He said, she said.. Yesterday I checked out a forum on another website (sorry). The discussion I took a peek at was basically a bunch of pro and anti
Law-of-Attraction people taking swipes at each other; trading insults and running down each other's respective beliefs, opinions and philosophies. Overall, pretty uplifting stuff. Not. They got kind of nasty and pretty personal. Abusive even. It makes me laugh when people who are (supposedly) all about self-improvement and changing the world, stoop to name-calling and trading insults. Morons.
Just kidding.
It amazes me how closed-minded some
open-minded people are. Reading the discussion (a.k.a. slanging match) on the forum, a few thoughts and questions occurred to me:
1. The truth about truth At what point do we recognise that we've become arrogant and self-righteous in our beliefs and ideas? For example, if we believe that we're absolutely right about a certain issue (in a
not-up-for-discussion kind of way), then don't we close ourselves off to the possibility of gaining some new insight or learning another truth? Or perhaps learning the real truth? After all, is there any chance that we could be wrong and someone else right? Crazy thought I know but apparently it can happen. If, for example, you strongly believe in evolution or creation (either one - doesn't really matter for this discussion) and you
know that you're right (you won't consider another view - "talk to the hand"), doesn't that make you somewhat arrogant? With some things we can't really know (with absolute certainty), we can only know what we
think we know. If you know what I mean. Perhaps we believe what we're comfortable to believe? Perhaps we believe what we've been told we should believe. Perhaps we believe what our parents believe - because it's easy and we tend to avoid hard. If we look at the various religions of the world, unless I'm mistaken, the whole basis of faith is believing in something that we can't prove. If we could prove it then we wouldn't need faith because we would have knowledge. With me? Then how can we be so arrogant, self-righteous and judgmental about something that we can't prove? Something we don't know for sure. We seem to find a way.
2. The (non)thinker 
Something else occurred to me as I read the forum: many people don't really think for themselves or truly search for, or discover, their own truths, beliefs and values. They simply adopt the thoughts, ideas and beliefs of others, becoming parrots who memorise and recite the mantras of their friends, gurus, teachers, parents, preachers and idols. They mindlessly adopt someone else's thinking and language. "I'm not sure what I think, what do you think I should think?" While it's (mostly) wise to listen to, consider and respect other people, it's also good to think independently and to discover your own truth. To step away from the influences of others and explore for yourself. Or maybe, explore
yourself. Away from the dominating and controlling parents or partner, away from the religious indoctrination and emotion, and away from the pressure placed upon you by so many different forces to think, believe and do things in a particular way. Imagine that you - yes the exact same you (same DNA) - grew up in a different culture, with different parents, different schooling, different friends and completely different influences. Would you have the same 'absolute' beliefs, ideas, values and
knowledge that you do sitting in that chair right now? Absolutely not. It's possible that
alternative you could be arguing with current you (the person you are now) on an Internet forum from the other side of the world about your erroneous and stupid beliefs!
3. Cost-effective cloning Simply adopting someone else's ideas and beliefs isn't learning; it's laziness, apathy, indifference and perhaps even weakness. A cheap version of human cloning. Real learning and understanding comes from personal exploration and revelation. Agreeing with someone else is fine but not just because you like or respect them. Agree with them because you've considered and explored their thoughts and beliefs and you've learned the same truth for yourself. I have many friends and colleagues whom I respect immensely but disagree with often. I like them but I don't necessarily like all of their ideas or agree with all of their beliefs. And that's fine. I like it that we disagree. I like it that they challenge and teach me. Part of the human experience is to be comfortable being different, being wrong and making mistakes. I'm happy to have people challenge me (and they do often) as long as those people come from a good place; a place of logical thinking, humility and honesty. A place of mutual respect and integrity. I won't
discuss an issue with someone who is clearly emotional, irrational, defensive or reactive; someone who wants to ram there opinion down my throat at any cost. I am wrong
often, I have made many mistakes and will undoubtedly make many more. I'm fine with that. It's a pretty fundamental part of the human experience. When I stop making mistakes then I'm really in trouble because I'm dead. I choose to take risks, choose to seek my own truth, choose to share my ideas and thoughts (with willing readers) and am infinitely aware of my fallibility, my humanity and my numerous flaws. To me it's tragic that so many people feel compelled to 'believe what they're told' rather than being comfortable to learn and express their own truth. Blindly following someone doesn't make you a student or a free-thinker, it makes you a cult-member or a sheep.
"Baaah". Explore the definition of a cult and you'll realise that I'm not being facetious or provocative when I say that many programs, organisations, churches and even businesses are thinly disguised cults. They want compliance, obedience, commitment and of course, your money. And not too much independent thought.
But then again... I could be wrong Even with what I write, don't believe me because you like or respect me as a teacher or writer. Perhaps my truth is not yours. Maybe I'm wrong. But if you
do agree with me, then do so because you have considered, explored and tested my thoughts and ideas and discovered them to be true for you. Think for yourself. Learn for yourself. Respect and listen to others but be you, not some nasty-ass replica.
And just think, all of that came from five minutes of reading a forum - good thing I wasn't on there for an hour. Jeeez it's busy in my head. Love your thoughts on this post and this topic.
译文:
你觉得我应该怎么想？
他说，她说……
昨天我到另一个网站看到一个论坛（不好意思），我快速地看了一眼上面的讨论，基本上都是一大帮子赞成者和反吸引力法则 的人互相抨击；商业侮辱，互相贬低彼此的信仰，观点和哲学观念。总得来说，都是令人振奋的事情。但是。这些都是很不道德而且私人的事情。甚至是在说坏话。当那些都（应该）是自力更生，改变世界人沦落到要互相谩骂侮辱时，我大笑。这些低智商的家伙。
玩笑而已。
令我惊奇的是，那些看似 思想开阔 的人思想是如此得狭隘。看他们在论坛上的讨论（或者叫辱骂），我不禁有了一些想法和疑惑：
1、真理的真谛
我们怎么认识到我们变得傲慢，自以为自己的信仰和观念必对无疑？例如，如果我们相信我们在一些特定的（无须讨论的）问题上绝对正确，我们是否就将自己封锁起来，不愿接受或了解一些可能出现的新观点或其他真理？又或者是了解真正正确的真理？究竟会不会是自己错了，而别人是对的？我知道这样的想法很疯狂，但很清楚，这种情况会发生。例如，你十分相信进化或创造（任意一个皆可——这不会影响到这一讨论），并且相信 自己是对的（你不会考虑其他观点——而且“没兴趣知道”），那不会让你看起来有些傲慢吗？对于一些我们不是真的知道（绝对肯定）的事情，我们只是感觉我们知道而已。如果你明白我的意思的哈。也许我们只是相信那些自然而然相信的事情；相信别人告诉我们应该要相信的事情；相信我们父母相信的东西——因为这很容易，而且不会使自己陷入困境。如果我们观察全世界各种宗教，除非我误解了，否则我们信仰的基础就是相信一些无法证明真假的东西。如果我们证明了这些东西，那我们就无需信仰，因为我们拥有了知识。同意我吗？我们凭什么对于我们无法证明的事情那么傲慢笃定，自以为是？我们似乎应该对一些我们没法确定的事寻找到另一条出路。
2、（非）思想者
我在看论坛的时候还想到了一些别的事情：一些人没有真正考虑、探索或发现过自己的真理、信仰和价值观。他们只是简单机械地接受别人的想法、观点和信仰，变成只会记住、背诵从他们朋友、导师、老师、父母、牧师或偶像那里听来教条的鹦鹉学舌之人。他们不加思索地接受别人的想法和语言。“我不是很确定我想的对不对，你觉得我应该怎么想”。虽然（大部分情况下）倾听、思考、尊重别人的想法是值得肯定的，但是我们也应当自己独立思考，找出自己的信条。不要受别人的影响，自己进行探索。也许是 对自己 进行探索。不要被专横的父母和伙伴影响，不要被来自四面八方不同想法、信仰、特例独行的压力所影响。试着想象一下，你——没错，就是相同的你（有相同DNA的你）——成长一个有不同文化、不同父母、不同教育、不同朋友的环境下，对你有着大相径庭的影响，你是否还会有相同“绝对”肯定的信仰、观点、价值观和知识，监守自己现在的立场？绝对不会。很可能那个可供选择的你正从世界的另一头通过网上论坛对现在的你（真正的你）的错误观点、愚蠢信仰进行驳斥！
3、低成本-高效益的克隆
机械地接受别人的观念和信仰并不是一种学习；而是庸懒堕落、缺乏情感、漠不关心，甚至也许是弱点的表现。是对人类的廉价复制。真正的学习和理解需要通过自己亲身的探索和发现。同意别人的观点并不是不行，但不能是因为你喜欢或尊重他们就同意他们。你同意他们的理由应当是你自己有深入考虑过、探究过他们的观念和信仰，并且自己领会了同样的真理。我常常会对我无比敬佩的朋友和同事们提出异议。我喜欢他们，但我并非也一定要喜欢他们观点，同意他们的想法。那没什么不对。我喜欢我们之间的不同观点，我喜欢他们对我提出挑战并教导我。只要那些人的初衷是好的，出发点是有逻辑思维、人道关怀和诚实正直的，是相互尊重，无伤尊严的，我就乐意他们来挑战我（他们也的确常常这样做）。我不会去和那些有明显情感倾向、不理智、自我维护和反动的人讨论问题，也不会和那些想要不惜一切代价把他们观点硬塞进我脑中的人“讨论”问题。我经常犯错，我已经犯了许多错，而且无疑以后会犯更多错误。对于此，我觉得很正常。因为这是人类经历中不可缺少的、最根本的部分。如果我不再犯错，那我就真的陷入困境了，因为我已经死了。我会选择冒险，选择追寻自己的真理，选择（愿意倾听的人）分享观点、想法。我会一直意识到自己的错误、自己的人性和无数的缺点。对于我来说，许多人被迫去“相信他们被告知的东西”，而不会轻松地学习、表达自己的观点是可悲的一件事。盲目跟从别人，你就无法成为一个学习者或自由的思想者，只能成为一个信徒或绵羊。“咩”。深刻理解信徒的内涵，你就会明白当我说许多计划、组织、教堂甚至商业只是在误导崇拜者时，我并不是在开玩笑或寻衅挑拨。他们想要你顺从、听话、承诺，当然，还有你的钱。他们不想你有太多的独立思考。
4、但再一次……我可能是错的
即使是对于我上面所写的东西，你也不要因为把我当作老师或作家喜欢和尊敬就全信我。也许我的信仰并不是你的信仰。也许我是错的。但是如果你的确 同意我，那么就请你在认真思考、探究和检测过我的想法并发现它们是正确的以后，再同意我。让你自己独立思考。为自己而学习。尊重倾听他人的同时保持真正的自己而不是成为一些傻乎乎的复制品。
这些只是我在看了这个论坛五分钟后的想法——幸运的是我没有在论坛上呆上一个小时。他们一直在我脑中打转。坚持你自己对于这篇文章，这一话题的想法。