   史蒂芬·道恩斯(Stephen Downes)担忧示范社区(ICs)“将我们带到了一个尴尬的境地:所有的交易都是集体行为”。这个观点激发了我的兴趣:我们已经在多大程度上受到了个人主义的洗礼呢? “我们”不是一些个体,最初的我们仅仅是装载我们身体各个器官的容器,是进化让我们的心智发展成为自身的功能检测系统,这些事实,要花多大的代价才能让我们认识到呢?我们什么时候才能摆脱这种危险的蛊惑,这种认为我们确实,或者任何时候都可以“占领”土地、财产、人民和其它生灵的的蛊惑?我们有这个“权利”吗?交易不过是场交换活动。如果交换的内容是信息,这种交换理想化点儿就可以看成集体的,共有的;如果交换的是财产,那要么是个礼物,就像盖亚女神赐予我们的那样,要么就是分赃,就像盗贼们一样。如此惧怕共同拥有,害怕成为社区的一份子,害怕归属于大地,害怕成为地球上所有生命的一员,这又是为什么呢?我们要非得要掩盖什么呢?

      3.     戴夫·斯诺登(Dave Snowden)表示:(a)示范社区是倒退到孤立主义,也是狂热崇拜行为滋生的温床, (b)平等主义从来不存在于“自然”形成的团体内并且 (c)示范社区过度干预并且分散了原本应该投入到对我们社会更重要的政治和社会活动。戴夫是个才华出众的思想家,一个杰出的辩论者,他当然有权维持他的意见,但是,确切地说,他表达的是建立在他的世界观上的意见,而不是建立在我之上的。我给示范社区开的“药方”具有前瞻性,多样性并且彼此融洽,这些正是孤立主义和狂热崇拜的对立面。我很难想象还有什么比现代“核心”家庭更孤立的存在,可能除了正统的宗教教派,劳改营和工厂化农场---这些都是现代的社会构造,为巩固某种观念,并将骇人听闻的事件规避在公众监管之外。从我对历史和人类学的解读来看,所有自然群体都是平等的,但是我不得不先摆脱那些将自我组织和动物的主要行为与人类的等级制度相提并论的教条心理(当然,这个理论也是胡说),主流言论将史前人类的生活描述成为“恶劣、低级和野蛮的”(事实正好相反)。我仅将示范社区定性为一个起点,一个清单,我能在上面列出与我共同居住在社区里的人们的种种能力和道义准则。“模型”准确地说是指---一个实例,如果运转顺利的话能被他人所接受,而不是那种容不得特色和改进,将所有东西都变成千篇一律的生产机器。因为示范社区与其他重要的社会、经济和政治革新和机制(戴夫引用借贷网络)为例,我只能说我想象不到能有比示范社区更好地培育这种构想的地方。

我倾注所有投身于真爱、沟通、共享的社区理念,但是有人认为这个理念是拙劣、不实际的,是在背离更有意义的工作(或者更糟),我真的觉得纠结于和这些人的辩论是毫无意义的。我同意拉考夫Lakoff和丹尼尔·奎恩Daniel Quinn的观点,他们认为那些用完全不同的视角或世界观来看待社会的人的想法是没法改变的。我讨厌争执,我也不愿意被刻意激怒(比方说:戴夫·斯诺登Dave Snowden在他的报纸上欣然链接了一个博客,该博客的主人被我提议的示范社区所激怒,他想看着示范社区“在烈火中坍塌,光荣地毁灭”---我本该认为戴夫比那种寻滋挑衅的人要高明一点)。


面对那些针对我在示范社区和博爱观点立场的人,我很坦然,并且将这二者归入我生活中的重要的部分,但是我承认那些批判让我困扰,主要是因为我认为这些批判来自于对我所言所行的误解。我对那些误解要负起责任来---作为一个作家我的观点应该表述得清楚准确。如果人们理解但是不喜欢我的言论,那就得另当别论了,那倒不会使我烦恼。但是那些误解就让我困扰。所以再澄清一下:

·                                 我期望在我的示范社区里看到的活动和规范(包括博爱)是可以协调的,他们会随着社区成员的协商而不断发展变化。那些不是适应于每一个示范社区的。

·                                 示范社区将没有领导者,我只是其中的一员。它将是能动的,对成员负责的,并且可持续发展的,社区间相互联系,并且对其他来探究、学习和讨论的人开放。它将成为一个有创新,有合作的地方,并且对新生事物有很好的包容性。

·                                 我不是想建立一个乌托邦。也不存在乌托邦这个东西。你可以是个理想主义者,而不必被看做是个唯心主义者。我只是想成为一个真爱和沟通团体里的一员,那样生活将变得容易,简单,愉快而有意义。这不是空想的,这是一种自然存在。即使在今天这个焦虑,拥挤的世界里依然可以存在。

 

我前面引用了爱因斯坦(另一个热切向往简单生活的人)的话,因为带着恶意的言论比任何时候都让我相信:我所做的事情还是挺重要的

我认为这很有趣,在Diana Leafe Christian(被认为是示范社区的权威人士,她曾在很多地方居住,并且花大量的时间访问和研究别人)的新书里我看到了和我理论相仿的言论:高度“自信、自我肯定和自尊,坚持执着而又谦逊自持,乐意倾听,不断学习,乐于奉献并愿意为有意义的事情奉献自身”。对于那些不愿扰乱自然环境,健康生活,喜欢交流并乐此不疲的人,她建议可以去加入或者组建一个示范社区。她并不鼓吹他们是“典范”。但是这些都是教导我怎样生活的好的例子。并且这些不仅仅是值得争议的理论,还是一个个有效的实例。

很荒谬,不是吗?也许真的有希望哦。

我用“顿悟”这个词来来表达“突然间意识到”或者“意义凸显”这样两种意思。这个词的词义已经被西方宗教彻底挪用,而我只是引用其原始意义:“突然出现的事物”。