An extraordinary story of memory lost and found.
By Cynthia Dermody
What's Going On?
Andrew Engel was completely confused. Just days into his freshman year at Rutgers University, he was sitting in Sociology 101, listening to other students chime into a discussion. He had no idea what they were talking about. He had done his homework, paid attention to lectures and taken notes, but nothing was familiar. Everyone is so much smarter than I am, he thought. It was a foreign feeling, as he'd always been a good student and had graduated high school with a 3.9 GPA.
The rest of his day progressed like an episode of The Twilight Zone. He got lost, again, on his way to the cafeteria, even though he'd been there a few hours earlier. Back at his dorm, he greeted his roommate with a "Hi, how's it going?" all the while thinking, What the heck is his name again?
Photographed by Stephanie Kuykendal
Thanks to drive, determination -- and his GPS -- Andrew Engel, 30, is finding his way.
He was acting like a person with Alzheimer's disease -- but he was only 17. By the end of September, he'd dropped a class and was studying with a tutor, yet he was still struggling. He decided he had no choice but to drop out, telling his bewildered parents he wasn't cut out for college. Andrew had long wanted to get a degree and work in health care, and was crushed that his dream had been derailed. He was also distraught about being separated for the first time from his identical twin brother, Jason, also a student at Rutgers. He cried for most of the long ride to his parents' house in Maryland.
They thought it was anxiety and took Andrew to see a psychiatrist. The doctor couldn't pinpoint a cause and blamed stress. But Andrew continued to act strangely and had trouble finding the right words when speaking. He asked, "What's for dinner?" after he'd just eaten. He got disoriented driving the streets he knew so well and, while running errands, forgot why he was out. "It was weird. I'd never had health problems before," Andrew says. "I felt it had to be psychological. That I was overwhelmed and it was clouding my mind."
Andrew's mother grew increasingly concerned about his unusual behavior, and when he started to show physical symptoms, including an unquenchable thirst and frequent urination, she hustled him off to the doctor. A brain scan made it clear: Andrew had a malignant brain tumor. The size of a peach pit, it was pressing on the part of the brain that makes new memories and could be fatal if left untreated. Andrew was scared, but he was relieved that there was a reason for his odd behavior.
"He basically had amnesia," says Andrew's neuropsychologist, David Schretlen, PhD, of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. "This is the kind of memory that people lose as they get older, especially Alzheimer's patients."
Devastating Diagnosis
Memories are imprinted on the brain like data on a hard drive. All the information Andrew had downloaded before the tumor (autobiographical details, motor skills and what he learned in school) was intact. But the tumor had damaged the software used to save new information, which is why the amnesia became glaringly obvious only when he was at college, in an unfamiliar environment.
Doctors removed part of the tumor and zapped the rest with radiation, leaving Andrew so sick that he dropped 30 pounds. The cancer was gone, but his relief was short-lived, as he was told he'd probably never return to school. He had an above-average verbal IQ of 120, but his memory recall score was 68, comparable with that of a person who is developmentally challenged. His only career option would likely be a highly supervised manual-labor job.
Photographed by Stephanie Kuykendal
Andrew crammed for 12 hours a day, breaking only for meals.
"Even as they told me this, I knew I wanted to try to go back to school," Andrew says. "I didn't know if I could do it, but I was really motivated. I wanted to give it all I could to get my memory back."
His parents feared he was setting himself up for failure and asked him to check with his doctors, neuropsychologist Dustin Gordon, then a post-doctoral fellow, and his supervisor, Schretlen. Andrew was looking for a way to retrain his brain and improve his memory. The doctors had rarely seen someone so determined, so they agreed to devise strategies to help Andrew absorb information in class and while studying, as well as techniques for organizing his thoughts so he could write papers. He would have to work ten times harder than other students and, if he became overwhelmed, possibly have to quit school.
Andrew began by auditing an English class at nearby Howard Community College. Eventually he discovered that reading things at least five times increased his chance of retaining information. In class, he wrote detailed notes, and a note taker supplemented what he missed. He reread his notes several times a day, then retyped them and the textbook material. He crammed 12 hours a day, seven days a week, breaking only for class, meals or a workout. To remember lists and data, he used acronyms and mnemonics.
When he took the class for credit the next semester, he got an A. "I was happy," he says, "but unsure how I'd do in my other classes." He enrolled at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, taking just one or two courses a semester toward a bachelor's of science in health policy and administration.
While he'd found a way to compensate in the classroom, everyday life was still a challenge. He carried maps and lists when he went to the store, but one night, after leaving a Baltimore bar, he roamed the streets for hours. It was 3 a.m. when he finally found the lot where he'd parked. He now has a GPS on his cell and carries digital devices for recording reminders.
Andrew stuck with his program, and in May 2007, at age 29, more than a decade after he began, he got a standing ovation as he graduated with a 4.0.
Six months later, Andrew is at his desk in the offices of Erickson Retirement Communities in Catonsville, Baltimore, where he works as an operations associate. He'd told his future boss, Russ Caccamisi, about his memory problem during the interview. "It didn't concern me," Caccamisi says. "Those ten years in school showed Andrew's perseverance." He still uses the strategies from college, along with computer calendar reminders and the tools we all rely on to organize our frenzied lives. "What works best is repetition and using more than one way to remember something," Andrew says. "I'll write it, say it, record it and listen to it."
Of course, an imperfect memory is still frustrating. He likes movies but loses track of plots. He vaguely remembers a family trip to Hawaii and is trying to convince his parents that they should return. Then there are his beloved Redskins. Though he can't remember scores, he could tell you if they won. And when they lose? Sometimes, he says, it's good to forget.
From Reader's Digest - March 2008
译文:
我会记得【读者文摘】
一个遗失记忆后又寻回的离奇故事
Cynthia Dermody供稿
发生了什么事？
Andrew Engel完全搞懵了，就在他成为罗格斯大学大一新生的那一天，他坐在社会学教室101号，听其他学生不断地议论纷纷。他不知道他们在说些什么，他做完了作业，也注意听些讲座并做好笔记，但好像跟那些都不太一样。他觉得每个人都比他聪明，这是一种他本身不应该有的感觉，因为他总是一个好学生，并且以3.9的平均绩点高中毕业。
他剩下的日子过得就像处于阴阳魔界的边缘，他又在去学校食堂的路上走丢了，尽管他几个小时前刚去过那。回到宿舍后，他一边跟舍友打招呼“嗨，日子过得怎么样？”一边一直在那想，他到底叫什么名字来着？
Stephanie Kuykendal摄影
由于动力、决心和他的定位——Andrew Engel在30岁终于找到了他的人生之路。
他的行为证明他好像得了阿尔茨海默氏病——但他只有17岁。到九月底的时候，他退了学，跟着一位家庭教师学习，但他依然很努力。他决定他除了退学没有别的选择，但他也告诉他困惑的父母他不会放弃大学的。
Andrew一直都想获得学位然后从事卫生保健方面的工作，但这一切因为他梦想的出轨而彻底粉碎，他也为第一次和他的双胞胎兄弟——同样是罗格斯大学的学生Jason分开而烦恼。他在去他父母在Maryland的家的路上哭了很久。
大家都认为情况还是有点严重的就带了Andrew去看精神病医生，医生并没有找准病因反而归根于压力太大。但Andrew依然会有一些奇怪的举动，说话也总是让人困扰。在他刚吃完饭他会问：“午餐吃什么？”他驾车上街开始认不清方向，明明他是很熟悉那些路的，当他出门办点事，他又会忘记自己为什么要外出。“这太诡异了，我以前从没有过健康方面的问题，”Andrew说，“我觉得那可能就是精神方面的问题，我被某种东西控制，它使我的意识模糊。”
Andrew的母亲越来越关心他的异常举动，当他开始出现一些身体上的症状，包括控制不住地口渴和尿频，她赶紧送他去看医生。脑部扫描后得出结论：Andrew有一个恶性脑肿瘤，有桃核那么大，它压住了大脑生成记忆的那部分，如果不及时治疗有致命的可能。Andrew很害怕，但为他自己奇怪的举动找到了原因他也稍微得到了安慰。
“他主要还是患有健忘症，” Andrew的神经心理学医生，也是巴尔的摩约翰·霍普金斯医院的医生David Schretlen, PhD说，“这是一种随着人的年龄增长记忆开始衰退的病，尤其是阿尔茨海默氏病患者。”
毁灭性的诊断
像数据在硬盘上的存储方式一样，记忆是印在脑子里的。Andrew从恶性肿瘤上所获得的所有信息（关于自己的一切，开车的本事以及在学校所学到的东西）是完整的。但恶性肿瘤破坏了大脑储存新信息的能力，这也是为什么Andrew在大学的时候会有明显的记忆缺失的症状出现，因为这是在一个陌生的环境里。
医生移除了部分肿瘤，用射线杀死剩下的部分，这使Andrew变得很虚弱，一下瘦了30镑。癌症治愈了，但他的痛苦并没有减轻多少，因为他得知他有可能再也不能回到学校学习了。他智商120，超过平均水平，但记忆方面的分数只有68，和那些发育不健全的人相当。他唯一可选择的职业有可能就是具备指导性的手工性质的工作。
Stephanie Kuykendal摄影
Andrew一天忙碌12个小时，只有在吃饭的时候休息一下。
“即使他们告诉我这些，我知道我还是很希望试着回到学校，” Andrew说，“我也不知道我能不能做到，但我确实那么做了，我要尽我所能把我的记忆找回来。”
他父母担心他失败，让他和他的医生——神经心理学专家Dustin Gordon协商一下，然后和一位博士后的同伴以及他的导师Schretlen商量。Andrew在寻找一种能重新训练大脑来改善他的记忆的方法。医生从没有见过任何人像他一样有决心的，所以他们也同意帮助Andrew在课堂上学习的时候获得信息和知识来构建他的想法并让他能写在纸上。如果他想成功，他就不得不花其他学生10倍的努力才能有可能保证不被退学。
Andrew从在附近的霍华德社区大学旁听英语课开始，最后他发现朗读英语至少5遍能增加他记住的几率。在课堂上，他详细地记笔记，另外还有一个辅助的记录本用来补充他所遗忘的。他一天念好几次他的笔记，然后重新写出记录及笔记本上的资料。他一天忙碌12个小时，只有在课堂上、吃饭的时候和锻炼的时候休息一下。为了记住清单和数据，他利用首字母缩写和助记符的方法。
当他为了下半个学期的学分上课，他得了A时，他说：“我很高兴，但我在其他课程上还是没什么把握。”他进了巴尔的摩的马里兰州大学，专修卫生政策及管理科学的学士，半个学期大概有一至两门课程。
当他找到了一种能在教室里集中精力的方法时，日常的生活对他来说仍是一个挑战。他去商店的时候会带上地图和清单，但有一个傍晚，在离开一个巴尔的摩的酒吧后，他在街上晃荡了好几个小时。他最后找到停车的地方时已经是凌晨三点了。现在他在手机上安了GPS定位导航，并随身携带一些用来作为提醒的数码装置。
Andrew坚持着他的计划，在2007年5月，他29岁，距离计划开始大概十年多的时间，他终于以学分4.0的成绩毕业，获得了一次巨大的成功。
六个月后，Andrew在巴尔的摩Catonsville的Erickson退休社区办公室的桌旁工作着，他在那做的是操作员。他在会面的时候告诉他未来的老板Russ Caccamisi关于他自己的记忆问题。“这与我无关。” Caccamisi说。
“在学校的那十年Andrew表现出来了他的不屈不挠。”他依然用大学时候的策略，以及用我们大家都依赖的电脑日历提醒和相关工具来组织我们混乱的生活。“最有效果的是背诵和用更多的方法记住一些东西。”Andrew说，“我能写，能说，能记录并能听。”
当然，有缺陷的记忆始终还是令人困扰。他喜欢看电影但总会忘记掉一些情节，他模模糊糊地记得家人去夏威夷旅行并觉得他们似乎应该是回来了。而且那儿有他喜欢的印第安人。尽管他不太能记得分数，但他能告诉你他们是不是赢了，他们是什么时候输的。他说，有的时候忘记一些东西也不赖。
摘自2008年3月的读者文摘