原文: The Joy of Sadness

Last night a thunderstorm passed through Las Vegas.  The thunder was so loud and the lightning so bright that I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to get up for a while.  Around 3am I went downstairs and enjoyed a banana and a cup of herbal tea.  Then I went outside and sat in the backyard watching the storm.

The storm was moving in from the south, and I saw several bolts of lightning striking nearby every minute, followed by booming thunder that rattled the windows.  As the storm came closer, the wind picked up, and it began pouring rain, but the temperature remained around 75 F (24 C).  I was sitting beneath an overhang, safely protected from the rain.

I sat outside for about an hour, contemplating the nature of existence as I often like to do.  In particular I was pondering the different emotions we experience during our lives.  Some people are sad.  Others are happy.  Some are angry.  Others are fearful.  Some are apathetic.  Others are hopeful.  It’s all impermanent though — no emotion lasts forever.

I noticed that these emotions tend to arise spontaneously in response to certain events.  Something happens, and we have a certain emotional reaction to it.  For the most part this response is automatic and involuntary.

Emotional feedback

Some people enjoy their emotional feedback and even look forward to it, since it’s usually a positive experience for them.  For example, a person who’s in love or in a state of passion would probably be grateful for their emotions.

Other people dislike the emotional feedback they receive.  Some regard their emotions as a problem and drug themselves to disable the connection, while others take the feedback to heart and realize it’s a signal that change is needed.

I regard my emotions like a feedback display in a computer game.  Such a display may include details like ammo, health, and location on the map to reveal how my avatar (character on the screen) is doing.  Here are some possible interpretations of how my emotions may align with the experience of my on-screen avatar:

• When I’m happy it means my avatar has a good supply of ammo, good health, and is making steady progress on the map.
• When I’m confused maybe my avatar has gotten lost, or he’s still figuring out how the game works.
• When I’m stressed my avatar may be low on ammo and/or health, not feeling prepared for the challenges ahead.
• When I’m afraid, my avatar may need to practice a bit more before tackling the next challenge.
• When I’m frustrated or overwhelmed, my avatar may need to recruit help from other characters or simply slow down a bit.
• When I’m feeling driven, my avatar is in the sweet spot of challenge.
• When I’m sad or disappointed, it’s time for my avatar to let go of attachments (such as the cool armor he just lost) and open himself to new experiences.
• When I’m bored or apathetic, perhaps my avatar is done with the current level or difficulty setting, and he needs a new, more interesting challenge… maybe even a new game.

When these emotions arise, they sometimes seem like the storm that rumbled around me as I sat outside last night.  But even in the presence of such a storm, there’s a calm center that can be reached.  Although your emotions arise within your consciousness, they are not your consciousness, and you are free to stop, breathe, and rise above them.  This will not eliminate the emotions — they’ll still be present — but you’ll begin to see them from a third-person perspective instead of identifying with them.  Similarly, as I sat amidst the lightning, thunder, wind, and rain, I calmly observed its presence, but I chose not to identify with it.  I observed the storm without becoming the storm.

Observing your emotional storm

When you experience strong emotions, do you observe the storm or become the storm?  Do you witness the happiness, sadness, anger, etc. as they surge through your avatar’s mind?  Or do you stop and remember that this physical person is not the real you… that it’s merely your avatar in the physical world?

I’m not suggesting you can control the storm or that you even need to.  The storm just is.  When you observe it, it has already arisen.  But by shifting your perspective, you do not have to identify with your emotional storm.  You can simply observe it.

When you play a computer game, you may experience strong emotions at times, as any experienced gamer will attest.  Those emotions can include fear, sadness, frustration, and more.  But even though in real-life we may label such emotions as negative, when playing a game they’re considered part of the fun.  How is that?  Can you play a creepy game that makes you feel scared and actually enjoy it?  Yes, because you know that you are not your avatar.  You realize it’s a simulated experience and that the avatar’s fate is not your fate.

You can apply this same perspective shift to your physical life as well.  Your physical person is your avatar in this physical universe.  Now shift your perspective beyond that physical person to the level of the consciousness that is experiencing this reality, this game if you will.  Allow yourself to have fun, even when experiencing seemingly negative emotions, by experiencing them without identifying with them.  Observe the storm without becoming the storm.

You do not have to believe in God, immortality, the soul, or any kind of higher self in order to rise above the avatar level of consciousness.  You are simply assuming a higher-level perspective.  Notice that you can take on the perspective of a character in a game or a movie as you experience it; even though the character is fictional, its perspective still influences you.  You don’t have to alter your spiritual beliefs to enjoy a game or a movie, nor do you have to alter your beliefs to shift your perspective beyond your physical person.

Joy

When you experience this perspective shift, you’ll begin to notice a subtle background sensation.  I hesitate to call it an emotion, since you won’t feel it on the same level in which you feel your other emotions.  The best analogy I can give is to imagine playing a scary computer game or watching a scary movie.  In the moment you may be feeling tense, anxious, or nervous.  But behind that is a more subtle sensation you might call fun, enjoyment, or pleasure.  You’re enjoying the larger experience of the game or movie, but this enjoyment is on a different level than your low-level experience of the current on-screen situation.

Similarly, when you feel sad, angry, or frustrated, you may stop and notice a different sensation behind that emotion.  To observe this sensation, you must step outside of the temporary storm and simply witness it for a while.  I tend to think of this sensation as joy, but you may label it something else entirely.  It is a pleasurable and expansive yet soothing sensation.  Some people might call it ecstasy, God consciousness, or a feeling of oneness.  Again, I hesitate to call it an emotion, since it isn’t felt on that level.  It’s more like a state of consciousness.

Emotional transmutation

The interesting thing about this state of consciousness is that it transforms seemingly negative emotions into more positive sensations.  For example, if I’m feeling sad, and then I stop and rise above the sadness and just observe it for a while, it transforms into what I might call beautiful melancholy.  I realize this may sound strange if you’ve never experienced it, but the sadness becomes a very pleasurable emotion.  The sadness begins to feel so incredibly good, and I have this sense of deep gratitude for it.  I just want to soak it up and enjoy it.

Imagine watching a sad movie, perhaps one that makes you cry.  On the one hand, people may label such sadness as a negative emotion, but if you drop your resistance to it, it actually becomes a positive experience.  Watching a sad movie can in fact be intensely pleasurable, but that pleasure isn’t really felt on the same level as the sadness.  It’s like there’s a background curtain of joy behind the stage of sadness.

This joyful transmutation works for other emotions too.  These states cannot be adequately expressed with mere labels; nevertheless, here are some labels I use that may help you experience the transformation of emotional states:

• Sadness becomes beautiful melancholy
• Anger becomes comical indignation
• Frustration becomes childlike anticipation
• Apathy becomes soothing perfection
• Guilt becomes soulful forgiveness
• Fear becomes unstoppable courage
• Loneliness becomes peaceful oneness
• Confusion becomes immersive curiosity
• Disappointment becomes loving gratitude

Raising your consciousness beyond your current storm of emotions is a beautifully transforming experience.  Instead of resisting your emotions, you accept them completely.  This makes it possible to experience the joy behind those emotional states you might otherwise find unpleasant.

When you rise above your own emotional storm, you still retain access to the message behind those emotions.  But now you’re in a more empowered state to consciously choose your response.  You can respond to the storm intelligently without getting soaked by the rain.

Accepting your emotional guidance

Most likely due to last night’s storm, many traffic lights in our neighborhood were down this morning.  This caused Erin some delays when driving.  To me that’s a wonderful metaphor for the role of our emotions.  Without our emotional signals, we lack the guidance to get where we need to go.  We get stuck and stall.  When we tune out our emotions, we lose touch with our inner guidance, and every light becomes a stop sign.

As I look outside my window right now, the storm is gone, and the sun is shining once again.  No storm lasts forever.  Of course, you can still extend the duration of a storm by identifying with it, becoming attached to it, and following it around wherever it goes.  Many people do this with their emotional storms.  But if you remain still and simply observe the storm, the storm will soon pass on its own.

When you go out and try to battle a storm, will you ever win?  Of course not.  You’ll be blown around by the wind and drenched by the rain.  The storm will only make you foolish.  But when you simply sit back and observe the storm, you may realize that it’s fun to watch.  There’s no need to resist these emotional storms, nor to identify with them.  They’re a natural part of life in the physical universe.

Developing emotional wisdom

It can be very difficult for people to come to terms with the fact that their emotions seem totally out of sync with the people around them.  But your emotional feedback is unique because your life path is unique.  Maybe everyone around you seems reasonably content while you’re constantly depressed.  Or perhaps you’re surrounded by apathetic people, but you’re really frustrated.  You must learn to trust your own emotions, even when they don’t align with the other people in your life. 

When you look at your life path and see nothing but red lights, cutting power to the lights isn’t the answer.  The answer may be that you’re stuck on the wrong path and need to make major changes — new work, new relationships, new thinking, new inspiration, and a new environment.  Those feelings will be with you a long time, no matter how much you may drug them with pills, sugar, alcohol, or other mood-altering substances.  I know it seems easier in the short term to down a few pills, especially when people you trust are passing you those substances.  But stop and ask yourself if those substances are really necessary and right for you.  Have you taken the time to step back and observe your emotional storm to see if it contains a message of truth you weren’t ready to hear?

When I notice myself feeling the urge to ingest an excessive amount of sugar, caffeine, or idle entertainment, I can trace it to an emotional storm that I’m having difficulty dealing with.  That’s when I have to remind myself to step back, observe the storm, and receive its message.  I often resist the message out of fear for what it might require of me, but when I do eventually hear it, it’s invariably more gentle and forgiving than I imagined.  I’m usually left with a feeling of gratitude.

When we become too deeply associated with our physical avatars, we can easily feel overwhelmed by our emotional storms, so much so that we block their messages.  But remember that your avatar is not your identity.  Your consciousness is capable of taking on multiple perspectives, and the low-level, first-person avatar view is only one of them.  I often find it more empowering to assume the perspective of being the conscious container in which all of physical reality takes place — a God’s eye view if you will.  From this viewpoint I can see that the physical person Steve is just my avatar in physical universe, and I don’t feel a need to resist or become overly attached to what he personally experiences.  So even as Steve may go through those emotional storms every once in a while, the higher-level observer is having fun watching it all unfold.  I think it’s best not to take life so personally. 

I’ve noticed that as I’ve made good progress in aligning my life with my deepest, truest desires over the past few years, the emotional storms do not cease.  However, my capacity to handle them is much greater.  But because of that greater capacity, the new storms come at different levels.  They almost always come to me at my weakest points, the parts of my life that are most out of alignment with my inner guidance.  After I successfully survive one storm, my inner guidance is steering me into rough weather once again.  It’s like playing a game where your avatar keeps going up in levels, but so do all the monsters.  However, this is what keeps the game stimulating and fun.  I feel that my real progress has been in the area of my willingness to embrace this kind of game and to keep facing down new challenges, even as they lead me to confront bigger “monsters.”  I may have a more capable avatar and greater resources at my disposal than I did five years ago, but the challenges simply keep pace.  Even as my avatar experiences a whirlwind of emotions, I rather enjoy the ride.  At times it can be scary, sad, frustrating, or disappointing, but it’s also incredibly fun.

译文: 悲伤的乐趣

昨天晚上一场雷雨袭击了拉斯韦加斯。雷声很大闪电很亮吵得我睡不着，所以我干脆就起来了。大约凌晨3点左右我下楼吃了一个香蕉喝了一杯凉茶。然后我走到室外坐在院子里看这场暴风雨。
当时暴风雨正在南方移动，我看见每隔几分钟就有很大的闪电在周围出现，然后就是雷声使得房子的玻璃不停的振动。当暴风雨越来越近，吹起了大风，天也开始下起了雨，但是温度还是在75度（24摄氏度）左右。我坐在屋檐下所以淋不到雨。
我在室外大约坐了一个小时，我喜欢凝视自然界存在的现象。尤其我喜欢思考我们生活中不同的情感经历。一些人忧伤，其他人高兴，一些人生气，其他人害怕，一些人萎靡，其他人充满希望。所有的这些都不会长久——没有什么情绪会永远持续的。
我留意到这些情绪往往出现在某些事件发生时。事情发生了，我们有一定的情绪进行响应。大部分时候这些是自动自愿产生的。

情感反馈
一些人享受他们的这种情绪反馈甚至期待它们，因为通常对他们来说是是一种积极的经验。比如，一个人的爱情或者爱国的热情可能会因为他们的情绪而更加充满勇气。
有一些人不喜欢他们收到的情绪反馈，有一部分人认为这种反馈是困扰和毒害他们自己的应该丢掉，但是其他人接收到此类情绪反馈并且意识到它是一个表明需要改变的信号。
我把我的心情当成是在玩电脑游戏时显示的一种反馈。这种包括弹药，健康及位置图的细节显示可以提示我（屏幕中的角色）具体应该做什么。这里有一些为何我的情绪能和屏幕中的角色的经历可以配合的解释：
• 当我高兴时意味着游戏中的我获得了好的弹药供给，处于好的健康状态，在地图中正在顺利稳定地向前推进。
• 当我困惑时，也许游戏中的我已经牺牲，或者还在弄清楚该怎么玩这个游戏。
• 当我觉得压力很大时，可能游戏中的我弹药将要耗尽或者身体状况很差，还没有为将要面临的挑战做好准备。
• 当我感到恐惧时，游戏中的我在迎接下一个挑战前可能需要多一些练习。
• 当我沮丧或者受打击时，游戏中的我可能需要经过其他的角色帮助而恢复或者自己慢慢的恢复体力。
• 当我感到干劲十足时，游戏中的我正在积极的应战。
• 我伤心或者失望时，这表明到时间让游戏中的我需要去实习（如他刚刚失去酷装甲） ，并公布自己要重新开始新的经历。
• 当我无聊或漠不关心，也许游戏中的我以目前水平太容易对付或太难对付，他需要一个新的，更有趣的挑战… …甚至是新的游戏。
当这些情绪产生时，它就像昨晚我坐在室外暴风雨来时我周围隆隆作响一样。尽管在这样的暴风雨到来的条件下，仍然有平静的地方存在。虽然在你的意识里你的情绪在产生，但是那不是你的意识，你可以自由的停止、呼吸，或者加强他们。这不能消除这种情感——他们仍然存在——但是你将以第三者的观点来看待它们而不是看成和它们一样。同样的，当我坐在电闪雷鸣狂风暴雨的环境下，我平静的观察着他们的存在，但是我选择不和它们一样。我观察着暴风雨但是没有变成暴风雨。

观察你的感情风暴
当你经历强烈的情绪时，你会观察这风暴还是成为这风暴？当它们激烈的通过你扮演的角色的内心时，你是否目击着开心、伤心、愤怒等？还是你会停止并且记得这个人并不是真正的你……那仅仅只是你在自然世界里的扮演的一个角色而已？
我并不是说你可以控制这种风暴或者你需要去控制。风暴只是风暴。当你观察它的时候，它已经产生了。但是通过移动你的观察点，你不需要和你的感情风暴成为一体，你可以很轻松的观测它。
当你玩一个电脑游戏时，你有时可能有经历强烈的情绪起伏，无论是任何一种游戏经历都可以证明的。这种情绪包括害怕、伤心、挫折甚至更多。尽管我们在玩一个被认为很有趣的游戏，但是在真正的生活中我们会给这些感情贴上消极的标签。这是为什么？你会去玩一个毛骨悚然的使你自己感到恐惧的游戏并且喜欢它么？会的，但是你知道游戏里的人物并不是你。你认识到这只是一个虚拟的经历，游戏中的你的命运并不是你的命运。
你可以把这种观点应用到你现实的生活中，你的身体是你存在于自然界的化身。现在把你的观察从你的身体移动到你真实经历的意识水平上来，如果你会这个游戏，让你自己得到乐趣，甚至在观察到消极的情绪的时候只是经历它们而不是成为它们。观察风暴而不成为风暴。
你不要相信上帝、死亡、灵魂，或者其他的高尚的本质来上升到意识水平。你简单呈现了高水平的观察。注意当你经历游戏或者电影时你可以采取人物的性格，虽然这个人物是虚构的，但是他的观点仍然影响着你。你没必要为了喜欢一种游戏或者一部电影而改变你的信仰，也没必要改变你信仰而为了改变你现有的观点并且采用超过你本身的观点。

乐趣
当你有这种改变观点的经历，你会开始注意到微妙的情绪背景。我不愿意称其为情绪，因为你不能在感受其他情绪的同一水平上感觉到它的存在。我能给出的最好推论是设想玩一个恐怖的电脑游戏或者看一部恐怖电影，在当时你可能觉得紧张、担忧、不安。但是之后的感觉你可能会说有趣，喜欢或者愉悦。你喜欢在游戏和电影中的强烈经历，但是这种喜欢比你在游戏屏幕前的经历更高一个水平。
同样的，当你感觉到伤心、生气或者挫败时，你可能停止并且发现在这种情绪背后的另一种不同的情绪。观察这种情绪，你必须站在暂时性的风暴的外面并且观察一段时间。我倾向于认为这种感觉是有趣的，但是你需要完全的用其他的标签来定义。这是一种愉快和兴奋的感觉而不是平静的。一些人可能称之为入迷，上帝意识，或者感觉的同一性。再者，我不愿意称其为情绪，是因为它不是在那个水平上的感受，它更像意识的一部分。

情绪转变
这个意识阶段的有趣事情是它从看起来消极的感觉状态转变成积极的状态。例如，如果我感到难过，然后我停止难过而上升成为悲伤，然后只是观察了一段时间，它就转变为被我称为“美丽的忧郁”的感觉。我知道当你从来没有经历过它时这听起来可能有点奇怪，悲伤怎么会成为非常愉快的感觉。悲伤开始被感受到出奇的好，我为有它而深深感激这种感觉。我只想浸泡在里面享受它。
设想看一部伤心的电影，可能某一个环节让你不禁哭了。一方面，人们可能把这种伤心定义为消极感情，但是如果你停止抵抗它，它事实上就成为一种积极的经历。看一部悲伤的电影实际上是快乐的，但是在悲伤的时候是不能真正感觉到这种愉快的。就像在伤心的舞台后面是一个快乐的后台。
这种有趣的转换也存在于其他情绪之间。那些情形不能适当的被定义所描述出来；然而这里有一些我使用过的分类可能帮助你经历这些情绪状态的转换：
• 伤心变成美丽的忧郁
• 生气变成好笑的烦恼
• 挫折变成童心期待
• 冷漠变成平静心情的完善
• 内疚变成灵魂的忏悔
• 害怕变成不断的鼓励
• 孤独变成一个人的安宁
• 混乱变成沉浸在好奇中
• 失望变成热爱感激
提高你的意识来超越当前的情绪风暴是一次美丽的转变的经历。你完全接受这些情绪来代替对抗这些情绪。这使得你能够体会这些在其他情况下你可能会觉得不越快的情绪后面的乐趣部分。
当你产生了超越你本身经历的情绪风暴时，你会仍然保留在那些情绪背后所隐藏的信息。但是现在你可以以更加有力的状态去选择你自己的反应。你可以做出很明智的反应而没有被雨淋湿。

接受你的情绪的指引
今天早上发现我家附近的很多交通信号灯大部分是由于昨晚的风暴而坏了。这耽误了艾琳驾车的一些时间。对我来说在我们的情绪角色中那是非常好的。没有我们的情绪信号，我们缺乏把我们带到我们需要去的地方的指引。我们迷路并且延时。当我们调整好我们的情绪，我们却丢失了内心对我们的指引，每一道闪电都成了一个停止的信号。
当我现在远眺窗外，暴风雨已经过去，太阳再次升起。没有风暴可以永远持续。当然，你可以看成和它在一起、参与它、追随到任何它去的地方一样延长它的持续时间。很多人这样对待他们的情绪风暴。但是如果你保留静止并且简单的观察它，那么风暴很快就会过去。
当你出来并且尝试与风暴战斗，你会赢么？当然不会。你会被风吹得团团转并且被雨淋得浑身湿透。暴风雨只会把你变的愚蠢。但是当你坐在后面观察它时，你会发现观察就是一种乐趣。不需要抵抗这些情绪风暴，也不需要看成和它们一样。这是自然界中生命的一种自然现象。

发展情绪的智慧
对于人类来说意识到他们的情绪看起来完全和周围的人不同的事实是很困难的。但是因为你的生活经历是唯一的所以你的情绪反馈也是唯一的。可能你周围的人看起来相当的满意但是你却经常的消沉。或者你被漠不关心的人包围，但是你很沮丧。你必须学会信任你自己的情绪，甚至它们在你的生活中和其他人不一样。
当你看你的生活之路除了红灯再没有别的，关灯不是答案。答案可能是你正走在错的路上并且需要做一些改变——新的工作、新的人际关系、新的思路、新的灵感和新的环境。这些感觉会伴随你一段很长的时间，无论你加药片、糖块、酒精或者其它的改变心情的物质来混合它们都没有作用。我知道在短时间内吃下很多药看起来很轻松，尤其是当你信任给你这些物质的人时。但是停下来问问你自己这些东西对你来说真的有用并且对你有好处么。你需要花时间退后一步来观察你的情绪风暴看看是否它包含着一些你还没有准备去接受的真实的信息？
当我看到自己因为冲动而摄取过多的糖，咖啡因，或观看无聊的娱乐表演时，我可以追踪到我难以处理事情的这样一种情绪风暴。于是我必须纠正我自己停下脚步，观察风暴，然后收到它的信息。我常常出于它可能对我有所要求的恐惧而抵抗这些信息，但是当我最终听到它的时候，总是比我想象的更温和更容易忘记。我通常会怀着感激的心情。
当我们和我们的身体结合太深时，我们可以很轻松的感到被我们的情绪风暴吞噬，因此我们将它们的信息分段。但是要记得你的身体不是你的身份。你的意识是由多种观点的，而低水平的第一人称的观点只是其中之一。我发现更加有力的是假设所有的物理现实发生的地方的观点-如果你愿意用上帝的眼睛观察。从这个观点我能看到史蒂芬就是我在现实世界的我，我感觉到不需要反抗或者完全变成附着于他的经历上。尽管可能史蒂芬每隔一阵子就穿过了那些情绪风暴，高水平的观察是全部展开的带着兴趣观察它。我认为不要动手杀生是最好的。
我发觉在情感风雨不断的过去的几年里我已经使我的生活与我最深切，最真实的愿望取得了良好的进展。虽然处理它们的能力要求很高。但是由于较高的能力，新的风暴以不同的水平出现。它们总在我最脆弱的时候出现，那时我的生活基本上脱离我内心的指引。当我成功的幸免于风暴，我的内心指引就驾驶我再次经历狂风暴雨的天气。就像玩一种游戏里面的你保持达到一个水平，而所有的怪兽也能达到。但是，这才能保持游戏的刺激与乐趣。我觉得我真正的进步是在我自愿的范围内领会这种游戏和面对新的挑战，甚至它们引导我去对抗更强的怪兽。比起五年前在我的装备上我可能有一个更加能干的角色和更雄厚的资源，但是面对挑战时更容易应付。尽管我的角色经历了一场情感旋风，但是我非常享受这种游戏的感觉。有时它会留下伤疤、会伤心、有挫败感或者失望，但是它还是有难以置信的乐趣。