原文: How to Discipline a Child Effectively Without Spanking

1. Choose not to spank. This may seem obvious, but there is a world of difference between choosing to spank under certain circumstances and declaring to yourself and others that you will never spank your children.
2. Forgive yourself if you have spanked in the past. You can only rely on what you know. Now that you are learning a different technique, it is time to move forward instead of dwelling in the past.
3. Let your immediate family know about your decision. Apologize to your children if you feel the need.
4. Learn about childhood development (see links below). If you know what your child can feasibly understand at any given age, you will be better prepared to know when discipline is necessary and when it's best to just ignore certain behaviors.
5. Research the diverse techniques:
   
   
   • Natural and Logical Consequences. The basic concept behind these twinned methods is to let nature run its course in most cases (natural consequences) or provide a logical consequence when there is no natural consequence (as in the case of sibling A breaking sibling B's toy when sibling B is far younger) or when the natural consequence can be too dangerous (such as the case of a child trying to run out in the middle of the road).
   • Positive Discipline. A technique that sees misbehavior as an opportunity for teaching new behaviors. Also includes setting positive examples in the way you, the parent, act, and eliminating negative language (such as "don't do that" and changing it to "Why don't you do this instead).
   • The Reward System. Intended as a supplement for other methods of discipline, the reward system focuses on ignoring any 'non-harmful' misbehaviors (such as when your child insists upon your immediate attention whenever you are on an important phone call) and going out of your way to praise positive behavior (for example, the child is cleaning his or her room without hardly getting nagged).
6. Combine the techniques as situations warrant. For example: You may "catch your child being good" (reward system) when he or she plays nicely with a sibling. Later that day, you could let him or her leave a toy out when you know it's going to rain (natural consequences). After the child has learned the toy is ruined, you could show him or her how you organize your things (positive discipline).
7. Keep at it. As with learning anything new, no-spank techniques can be difficult to master.

Tips

• If you are a parent who has previously spanked, you may notice a worsening of behavior before it gets better. This is normal as your children are simply testing whether or not you will spank them. When they realize you won't, their behavior will improve in about a week or so.
• Some examples of natural and logical consequences:
  
  
  • Natural Consequence: If a child leaves his toy outside it will get lost or ruined.
  • Logical Consequence: If a child A breaks child B's toy, then child B gets one of child A's toys.
  • Natural Consequence: A child leaves his or her umbrella at school. The child will get wet the next time it rains.
  • Logical Consequence: A child keeps running into the road. The child will not be allowed to play outside.
• Recognize that you will slip up. Forgive yourself and move on. Everyone has a bad day and no one is perfect.
• Children learn by parents' examples. If they do not get spanked by parents, the child will be less likely to hit when upset with their peers. A child will relate spanking to hitting.
• Spanking one sibling because they refuse to relinquish their toy to the other sibling can cause resentment between the two siblings. Teach them to take turns, but also understand and allow more time if the one still wants to play with it, by agreeing that they can wait a few minutes, and then it's the other's turn. You will find that they will gladly turn it over willingly by waiting a little bit longer.

Warnings

• Your spouse may think you're insane or completely disagree with you regarding your decision. If this is the case, say something along the lines of "Why don't we try it out for a month, just to see what happens?"
• Don't expect these techniques to work on their own. You need to be an active participant in your child's discipline. Sometimes this means getting off your tookus and turning off the TV if your child won't listen.
• Be wary of online discussion groups and forums as they easily turn into debate sessions.

译文: 除了棍棒教育，如何更好的教导儿童？

养育孩子是一次挑战与荣誉并存的经验。
对任何工作来说，一整套有效的工具是必不可少的， 在你被惹火的时候选择不打孩子是很困难吧。 看看下面的技巧吧，你可以单独使用其中某一个或是结合运用， 你会成为称职的父/母的。
步骤
1. 别总是给他一巴掌。这听上去似乎很容易，但其实选择在特定情况下给他一巴掌和对你及别人宣布你将永远都不打你的孩子是有着天壤之别的。
2. 如果你以前打过自己的孩子，也不要过于愧疚。你所有行为的产生都是建立在你已有的知识基础上的。既然现在你已经学会了一门新的技能，就依此前行，不要沉溺于过去。
3. 一旦做出决定，即刻告诉你的家人。如果你觉得有必要向你的孩子道歉，那就去做。
4. 了解孩童的思想发育。如果你知道孩子在特定的年龄将会不自觉的理解一些事情，你最好知道什么时候需要用纪律去约束他，什么时候对某些特定的行为不用太介意。
5. 研究并学习多元化的技能:

自然的、合乎逻辑的结果。这一双重方法的基本理念是在大多数情况下让事情顺其自然（自然的结果）或者当事情无法有自然的结果时提供一个合乎逻辑的结果(例如弟弟B很小的时候，哥哥A打碎了弟弟B的玩具) 或者顺其自然得出的结果是危险的(例如小孩子试图跑到马路中间去)。
o 具有积极意义的管束。这是一种能够将孩子的错误行为看成是一次教授正确行为的机会的技能。这里面也包含了在孩子面前树立好做父母的榜样以及消除消极语言（诸如将“不许那样做”换成“为什么不那样做呢”）的技能。
o 奖励措施。作为其他管束手段的一种补充措施，奖励措施主要侧重于忽略任何“无害的”错误行为(比如不管你是不是在接听一通十分重要的电话，孩子都坚持要你注意他那边的动静) 以及尽你所能去鼓励积极的行为（比方说，小孩子很少有不在父母的催促唠叨下，自觉打扫自己房间的）。
6. 根据不同情况综合所有技能。 比方说，当他和弟弟或妹妹玩游戏时表现出色，你可能会“因为他表现良好，紧紧拥抱着自己的孩子”(奖励措施)。当你知道要下雨时，让孩子将玩具放在门外（顺其自然的结果）。之后，当孩子知道玩具坏了时，你可以展示给他看你又是怎么将玩具复原的(积极的组织性，纪律性).
7. 坚持住。就像学习所有新事物一样，不动粗的技能也是需要坚持去做的。
小提示
• 如果你是一个曾经打过孩子的父母，你可能会发现在孩子变好之前，情况会更糟。这很正常，因为你的孩子在试探你是不是会打他。当他们意识到你不会的时候，他们就会在一周左右的时间内好转。
• 一些关于自然的、合乎逻辑的结果的例子:

            顺其自然的结果: 如果孩子把玩具放在门外，玩具就会丢失或损坏。
o 合乎逻辑的结果:如果A 弄坏了B的玩具,那么B可以得到一样A的玩具。
o  顺其自然的结果: 如果孩子把伞忘在了学校，那么下次下雨时他就会被淋湿。
o 合乎逻辑的结果:孩子老是跑到马路中央去。那么孩子将不被允许在外面玩耍。
• 认识到你将会跌倒。原谅你自己并且爬起来继续前进。每个人都有倒霉的一天，没有人是完美的。
• 父母是孩子的榜样。如果没有挨过打，那么当与同伴起争执时，就不大可能去攻击同伴。孩子会把挨打和攻击联系在一起。
• 两个孩子如果宁可互相憎恨也不愿意让出玩具，那么可以责罚其中的一个。教育他们轮流玩，如果其中一个想玩，但表示可以等一等，你也要理解并且允许另一个玩久一些。最后你可能会发现，他们愿意等的时间更长。
警告
• 你的配偶可能会认为你疯了或是完全不同意你的决定。如果这种情况发生，试图告诉他“我们为什么不试上一个月，看看效果如何呢？”
• 不要期待孩子能自己完全掌握这些技能，你需要参与其中。有时这意味着如果你的孩子不听你说话，你就要关掉电视。
• 小心网上的论坛，因为他们往往让事情变成一种无休止的争论。