噘起你的小嘴! 提高吻功的奥秘

读者: 3668    发布时间: 2008

原文: Pucker up!Secret to be a better kisser

Pucker up! Secrets to being a better kisser

A new study has found that kisses communicate more than just desire

By Dr. Laura Berman
TODAYShow.com contributor
updated 12:26 p.m. ET Nov. 6, 2007
 

A recent study has found that there may be much more to kissing than meets the lips. Indeed, researchers have found that a first smooch can determine the entire future of a relationship. (As if first kisses weren’t stressful enough!)

The kissing study, which was performed by Susan M. Hughes of Albright College, found that 59 percent of males and 66 percent of females confessed they would end a relationship if the first kiss left something to be desired.  Researchers believe this could be due to the exchange of hormones that occurs during kissing. During a make-out session, men and women both transmit chemical cues through their breath and saliva, which may alert their mate to their sexual psychology and reproductive status.

Of course, most of us rate a good kiss based on more simple terms, such as: “Was it sloppy? Did he have horrible breath? Did she bite my tongue by accident?” However, what we may not realize is that the hormonal cues in our saliva are actually guiding our mental thought processes. In particular, women seem most in tune to these kissing hormones — researchers found that women use kissing as a bonding mechanism and as a way to gauge the commitment in a relationship.

So how can you be sure that your kiss won’t send your date running for the hills? While you can’t actually alter the hormones in your saliva, you can be sure to avoid the most common make-out mistakes:

  • Caution: Slippery when wet! According to the kissing study, men prefer wetter kisses than women do. So it’s no surprise that women often complain that they feel “mauled” by sloppy dates who use too much tongue and saliva. During a first kiss, keep moisture and tongue action to a minimum — if your date has to wipe her face at the end of the kiss, something went wrong!
  • Give kissing the attention it deserves. The survey discovered that men spent more time focusing on a date’s face and body weight, while women were more apt to place importance on a date’s lips and teeth. Women seem to place a much higher importance on kissing than men do — so listen up, men! If you want to sweep your date off her feet, pay a little extra attention to your smooching technique. You will be sure to take her breath away!
  • It is all about timing. Surprisingly, the kissing study also found that more men than women believe kissing is a good way to end an argument. The lesson here? Most women aren’t ready to pucker up after a fight. Delay kissing for a more appropriate time.
While first kisses may determine the future of a relationship, it is the kisses that follow that determine the happiness of a relationship. Many couples in long-term relationships often find that kissing gets tossed by the wayside. However, a little liplock can be a surefire way to spice up your marriage and keep your relationship intimate. I advise my clients to engage in a 10-second-long kiss every day. It is bound to feel unnatural at first, but this is just a tool to get you back in the habit of kissing your partner. Before long, you will find that kissing has become a spontaneous and fun part of your relationship again.

Kissing has always been a crucial part of human bonding and foreplay. Indeed, over 90 percent of all cultures on the planet engage in the art of kissing. There are even some species of monkeys that use kissing as form of expressing love — and who hasn’t felt the wet kiss of a dog, or the rough lick of a cat’s tongue? Kissing is truly a universal art form — so get out there and pucker up!

Laura Berman, LCSW, Ph.D., is the director of the Berman Center, a specialized health care facility in Chicago that's dedicated to helping women repair their sex lives and find relief from menopausal symptoms. Dr. Berman is also an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and obstetrics/gynecology at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University.

译文: 噘起你的小嘴! 提高吻功的奥秘

噘起你的小嘴! 提高吻功的奥秘

新研究发现接吻所传递的信息远不止是欲望

TODAYShow.com 劳拉·波尔曼

2007年11月6日美国东部时间12:26更新

      一项新研究表明,接吻可不只是嘴唇的接触。实际上,研究人员已经发现首次的亲吻能够决定一段感情的将来。(好像初吻还不够紧张似的)

      这项接吻研究由阿尔布莱特大学(Albright College)的苏珊(Susan M. Hughes)完成。调查发现59%的男性和66%的女性都承认,如果初吻不够完美,他们会结束那段感情。研究人员认为这可能是由于接吻时荷尔蒙发生了交换。在亲热的时候,两性都会通过呼吸和唾液传递化学信息,这可以使伴侣注意他们的性心理与生殖系统的状态。

      当然,我们大部分人评价一个亲吻的方法还是很简单的。例如“是不是湿漉漉的?他有严重口臭?她无意中咬到了我的舌头?”但我们忽略了一点:我们唾液中的荷尔蒙信息实际上正在改变我们的心理状态。尤其是女性,她们与这些接吻荷尔蒙特别协调。调查人员发现女性把接吻作为一个拉近距离的途径,并用来判断一段感情是否投入。

      那么怎样确保你的湿吻不至于把你的女友吓跑呢?即使你的确不能改变唾液中的荷尔蒙,你也可以避免犯一些接吻当中最普遍的错误:

      掌握湿吻的尺度。根据这项调查,男性比女性更偏向于湿吻。难怪女性的约会对象如果又用舌头又用唾液,她们常常会抱怨像被“侵犯”了。初吻时其实应该将湿度和舌部运动降至最低。如果你的伴侣在接吻之后还要擦干净她的脸,那就肯定有问题了。

      予以接吻其应有的重视。研究发现男性更注重对方的脸蛋和体重,而女性则更看重对方的嘴唇和牙齿。看来女人比男人更加注重接吻。所以哥们注意了!如果要你的对象为你倾倒,你就要更加留意你的接吻技巧。你肯定能让她着迷!

      掌握时机。出人意料的是,这项调查发现男人比女人更加相信接吻是结束争吵的妙计。这告诉我们什么呢?其实大多数女性在吵架之后是没有心情亲热的,所以把亲吻推迟到适当的时机吧。

      正如初吻能够决定一段感情的未来,之后的接吻能决定一段感情的幸福程度。许多结婚已久的夫妻通常都把亲吻的事儿扔在一旁。但是一个小湿吻肯定能够为你的婚姻增加情趣并且让你们保持亲密关系。我建议我的客户每天亲上10秒钟,一开始肯定不太自然,但是它能够让你重新形成亲吻的习惯。不用很久,你就会发现接吻会成为你们关系中自发而又有趣的一部分。

      接吻一直是人类拉近距离和房事前奏当中不可或缺的一部分。世界所有文化当中超过90%都包含了亲吻的艺术。甚至有几种猴子把亲吻作为表达爱意的方法——谁还没有感受过狗的湿吻或者是猫的舌舔呢?接吻的确是世界普遍的艺术形式。所以快行动起来,噘起你的小嘴吧!

      劳拉·伯尔曼博士(Laura Berman),注册临床社工,伯尔曼中心主管。伯尔曼中心系芝加哥医疗卫生专门机构,致力于帮助女性恢复正常性生活和减轻女性绝经痛苦。伯尔曼医生同时是西北大学费恩伯格医学院精神科和妇产科的临床副教授。