Some people are naturally good at networking. You see these people at conferences: going around shaking hands, introducing themselves to anyone that will listen, handing out business cards, etc. All the while, you stand on the sidelines simply watching the action, feeling too shy or unimportant to do the same.
Some people aren’t natural networkers. You might be quite introverted or perhaps you have some deep misgivings about the concept of “networking” (maybe it seems fake to you, and you think it’ll mean “using” people). No matter, you can still keep up friendships and make new contacts – without having to resort to some the tactics some would call "sleazy marketing".
Here’s how:
- Be Yourself
My first tip is to simply be yourself. I’m at my most comfortable when I’m being informal, and when I’m able to chat to people about things other than work! Don’t try to force yourself to network in a way that feels uncomfortable to you: if big corporate events seem insincere, avoid them. If all your colleagues are encouraging you to mass-email “useful contacts”, go for a personal and authentic approach that suits you, instead.
In the long run, the people who you want to surround yourself with are people who like you for who you are, and who want to do business with the “real you”.
- Be A Good Friend
Networking doesn’t have to be a cold, corporate activity. For me, good networking goes hand in hand with being a good friend. That means asking clients how they’re doing, and taking a genuine interest in their life and their concerns. People are much more likely to send repeat business to you if you’re their friend rather than just some random contact they once worked with.
This doesn’t mean you should try to be falsely chummy with people: as with the first tip, you should just be yourself. If a friendship doesn’t seem to be developing naturally, just leave it and move on.
- Stay In Touch
A large part of networking is simply letting people know what you’re up to. This could mean sending the occasional “newsletter” to old college friends; you never know who might be in need of your products or services. It also means taking the time to send out cards or even holiday gifts to your clients. Don’t keep trying to expand your network whilst neglecting or forgetting about those already in it.
You might even want to reconnect with friends from high school: with Facebook and other social networking sites, it’s easy to search for long-lost buddies and get back in touch.
- Use Twitter
In my opinion, one of the best online networking tools is Twitter. It’s fun, geared towards informality and conversations, and isn’t intrusive like other forms of communication can be (phone calls, and even emails, can annoy people who feel they barely know you). If you’re a bit intimidated of getting in touch with someone in your field, try following them on Twitter first. This obviously works best for those involved in tech-savvy professions but it is really catching on in on in other areas as well.
When you update your own Twitter, keep in mind who from your network will be reading. Most people won’t want to know that “Bob is eating a sandwich”. Try to make your Twitters relevant to big happenings in your work and life. After you get started, this post will introduce you to some advanced Twitter tools.
- Join A Club
Although it’s easy to have a negative view of business events that are geared to networking, a “club” doesn’t have to be something that’s just set up for people to push their wares at one another. Why not get together with colleagues in your industry on a regular basis, or even network through a hobby or passion that you have? If you’re in a sports club, for instance, let other members know what you do for a living – you never know what connections you might spark off.
Studying an academic or vocational course related to your profession is also a great way to meet people who are passionate about the same sort of work as you: I’m studying a creative writing MA and relishing the opportunity to work alongside lots of fellow writers.
If you’re “not the networking type”, how do you find new friends to help you in your work? Have you given up on seeking out clients and colleagues altogether, or have you found ways to make your personality work for you, instead of against you, in your attempts to make connections?  | Written on 1/07/2009 by Ali Hale. Ali runs Alpha Student, a blog packed with academic, financial and practical tips to help students get the most out of their time at university. | Photo Credit: Incase Designs |
译文:
给不善交际者的五条交际方面的建议
有些人天生的擅长社交。聚会场所，你会发现这种人忙得不亦乐乎：四处跟人握手，向每一个愿意听的人介绍自己，给人家递上名片等。你却始终像个局外人一样站在那儿看着这一切，总觉自己太腼腆或太无足轻重，无法像他那样去做。
有些人则天生不善长社交。你也许性格太拘谨，也许对“社交”的概念顾虑重重（认为其太虚伪，有“利用”他人之嫌）。不要紧，你既可以保持原有的友谊，也可以结交新朋友——不必非得用被有些人称为“卑鄙的钻营”的那些技俩。
以下就是我的建议：
- 保持自我
我的第一条建议就是你要保持自我。我随意的时候，跟别人聊工作以外的事的时候最舒服。不要强迫自己以一种让你很不舒服的方式跟人交流：如果觉得谈大的公事显得没有诚意，那就不要谈。如果同事劝你给“用得着的人”群发电子邮件，你可以不照办，而是采取适合自己的，有人情味，并显得真诚的其它方式。
时间一长，你的人际圈里都是因为你这个人而愿意跟你交往的人，是愿意跟“真正的你”做生意的人。
- 做个好朋友
社交不一定非得是冷冰冰的相互利用的行为。就我来说，好的社交往跟做好朋友是紧密联系在一起的。这就意味着要关心客户的近况，发自内心地关注对方的生活，急他们所急。人们通常更愿意把生意交给朋友来做，而不是交给曾经打过交道的随便什么人。
这并不是要你违心地去假装跟对方亲密：正如第一条所说，你应该保持自我。如果某段友谊不是发自内心的，那么，放弃它，朝前走。
- 要常联系
很多的社交行为只不过是让大家了解你能做什么。因此，你可以不时地给大学时代的老朋友发去“汇报式信件”；你永远不知道谁正需要你们的产品或服务。你也可以抽点时间给你关系网里的人发去贺卡甚至送节日礼物。不要因为忙着不停地扩大人际圈而忽略或忘记原有的人脉。
你也许甚至想联系上高中时代朋友：有了Facebook 和其它的社交网站，查到失去联系多年的朋友并重新与之取得联系轻而易举。
- 利用Twitter微博客网站
我认为， Twitter是最好的网上社交平台之一。它很有趣， 让人没有拘束感，采取的是留言的方式，不像其它方式那样唐突（对几乎不认识你的人来说，打电话甚至发电子邮件都可能是一种干扰）。如果你对联系自己所在领域的某个人感到胆怯的话，可以先在Twitter网上留意他的行踪。显然，这一招对从事技术性行业的人来说最有效，但确实在其它领域也越来越流行。
在Twitter网上更新自己的资料时，要记住你人际圈里的什么人会看这些资料。大部分人不会想知道“鲍勃正在吃三明治”，所以，你的资料最好跟工作和生活中的重要事有关。建立了自己的微博客之后，这个网站会让你接触到一些高级Twitter平台。
- 加入俱乐部
尽管人们对出于社交目的的商业活动很容易产生反感，但是，“俱乐部”并不一定非得是那种生意人之间相互推销产品的场所。为什么不能和业内同行定期聚一聚呢？甚至为什么大家不能因为爱好而聚一聚呢？举个例子：如果你加入的是体育俱乐部，你可以让其他会员知道你靠什么谋生——你永远不知道自己可能开启了什么样的契机。
参加跟自己职业有关的课程的学习也是一个很不错的途径，可以让你结识热爱同一行业的人：我目前正在进行创造性写作研究生课程的学习，享受着和很多同行并肩工作的机会。
如果你“不善长交际”，那么，你是如何去结识对你的职业有帮助的朋友的？你对跟客户和同事联系已经完全灰心了吗？还是你已经找到办法改善自己的个性，让它在你尝试与人交际时帮你而不是拖你后腿？