What does it mean to be a man today? How can men consciously express their masculinity without becoming cold or closed-hearted on the one hand… or wimpy and emasculated on the other? What’s the most loving way for a conscious man to express himself?
Here are 10 ways to live more consciously as a man:
1. Make real decisions.
A man understands and respects the power of choice. He lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a clear path.
When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. He locks onto his target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach his target, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees. He simply enjoys the sense of inevitability that comes from pushing the launch button.
A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man is following his heart-centered path, it’s of little consequence if the entire world is against him.
2. Put your relationships second.
A man who claims his #1 commitment in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either too dishonest or too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.
A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not willing to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility that comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate his own values.
Life will test the man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles. The man will be offered many temptations to expose his true loyalties. A man’s greatest reward is to live with integrity, and his greatest punishment is what he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above his integrity. Whenever the man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He becomes an object of pity.
3. Be willing to fail.
A man is willing to make mistakes. He’s willing to be wrong. He’d rather try and fail than do nothing.
A man’s self-trust is one of his greatest assets. When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he diminishes himself. An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but he doesn’t preoccupy himself with pointless worry. He accepts that if a failure outcome occurs, he can deal with it.
A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk. When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge.
4. Be confident.
A man speaks and acts with confidence. He owns his attitude.
A man doesn’t adopt a confident posture because he knows he’ll succeed. He often knows that failure is a likely outcome. But when the odds of success are clearly against him, he still exudes confidence. It isn’t because he’s ignorant or suffering from denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength to transcend his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable allies.
A man is willing to be defeated by the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he stops trusting himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear.
5. Express love actively.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the first to say “I love you.” Waiting for someone else to make the first move is unbecoming of him. The universe does not respond positively to his hesitation. Only when he’s in motion do the floodgates of abundance open.
Man is the out-breath of source energy. It is his job — his duty — to share his love with the world. He must wean himself from suckling the energy of others and become a vibrant transmitter of energy himself. He must allow that energy to flow from source, through him, and into the world. When he assumes this role, he has no doubt he is living as his true self.
6. Re-channel sex energy.
A man doesn’t hide his sexuality. If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies for his nature.
A man is careful not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing the energy rising, expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire body and beyond.)
A man channels his sexual energy into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within him, driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows his sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.
7. Face your fears.
For a man, being afraid of something is reason enough to do it. A man’s fear is a call to be tested. When a man hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment with his true self. He feels weak, depressed, and helpless. No matter how hard he tries to comfort himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome his inner feeling of dread. Only when facing his fears does a man experience peace.
A man makes a friend of risk. He doesn’t run and hide from the tests of fear. He turns toward them and engages them boldly.
A man succeeds or fails. A coward never makes the attempt. Specific outcomes are of less concern to a man than his direction.
A man feels like a man whenever he faces the right way, staring straight into his fears. He feels even more like a man when he advances in the direction of his fears, as if sailing on the winds of an inner scream.
8. Honor the masculinity of other men.
When a man sees a male friend undertaking a new venture that will clearly lead to failure, what does the man do? Does he warn his friend off such a path? No, the man encourages his friend to continue. The man knows it’s better for his friend to strike out confidently and learn from the failure experience. The man honors his friend’s decision to reach out and make the attempt. The man won’t deny his friend the benefits of a failure experience. The man may offer his friend guidance, but he knows his friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop self-trust and courage.
When you see a man at the gym struggling to lift a heavy weight, do you jump in and say, “Here… let me help you with that. Maybe the two of us can lift it together”? No, that would rob him of the growth experience — and probably make a quick enemy of him as well.
The male path is filled with obstacles. It typically includes more failures than successes. These obstacles help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through repeated failures a man learns to persist in the pursuit of worthy goals and to abandon goals that are unworthy of him.
A man can handle being knocked down many times. For every physical setback he experiences, he enjoys a spiritual advancement, and that is enough for him.
9. Accept responsibility for your relationships.
A man chooses his friends, lovers, and associates consciously. He actively seeks out the company of people who inspire and challenge him, and he willingly sheds those who hold him back.
A man doesn’t blame others for his relationship problems. When a relationship is no longer compatible with his heart-centered path, he initiates the break-up and departs without blame or guilt.
A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate such behavior.
A man teaches others how to treat him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his life. A man refuses to fill his life with negative or destructive relationships; he knows that’s a form of self-abuse.
10. Die well.
A man’s great challenge is to develop the inner strength to express his true self. He must learn to share his love with the world without holding back. When a man is satisfied that he’s done that, he can make peace with death. But if he fails to do so, death becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life.
A man cannot die well unless he lives well. A man lives well when he accepts his mortality and draws strength from knowing that his physical existence is temporary. When a man faces and accepts the inevitability of death… when he learns to see death as his ally instead of his enemy… he’s finally able to express his true self. So a man isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead.
How to Be a Woman?
Now who will write “How to Be a Woman”? 
I’ll tell you what. If you can write the “How to Be a Woman” article, go ahead and post it on your site, and email me a link to it. Next week I’ll make a post linking to all the quality submissions. Erin and I will select the article we consider the most insightful, and that link will be given special prominence at the top of the results post. So basically the prize is a permanent link and free traffic.
I’ll only link to new articles I believe offer genuine value to the reader (i.e. interesting, original ideas), so don’t bother submitting a sloppily written fluff piece or an old article just to get a link. I’d rather link to 5 thoughtful articles than 50 mediocre ones. If you can write reasonably well, you should be fine.
There are no requirements for how you format such an article (you don’t have to follow the ten-item format above). You can use any personal style you like, including writing a strictly humorous piece. The main consideration is how much value and insight you deliver.
Let’s give this a deadline of about 4 days, so all submissions must be received by 7pm PST (that’s GMT-8) on Tuesday, May 13. I’ll post the results as soon as Erin and I have had sufficient time to review the submissions. I’ve never done this before, so I have no idea how many submissions we’ll get, but I imagine it will be somewhere between 1 and 50.
You don’t have to be a woman to submit a “How to Be a Woman” article, but there’s a good chance it will help.
P.S. If you happen to be offended by all or part of this article, you should be able to find plenty more articles that offend you in the Archives.
译文:
怎样做一个男人
现在，做一个男人意味着什么呢？男人如何才能明智的表现他们不是冷漠小气不是懦弱而是有男子气概的呢？一个明智的男人最喜欢用什么样的表方式自己呢？
以下是10种让男人们活得更为明智的方法。
1. 做出真正的决定。
男人了解和尊重选择的力量。他的生活由自己创造。他知道，不做决定，生活会停滞不前；相反，选择一条清晰的道路，生活会欣欣向荣。男人做出一个决定，就是开了一扇自己想要的门而关上那一扇不想要的。他锁定目标明确得如同导弹一般。他知道自己并没有一定会达成目标的保证，但是他并不需要这样的保证。他只是简单的享受按下发射键那种纯粹的感觉。
男人并不苛求别人对他的肯定。他只是追寻心底那股引领他的力量。男人走心中的路，即使全世界都反对他，那都不重要。
2. 把你的个人关系放在第二位。
一个男人如果声称他生活中的唯一责任是他的另一半（或者家庭），那他要么是太不诚实，要么是太懦弱了不值得相信。他的忠诚放错地方了。一个男人重视个人超越了对自己的忠诚，那么他就是个不幸的人而不是一个自由的思想者。
男人应该知道他必须投入去做更大的事而不是仅仅为了满足少数人的需要。他也许不愿意做家务，但是他一定愿意承担带有巨大挑战的责任。他知道如果他逃避那样的责任，那他就不配称之为男人。人们如果知道一个男人不屈不挠的追求自己的价值和理想，那么他会获得他们的信任和尊重，尽管没有得到他们的直接帮助。违背自己的价值观一定会让一个男人失去他人的尊重（包括自重）。
生活会考验男人是否愿意把对他人的忠诚置于他对原则的忠诚之上。男人们会经历许多诱惑以显露他真正的忠诚。一个男人最大的奖励是诚实正值的活着，而最大的惩罚是为自己把所有的一切置于诚实正值之上而受尽苦头。
3. 乐于失败。
男人是乐于犯错的。他愿意出错。相比什么事都不做，他更愿意试着去做而失败。
男人的自信是他最大的财富。因为担心失败而怀疑自己，那么他就是贬低了自己。明智的男人会考虑失败的可能性，但他不会让自己沉迷于无谓的担心当中。如果失败发生了，他会接受并且处理好。
男人从失败中成长比他在成功中成长要多。成功不能考验他的决心而失败能。成功固然蕴含挑战但是在有风险的挑战中男人能更清楚的认识自己。如果总是谨慎行事避免冒险的话，那男人就失去了活力，也失去了他的锋芒。
4. 自信
男人言行自信。他有自己的看法。
男人不会摆出一副信心满满的姿态，因为他知道他会成功。他知道失败有可能时常出现。当成功的几率很小的时候，他仍然显得信心十足。这不是因为他无知或是得不到肯定而痛苦，而是因为他正向自己证明着他有这个能力去战胜自卑。这就树立起了他的勇气和恒心---这两点是最好的结合。
男人乐于被世界打败。他乐于被他无法控制的情况压倒。但是他拒绝被自己的不自信征服。他知道如果他不再相信自己，那么他一定会迷失方向。必要的时候他会屈服于命运，但他绝不会屈服于恐惧。
5. 积极表达爱。
男人是总是主动追求爱，而不是被动接受爱。男人总是第一个发起谈话，第一个提出需要，以及第一个说出“我爱你”的人。他无法接受等待别人先采取行动这。人们不会对他的犹豫做出积极的反应，除非他放开胸襟付诸于行动。
男人是源能量的出口。正是他的工作---他的责任---与世界分享了他的爱。他必须放弃吸取别人的能量，而使他自己成为经历充沛的能量传输者。他必须使能量从起点流动，通过他，传送到世界。当他担任起这个角色，毫不怀疑，他活的是真我。
6. 让性能量通过别的途径发挥作用
男人不会隐藏他的性欲。如果他人因为他太过于有男人气概而回避他，他不会介意他们的反应。他没有必要仅仅为了避免害怕吓倒胆小的人而削弱自己的能量。男人接受作为男性要面对的一切，他不会为他的本性表示抱歉。
男人会小心谨慎的不让自己的能量被欲望卡住。他会把他大部分的性能量改变途径转移到他的心脏和大脑，以实现更高的价值，而不仅仅是为了满足自己的动物本能。（你可以通过想象那些能量升起、扩展、然后最终流淌在你的整个身体里到溢出的过程去感受）。
男人把他的性能量倾注于心中的追求。他感到这样的能量随着他的脉搏跳动，促使他付诸行动。站着不动他会感到不舒服。他让自己的性能量通过他的内心爆发，而不仅仅是他的生殖器。
7. 坦然面对你的泪水。
对男人来说，害怕某些东西让他有足够的理由哭泣。男人的恐惧是需要考验的。男人隐藏自己的害怕时他知道他已经脱离了真正的自己。此时他感到虚弱，沮丧和无助。不管他怎么努力安慰自己以求得平静，他仍然没办法克制内心的恐惧。男人只有勇敢面对害怕才能得到平静。
男人冒险交朋友。他不会在恐惧的考验面前逃避或逃跑。他会直面它们而且敢于与它们作战。
男人要么成功要么失败。懦夫从不尝试。具体的结局对男人来说无关紧要，而方向才是最重要的。
男人之所以像个男人是因为无论什么时候他都正确的面对并坦然的看待恐惧。让男人更为男人的是他总是走在恐惧之前，就像内心呐喊着在风中航行。
8. 尊重其他男人的男子气概。
当男人看到自己的同性朋友正在冒险做一些很明显会失败的事情时，男人要做什么呢？他要警告他的朋友放弃走那条路吗？不，男人会鼓励他的朋友继续前行。他知道自信的去做然后从失败的经验重学到东西对他的朋友是有好处的。男人尊重朋友着手去尝试的决定。他不会否认朋友从失败中受益。男人会为朋友提供指导，但他知道他的朋友必须经历反复失败才能建立起信心和勇气。
如果你看到一个男人在体育馆里正费力的想举起重物，你会跑进去跟他说：“嘿，让我帮帮你吧，也许我们两个认可以一起举起它？” 不，这就剥夺了他的成长经历---而且你也有可能马上变成他的敌人。
成就一个男人的道路是障碍重重的。这通常会经历更多的是失败而不是成功。这些阻碍帮助一个男人发现什么对他才是真正重要的。通过反复的失败，男人学会坚持追求有价值的目标，放弃那些对他毫无价值的目标。
就算一次次的被打倒，男人也可以处理好。因为每一次在身体上经受挫折，他都能从精神上得到提升，那就足够了
9.为你的人际关系负责。
男人慎重的选择他的朋友，爱人，以及同事。他会主动努力寻找那些鼓励和挑战他的人，也会摆脱那些妨碍他的人。
男人不会因为自己的关系问题而责备他人。假如一段关系不再如己所愿，他会采取行动终止这段关系而且不会自责和内疚。
男人会为他准许进入他生活中的各种关系负责。他认为他人应对对他们的行为负责，但是他认为他有责任，并且也有决心去包容他人的行为。
男人会告诉他人怎样用他在生活中乐于接受的方式来对待他。男人拒绝那些消极的有破坏性的关系进入他的生活，他知道那是一种自我伤害。
10. 死得其所。
男人最大的挑战是发掘一种内在的力量来表达真正的自己。他应该学会毫不隐藏的去让世界分享他的爱。当男人对他已做的感到满意了，他才可以与死和平共处。但是如果他没有做到，那么死就是他的敌人，并且会成日缠绕着他影响他的生活。
一个男人如果活得不好那他也不会死得其所。只有当他承认生命是有限的并且渐渐明白身体的存在只是暂时的，那他活着才有意义。当他面对而且接受了不可避免的死亡…当他学会把死亡当作盟友而不是敌人时…他才能最终表达真正的自己。所以一个男人永远没有准备好生活，除非他承认他已经死了。
怎样做一个女人？
现在谁来些写“怎样做一个女人”呢？
我会告诉你一些事，如果你能写“怎样做一个女人”的文章，那么写下来发表在你的主页上吧，然后给我发一封附上链接地址的邮件。下周我会贴出那些发过来好文章的链接。伊尔兰和我会挑选出我们认为领悟最深的文章，然后那个链接会在所有发表的文章的开头突出显示。所以主要的奖励就是永久链接以及免费下载权。
我只链接新的文章而且我认为这对读者真的有用。（即 有趣，原创的思想）。所以不要为了得到一个链接而提交那些马马虎虎写出来的漏洞百出的文章和那些旧文章。相比50篇平庸的文章，我更愿意链接5篇思想深刻的。如果你写地相当地好，那就没问题了。
这里没有要求你怎么去组织写你的文章（你不必按照以上写10条的结构）。你可以选择任何你所喜欢的形式，甚至是写一篇完全幽默型的。主要考虑的是你写了有多少价值有领悟的东西。
截止日期大概是4天以后，所有提交上来的文章应在5月13号星期二太平洋标准时下午7点（即格林威治标准时-8）。伊尔兰和我有足够的时间仔细考虑呈上来的文章而且会尽快公布结果。之前我没有这样做过，所以我不知道我们会收到多少文章，但是我想可能会在1到50之间吧。
你没有必要因为写了一篇“怎样做一个女人”的文章而去做一个女人，但是这是可能对你有所帮做的好机会。
附言：如果碰巧这篇文章或者里面的一些内容冒犯了你，那么你肯定能在资料库里找到更多和你口味不同的文章。