How many times have you heard the money is the leading cause of divorce? For years, this has been a common belief by most everyone, including marriage counselors, financial experts and myself. Turns out, this may not be the case.
Jan Anderson, a family and consumer sciences professor at California State University Sacramento, set out to prove this theory by writing a doctoral dissertation on the subject. Anderson both taught personal finance classes and came from a family that ended up in divorce as well. Like me, Anderson enjoyed teaching money skills in hopes to not only educate people, but hopefully to save a few marriages as well.
Anderson started by looking for research supporting the claim that money is the leading cause of divorce. He didn’t find much. Actually, he only found one survey done in 1948 on postwar divorced women. The survey, which asked what caused their divorce.. The survey showed that “non-support” (indicating their husbands hadn’t provided money to meet their basic needs) was the leading reply.
What is interesting about the survey is that non-support was one of the only valid reasons to get a divorce during that time. The survey also focused only on women, not men.
More recent survey’s showed money as a cause, but it was seldom ranked higher than fourth or fifth as the leading cause of divorce or marital problems.
Anderson’s research
Professor Andersen looked at a national database of more than 2,000 husband and wife households for his research. The data was collected over a 12-year period from 1980-92. Andersen focused on questions related to money to see if financial trouble in one time period predicted the likelihood of divorce in a future time period.
The result - as predictors of divorce, financial problems are useless, he says. Financial problems never explained more than five percent of the variability in divorce. Anderson says, “If financial problems are so important, there would have been a stronger relationship. They appear to be merely a small part of the mix.”
Anderson speculates that that financial issues in marriage may not be as important as they were back in the 40s and 50s. This is particularly true as far more women are now in the workplace and men are no longer the sole bread winners in today’s world. Anderson also adds: “Or, perhaps, financial problems were never a major factor in most divorces, but were cited by respondents in earlier studies because they were legally or socially acceptable reasons for divorce.”
Anderson continues his research and is now currently looking at couples’ debt loads to see their is a relationship between credit problems and divorce. He also believes, personally, that learning to deal with money problems can make a marriage less stressful, and perhaps more likely to survive. Well said Mr. Anderson.
Not everyone agrees
Not everyone is convinced though, including me. Olivia Mellan disagrees. Mellan is a therapist who assists people with money problems and author of Money Harmony: Resolving Money Conflicts in Your Life and Relationships. She believes that money and sex are still taboo subjects, and she hears enough tales of money problems in her practice that she’s unconvinced by Andersen’s research.
Where Mellan agrees with Anderson (as do I) is that money is a symptom of more deep and complicated issues that lie underneath. Mellan says: “It’s always what the money represents: dependency, control, freedom, security, pleasure, and self-worth.”
Communication and Control
Personally, I believe money can cause marital stress, but the underlying problems are control and lack of communication. Most money issues in marriage seem to be related to lack of communication and control issues. Dedicating time to talk about money together can and will address both of these issues. Couples should do their finances together.
What are your thoughts? Do you believe money is the issue? Add a comment!
译文:
婚姻，金钱，债务，和离婚？
你曾有几次听说金钱是导致离婚的头号杀手？多年以来，这几乎被大家所公认，包括婚姻顾问，金融专家和我自己。然而，或许并非如此。
贞 安德森，作为加利福尼亚洲大学萨克拉曼多的一员和消费学教授，对此写了博士论文来证明此理论。安德森教个人金融学，也来自一个离婚家庭。跟我一样，安德森喜欢教赚钱技巧，希望不仅能教育人，而且也可以挽救一些婚姻。
安德森开始找调查资料来论证金钱是导致离婚的头号杀手。他没有找到很多。实际上，他只找到了一个1948年战后离婚妇女的调查资料。这个调查，提出是什么导致了离婚...调查显示“疏忽抚养的义务”（指丈夫没有提供基本的生活费）排在第一位。
有趣的是这份调查中，疏忽抚养的义务在那个年代是可以离婚的一个有效理由之一。调查也围绕女性，并非男性。
很多近期调查显示金钱是一个因素，但是很少排在头四位或五位，不是导致离婚和婚姻问题的主要原因。
安德森的调查
安德森教授着眼于国家数据库中2，000个夫妇家庭来调查。数据收集了12年，从1980到1992。安德森集中将问题与金钱联系来一起，想从中得知一段时期的金融问题能否预知将来离婚的可能性。
结果-“如离婚预言者，金融问题是无用的，”他说。金融问题从未说明5%以上离婚的可变性。安德森说：“如果金融问题如此重要，就该有更多连带关系。金钱仅仅占很小部分。”
安德森推测婚姻中的金融问题或许并不象四五十年前那么重要。这很明显，因为现在很多妇女都工作，所以当今时代男人并不再是养家糊口的唯一角色。安德森还说：“或者，也许，金融问题在大多数婚姻中并非主因，但是以前的被调查者如此回答，因为这是合法并能让社会受的离婚原因。
安德森继续他的调查并且现在正研究夫妇债务负担是否与信用问题和离婚有关。他仍坚信，个人来讲，学习处理财务问题能让婚姻少些压力，并且或许更能幸免。“好的，”安德森说。
不是所有人都同意
不是每个人如此确信，包括自己。埃利维亚 梅兰不同意。梅兰是一位临床医学家，坚持人和金钱的问题，是《金钱和谐：解析生活和关系中的金钱冲突》的作者。她相信金钱和性爱仍然是忌讳的主题，并且实际上她听了很多关于金钱问题的故事，她对安德森的调查不信服。
梅兰赞同安德森的地方（我也是），钱是更深奥和复杂的问题。梅兰说：“金钱象征：信赖，控制，自由，安全，快乐，和自尊。”
交流和控制
个人而言，我相信金钱能导致婚姻压力，但是根本问题是控制和缺少交流。很多婚姻中的金钱问题似乎和缺少交流和控制问题有关。花些时间一起谈论钱可以解决这些问题。夫妇应该一起管理钱财。
你的想法呢？你认为钱是个问题么？请评价！