父亲雅称“家严”，中国传统文化、礼教、风俗已经对父爱角色作了准确、详尽、合理的定位。“父道尊，母道亲”。父亲必须保持应有的尊严，必须自尊，才能获得家庭的尊重，然后才能保持并实施家庭教育第一责任人的尊严。“君不正，臣投外国，父不正，子奔他乡”。就是说，父亲必须以身作则，否则，无法团结教育子女，履行父亲的管教责任，甚至可能导致父子反目、离心离德。严父慈母是父母亲分别担当的固有角色，严格、严厉、严肃是父亲的应有风格。但有的父亲把一个“严”字衍化为棍棒教育、打骂教育。我从禅宗教育中得到一些启示，“棒喝”的宗旨是刺激、提醒、指点、点化，目的是开悟增慧，而不是，更不是展示家长威风。所以，一个称职的父亲重在见识高低，不在脾气大小，不要高人一等，关键是要高人一筹，做孩子的启蒙老师，做孩子的精神向导。
译文:
the Yardstick of Father's Love (II)
Fathers, the most serious man in the family, has been positioned by the traditional culture, etiquette and custom accurately, elaborately and reasonably. 'Respected Father, Intimate Mother'. Father should keep his own dignity in which way he can be respected by the whole family and maintain and implement the duty of the first stakeholder on falmily education.'If the monarch is not ingenuous, his ministers throw themselves into the lap of other countries. So does the relationship between Father and Son'. In other words, Father should set an example by his own action,or he cannot educate his own children or cannot carry out the responsibility or even lead to chilren's turning on parents and estrangement of each other. Stern father and loving mother are the fixed roles of parents.Strictness and solemnity are also the fixed style of Father. But some of them misunderstand the word 'strictness' for violent education. I get some sense from the Zen education: the principle of the 'education with sticks and abuse' is to stimulate, remind and direct; the aim of it is to let children understand and increase the intelligence rather than suppress them or even show the power of the parents. Therefore, the standard of a qualified father depends on the his knowledge other than his temper. His stand neednt be higher than others, but should be superior to the others in knowledge. Father should be the fiist teacher and the spirit guard of their child.